Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Guy and Girls on Purim
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March 21, 2011 9:15 pm at 9:15 pm #595810adorableParticipant
I noticed twice yesterday that guys were calling girls by their first name in public (single guys who would normally die of embarrassment if they “slipped”)….I thought it was pretty bad! Why is it that when they get “high” they say things that are not appropriate? I would die if a random guy asked me out on Purim in public!
March 21, 2011 10:10 pm at 10:10 pm #751914popa_bar_abbaParticipantBecause alcohol reduces inhibitions.
March 21, 2011 10:15 pm at 10:15 pm #751915GrandmasterMemberCalling by the first name or asking out? Those are two different things. The former is bad, but might be excusable on Purim. (Might be, I’m not sure.) The latter is wrong anytime (even not in public).
March 21, 2011 10:30 pm at 10:30 pm #751916pascha bchochmaParticipantI generally avoid being around men on Purim.
March 21, 2011 10:30 pm at 10:30 pm #751917yitayningwutParticipantBecause alcohol lowers a person’s inhibitions. Were you looking for a deeper answer?
March 21, 2011 10:58 pm at 10:58 pm #751918ItcheSrulikMemberAlcohol lowers inhibitions.
March 21, 2011 11:04 pm at 11:04 pm #751919ummMemberDid anyone mention that alchohol lowers a person’s inhibitions?? 😉
Seriously, why is everyone repeating eachother?
March 21, 2011 11:11 pm at 11:11 pm #751920dunnoMemberMore than once I’ve heard guys say things on Purim that they wouldn’t have dared to say had they been sober. Think before getting drunk!
March 22, 2011 12:55 am at 12:55 am #751921mw13Participantdunno:
“More than once I’ve heard guys say things on Purim that they wouldn’t have dared to say had they been sober. Think before getting drunk!”
I’m not sure how thinking beforehand would help anything. No matter how hard you think, alcohol still (wait for it…) lowers one’s inhibitions.
March 22, 2011 12:58 am at 12:58 am #751922StuffedCabbageParticipantits really embarrassing when these yeshivah bochrim start asking you your name and age and stuff on purim!! but its pretty funny when they get drunk you havta admit…..
March 22, 2011 1:09 am at 1:09 am #751923toomuch00MemberYea i was walking down a street in flatbush yesterday and a guy, teenaged, calls out to me ” Hey how are ya, a frelichin purim sweetie! “. it was totally weird and he didnt even look drunk! does he think just because its purim he could act like that?? that never happened to me before so i was really suprised
March 22, 2011 1:16 am at 1:16 am #751924GrandmasterMemberPurim is no excuse for that crude vulgar behavior.
March 22, 2011 1:21 am at 1:21 am #751925toomuch00MemberI mean maybe im at fault because i was dressed up sorta cutely (if i do say so myself) and i was like around his age.. but i wouldnt expect a guy to talk to me in the 1st place.
March 22, 2011 1:23 am at 1:23 am #751926mosheroseMember“I noticed twice yesterday that guys were calling girls by their first name in public”
No man shuld EVER call a woman by her first name in public unless its his daugter or granddaugter.
March 22, 2011 1:32 am at 1:32 am #751927dunnoMembermw13
I meant to say if he thinks what could happen before drinking he might limit it.
March 22, 2011 1:35 am at 1:35 am #751928s2021Membermosherose- Is it OK if my cousin sometimes calls me by my first name? He usually just says like “uh excuse me..” but yesterday he wanted me to pass him the Diet Dr. Pepper and I couldnt hear him coughing so he called me by my first name. I was takah very embarrased and I couldnt stop blushing the entire seudah..
March 22, 2011 1:37 am at 1:37 am #751929yoyo56Memberwhat should they call them by then?!?
March 22, 2011 1:41 am at 1:41 am #751930mosheroseMember“Is it OK if my cousin sometimes calls me by my first name? He usually just says like “uh excuse me..””
If hes going to talk to you at all he shuld call you Miss or Mrs. whatever yur last name is.
Also I dont know if a mixed Purim seuda is a good idea eether.
March 22, 2011 1:47 am at 1:47 am #751931metrodriverMembermosherose; …Or his sister!
March 22, 2011 1:50 am at 1:50 am #751932yoyo56Memberis this a joke each time a man other than ur grandfather and father call u they should say miss/mrs?!?
March 22, 2011 1:51 am at 1:51 am #751933whatelseisleftMembermight confused:
why would anyone ever call another by a first name?
some one please enlighten me!
March 22, 2011 1:55 am at 1:55 am #751934GrandmasterMemberBy many Bnei Torah, a husband will not call his wife by her first name if non immediate family is around.
March 22, 2011 1:57 am at 1:57 am #751935s2021Membermosherose- did I say Diet Dr. Pepper? I meant Gemarah. And it was over the mechitzah..
March 22, 2011 2:00 am at 2:00 am #751936mosheroseMember“By many Bnei Torah, a husband will not call his wife by her first name if non immediate family is around. “
And many more wont use her first name at all even if their alone in private.
March 22, 2011 2:02 am at 2:02 am #751937seventytotheOneMember“I mean maybe im at fault because i was dressed up sorta cutely (if i do say so myself) and i was like around his age.. but i wouldn’t expect a guy to talk to me in the 1st place.”
Girls just can’t seem to put 2 and 2 together on this one. It’s over their heads. If you care about the future of the jewish people, don’t dress provocatively (read: cutely) around drunk boys your age! Or ever, but that’s too much for you to understand, obviously.
March 22, 2011 2:03 am at 2:03 am #751938☕️coffee addictParticipantI noticed twice yesterday that guys were calling girls by their first name in public
Yeah,
Even I called to some girls (something which I don’t usually do and I said Mrs.___ (In context, it was to ask if they liked it if their husbands get drunk)
March 22, 2011 2:11 am at 2:11 am #751939GrandmasterMembermbachur: Men don’t need their wife’s approval to do a mitzvah.
March 22, 2011 2:33 am at 2:33 am #751940toomuch00Memberseventytotheone: Firstly, it is so not over my head and i understand completely. i was not dressed “provacatively” at all, bute Cute, like i said. thats a big difference. Also, this guy was not drunk. I was just wondering if purim gave him the permission of talking to me, when it would never happen on a regular day.
March 22, 2011 2:37 am at 2:37 am #751941☕️coffee addictParticipantGrandmaster,
I know that, that’s why i asked after i was drunk
I was just showing her that wives on’t care if their husbands get drunk
March 22, 2011 4:48 am at 4:48 am #751942simple-jewMemberWhat about the girls that start conversations with guys? Also since it is known that the teenage guys are out collecting and unfortunetly drinking when it is not the mitzvah to (i.e. By night) then why do the parents let the girls go outside? Especially dressed CUTE? Or not tzniusdik.
March 22, 2011 5:34 am at 5:34 am #751943mischiefmakerMemberI’ve heard many times that lots of bad stuff goes on on purim. In concerts, meals, boys collecting… Purim is NO excuse for anyone to overstep their boundaries. However when someone is drunk, their insides come out and they might say what they’re thinking which may not be appropriate. You can’t make girls stay inside and run away from guys. Girls are allowed to live just like guys can. Even if they stay inside, guys go collecting so you can’t stop it. Just respond coldly when a random guy starts a conversation. And this is why many girls don’t dress up “cutely” or at all.
And mosherose: mixed meals are fine when they are done correctly. Its called SELF CONTROL!!!
March 22, 2011 9:46 am at 9:46 am #751944Shticky GuyParticipantI dont get it. This is such a confused thread where yet again it seems we cant differentiate between acceptable and not. Comparing guys (married or single) calling out to single random girls in the street is never acceptable whoever and whatever. Calling a cousin by their name to whom you or at least your families obviously have connection if you’re both sitting at the same Purim ??????? I cant see anything wrong with that at all.
March 22, 2011 11:16 am at 11:16 am #751945newsreaderParticipantPurim is not an excuse for that sort of behaviour. But girls should not be hanging around drunk boys at all, it encourages that sort of loshonos. Seminarys should keep older girls of the drunken streets and on the holiest day of the year, Purim, will be a kosher day.
March 22, 2011 12:27 pm at 12:27 pm #751946mddMemberIf one knows, he will not behave himself, he should no drink on Purim.
March 22, 2011 12:38 pm at 12:38 pm #751947Daniel BreslauerMemberJust one of the reasons why I absolutely do not like Purim. On Purim, I don’t drink wine (I never do in any case), I don’t hold any big seudah (just a small seudah with my wife and close family with no or almost no alcohol), go to work, and at home I lock myself up behind a double lock to avoid the drunks.
March 22, 2011 1:12 pm at 1:12 pm #751948shev143MemberYou would die? Thank Gd that isnt something you have to worry about.
March 22, 2011 1:43 pm at 1:43 pm #751949simple-jewMemberI wasn’t saying that the girls should be locked in the houses and its very different inside the house in front of the mother/father. Maybe there should be school get togethers for the girls with bouncers so no guys could come in (on purim night) I was going around delivering some shaloch manos on purim night and I saw groups of guys and girls right next to each other that’s unacceptable and either the parents should keep the girls or the guys @ home
March 22, 2011 3:02 pm at 3:02 pm #751951☕️coffee addictParticipantYou don’t like purim?
March 22, 2011 3:11 pm at 3:11 pm #751952apushatayidParticipantIs it true, alcohol lowers ones inhibitions?
March 22, 2011 3:30 pm at 3:30 pm #751953Shticky GuyParticipantDaniel whats going on with your ??????? No wine. Going to work. Small ????? ???? ?? ???? by the sound of it. Where’s the ??? ???? ????? that we’re supposed to have? You seem to have ????? ? (just about) but not the ??? ???? !!
March 22, 2011 4:41 pm at 4:41 pm #751956☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantIs it true, alcohol lowers ones inhibitions?
I’ve seen that a number of times.
BTW, the reason so many posts said the same thing is probably because they were posted when the earlier ones were not yet approved.
Or they thought they were being funny.
Now everyone try to be funny and repeat my post… 😉
March 22, 2011 4:44 pm at 4:44 pm #751957YW Moderator-80MemberBTW, the explanation as to why so many posts said the same thing is because they were posted when the earlier ones were not yet approved.
March 22, 2011 4:48 pm at 4:48 pm #751958popa_bar_abbaParticipantMaybe people said the same thing more than once because they wrote it before the previous ones were approved.
March 22, 2011 4:49 pm at 4:49 pm #751959popa_bar_abbaParticipantOr maybe they wanted to be funny.
March 22, 2011 4:50 pm at 4:50 pm #751960YW Moderator-80Memberanother possibility is that, hard as this is to believe, they thought they were being funny
March 22, 2011 4:55 pm at 4:55 pm #751961veteranMemberThe most likely explanation is that every post in the CR is posted 3-5 times. Then Mod 80 deletes the ones that came before his.
March 22, 2011 5:20 pm at 5:20 pm #751962SacrilegeMemberA.
This is what girls have to realize, not only on Purim, but all year long: If you dress like a slut, they will comment.
To you its “cutely” to him its provocative.
B.
Purim is a YOM TOV, a holy one at that. You dont ‘dislike’ it. You dislike the way people are Mivazeh it perhaps.
C.
The solution isnt to deprive woman and girls of their Simchas Yom Tov because their are some boys (and girls) who cant control themselves.
The solution would be for parents to ACT like parents and Rabbeim to ACT like Rabbeim and to limit the drinking of those who SHOULD NOT be drinking. Believe me, it is not the ones who are fulfilling the Mitzva of Ad D’lo Yada correctly that are cat calling and embarrassing themselves (and their family, Yeshiva….)
March 22, 2011 5:35 pm at 5:35 pm #751963gavra_at_workParticipantTruthfully I’m not sure why someone who calls herself “cutiepie” is even asking the question.
March 22, 2011 6:33 pm at 6:33 pm #751964Shticky GuyParticipantThis Purim I was thinking of sticking with Low-Alcohol beer only.
Because reduced alcohol increases inhibitions. 🙂
March 22, 2011 7:41 pm at 7:41 pm #751969bptParticipantI don’t know how I missed all this, as I was outside (in both BP and Flatbush) from noon till past mindight, and did not see any of this. Boys were rowdy, but very respectful of girls / women. I know of one house party that had a mixed crowd, but that’s the norm for that house, so its unfair to blame Purim for that.
One the whole, I saw very few true drunken boys (did not see ONE drunk girl)
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