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I see NASI ads in the frum papers saying gedolim suggest guys should have started dating by 22. It says gedolim but it doesn’t say any names. Anyone know who they are and how many of them say this?
And 15 years ago it was the norm for non-Chasidish yeshiva guys to start dating at 20 or 21. Many were even engaged at those ages and most guys were engaged at least by 24. So what is so radical about 22 that you need gedolim to suggest it? Why did the age of dating for guys creep up in such a short time?
And 15 years ago it was the norm for non-Chasidish yeshiva guys to start dating at 20 or 21.
That’s not my observation.
Men (and women) should consider marriage when they have the financial resources (from income, family wealth, or family support) to support a family (with or without contribution from their wives). If men are marrying later, it may reflect the fact that they need more time to acquire the necessary financial resources to marry. This is a good thing.
By the time I turned 22, I was already married for four months.
The Wolf
No, marriage is not a financial arrangement.
The boy and his parents should decide when the best time is to start dating. Nobody should feel pressured to “start” dating because of an add. I know many boys who are 21 and are ready to get married and I know many boys who are 24 who are not ready to get married, people should make decisions based upon “their” situation.
Go and ask your Rebbi when he thinks it is appropriate for you to date stop asking the coffee room
Decide for yourself, but you are allowed to ask the coffee room.
No. And I don’t think a full two year difference (between your observation and mine) is mere quibbling (although I have been known to quibble).
There is an explicit mishnah that says that 18 is the age for chuppah. Not sure why we ignore it.
@charliehall you really think that most people are ready to get married at 18?
Charlie, you are in agreement with R’ Chaim Kanievsky. However, there were gedolim who felt, as Utah seems to be saying, that the mishnah was referring only to those who are ready to get married, and that it’s rare to find an eighteen year old boy who is.
nafshi chashka batorah
@charlie that mishna also says a lot of other things to do by certain ages and for sure don’t follow those in our education systems
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