Guy and Girls on Purim

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  • #751970

    I’m not even sure that this whole discussion is appropriate! But I want to add that in halacha we find “taanis bahab”. Which means that after Pesach and Sukkos the holy sages saw fit to to suggest a fast day to atone for sinfull acts that might have occured during Yom Tov! maybe Purim should qualify for the above!

    #751971
    mdd
    Member

    Daniel Breslauer, you are not allowed not to like a Yom Tov.

    #751972

    Expanding on the above: Their is no excuse for doing something inappropriate even on purim. Although we do find a discussion in halacha about monetary damage, if it has to be paid for. That in my opinion does not apply to “prikas ol”, acting in a “low” manner! What has happened to us? Are we like the mexicans? It’s a disgrace! I was also a teenager not to long ago, I know the blood boils and the hormones rage…. still no excuse! Can’t control yourself….? Check yourself into rehab…..!

    #751973
    umm
    Member

    Hey! I just read something fascinating… ALCOHOL LOWERS ONE’S INHIBITIONS!

    I can’t post the link because it’s not on the ‘approved list’, but if you don’t beleive me contact me through the mods and I’ll send you the link.

    🙂 😉

    Daas Yochid, maybe it’s becasue they weren’t approved, or maybe it’s BECAUSE alcohol lowers one’s inhibitions!

    #751974
    brotherofurs
    Participant

    i never saw any of this either. and yoyo i’m with you, never heard of that.

    #751975
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    ?? ???? ?????

    Suppose Goiym had such a Yom Tov. Where would they stop. If at all. Think about it. Even someone stoned would c”v not debase to go further. Think about the positive – no matter how much the impulse and urge (blood boils and the hormones rage), they manage to keep in check the whole year! Is such a thing to be found by goyim???

    Of course a true Ben Torah should try to fill his mind, his being, with Torah. We’re talking about those that didn’t.

    #751976
    s2021
    Member

    I dunno.. ZK I know this wasnt the point u wanted to make..n I know I may be a lil biased..but Iv heard many stories about drunk frum guys that make me shiver and extra cautious on purim..

    #751977
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Iv heard many stories about drunk frum guys that make me shiver

    Most of the stories I hear make me shiker.

    #751978
    s2021
    Member

    If I wer a drinker,the stories would make me shiker too.. atleast considered trying..

    #751979
    shimen
    Participant

    ‘nechnes yayin yatza soid’ . numerical value of soid and yayin are 70 (sanherin) ‘vos a nichter oifen ling a shikker oifen tzing’

    #751980
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    s2021: They make you shiver – and they SHOULD! – However, you need to be cautious, and do what you must do. To put someone in a difficult nisayon is not the proper thing to do – you’re becoming a vehicle of the satan.

    #751981

    Just to clarify: as someone said, it’s not that I don’t like Purim.

    What I do not like, indeed, is the way many people (especially bochurim) behave on Purim.

    The yearly ritual of seeing and hearing people yelling and vomiting and driving in cars honking their horns non-stop wearing crazy hats, does NOT make me look forward to that day.

    On *leil* Purim (ie, at the beginning of Purim), right after krias haMegillah, I was walking home and already saw drunk bochurim – a couple were so drunk their friends (who were a little less drunk) had to physically support them so they would be able to walk. This was at 7 PM, and these (chareidi, Litvishe) kids were about 13 years old! And, I repeat, this was 5 minutes after we finished reading the megillah AT NIGHT!

    #751982
    anon1m0us
    Participant

    ZeesKite: St. Patricks day, is a day of drinking. I don’t see many drunk Irishmen after that. New Years is another time they drink, but again, not much after.

    This is not something that is between Jews and goyim. There are many Jews who get drunk throughout the year. There are many goyim that get drunk throughout the year.

    The problem is you are comparing Jews against Goyim and then saying “Me K’amcha Yisroel”. The comparison should never take place. Jews should NEVER get drunk. Purim is a time to drink and be happy, not drunk and lower oneself to the level of a goy even for one second! Drinking in Judaism is to elevate oneself to serve Hashem. Since being happy is very important, Jews drink a little on Shabbos and Yomtov. But if the drinking makes us like animals in the street, it is no way permissible.

    #751984
    oomis
    Participant

    Did I miss something???? Since when is calling someone by her first name something to be discussed on this forum? In ancient times NO one had a last name. By what do you think people called each other? Now if you meant to say they were being raucous and rowdy and calling out to these girls in a drunken,suggestive manner… that I would agree with as being terrible. But just saying their names? Clearly they know them well enough to know their first names. What ELSE were they saying and doing????

    #751985
    Grandmaster
    Member

    oomis: They shouldn’t be talking to the girls on the street altogether.

    #751986
    shimen
    Participant

    oomis1105 page 2. you have a lot to learn, to undrestand, grasp what kedushas am yisroel involves. see ‘agre dekaleh’ on passuk ‘surei istacha, al tikra shema surei ala sarah’. also meforshay hatorah why yosef hatzadik did not include in ‘vechataNU lashem, but said vachaTUSI’ lashem.

    #751987
    MDG
    Participant

    Calling out to a girl in public is clearly not Tsniut, as it draws attention. Same with hanging out in public. Using a first name to address a married women is a step in the direction of closeness, which should be avoided.

    BUT can anyone bring a source as to why one should not call a relative at a family simcha – not a public place – by first name?

    #751988
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    see ‘agre dekaleh’ on passuk ‘surei istacha, al tikra shema surei ala sarah’. also meforshay hatorah why yosef hatzadik did not include in ‘vechataNU lashem, but said vachaTUSI’ lashem.

    Since you’re bringing it into the conversation and I don’t have access to a “agre dekaleh,” why don’t you tell us what the seforim say?

    The Wolf

    #751989
    hanib
    Participant

    ummm.: lol

    why is oomis being attacked just for stating her opinion?

    #751990
    s2021
    Member

    ZK- Me?? Never had a story happen to ME.. Im one of the cautious and tzniyus ones..

    #751991
    MDG
    Participant

    binahyeseira,

    I think that oomis is being attacked because those who attack her lack real substance. If you can’t quote something real, then raise your voice (or indignation) so that you seem to have something real.

    #751992
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    s2021: I didn’t say anything about you Chas V’Sholom. I’m really glad to hear someone’s careful in these issues. It makes the world slightly cleaner.

    #751993
    shimen
    Participant

    wolfmusings… ‘agre dkaleh’ the new print ktav ashiris, not the rashi oisious, chlek alef, page 212 ois 15. the mechaber is the ‘bnei yissoschar’

    #751995
    mdd
    Member

    Shimen, you mean Oomis needs to learn about Chassidishe chumros?(which in your eyes are fundamentals of Yiddishkeit). She is doing fine without them. There is no issur al pi Halocha to call a lady by her first name.

    #751996
    shimen
    Participant

    this is not chassidishe chumres, the ‘agre dekala’ just finds the remez in the torah. where she and you come fron seprate seating, swimming, dancing with mechitze etc is all a hssidishe minhug…

    #751998
    mdd
    Member

    Mixed swimming is ossur; separate seating is a good chumra(but not really ossur); dancing without mechitsa is ossur.

    #752000
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    wolfmusings… ‘agre dkaleh’ the new print ktav ashiris, not the rashi oisious, chlek alef, page 212 ois 15. the mechaber is the ‘bnei yissoschar’

    Thank you. Again, however, I don’t have access to this sefer, so please summarize for me what it said.

    Thanks,

    The Wolf

    #752001
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Mixed swimming is ossur; separate seating is a good chumra(but not really ossur); dancing without mechitsa is ossur.

    Heh… I’m wondering if I should set off certain parties on this board again about “mixed swimming” or “mixed dancing” in private with one’s wife. >:)

    The Wolf

    #752002
    mdd
    Member

    Wolfish, I, obviosly, did not mean with one’s wife in private.

    #752003
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Wolfish, I, obviosly, did not mean with one’s wife in private.

    I know you didn’t. There is one poster, however, who maintains that it is just as forbidden as swimming or dancing with any other person of the opposite gender.

    The Wolf

    #752004
    jonas
    Member

    I just want to make sure I’ve got this straight: the halachic objections were to: yelling a girls name out on the street, trying to pick a girl up on the street, calling a cousin by a first name at a family seudah, calling one’s wife by her first name in one’s own house, asking random women out for dates on the street. Discuss.

    #752005
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    daniel

    from your own words

    Just one of the reasons why I absolutely do not like Purim.

    this means that you have other reasons why YOU DON”T LIKE PURIM you can say you don’t like it that people don’t act like they should on purim, but it’s different than saying you don’t like purim. anyway what’s wrong with honking your horn or blasting music please enlighten me

    #752007
    charliehall
    Participant

    “The latter is wrong anytime “

    Huh? A guy can’t ask a girl for a date? Who assured it, and when? How else is someone supposed to get married?

    OTOH I don’t think very many girls will accept a date from a guy who is drunk when he asks her out!

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