Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Girls- things that a guy does or says on a date that makes you lose interest
- This topic has 19 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 9 months ago by pascha bchochma.
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February 21, 2011 4:50 am at 4:50 am #595190OfcourseMember
Name things that a guy does or says on a date that makes you lose interest.
I know appearance is of pretty major importance, so leave that out.
February 21, 2011 5:06 am at 5:06 am #742666TumsMemberGirls- things that a guy does or says on a date that makes you lose interest
Huh? Is dating a game? You say the right things and you advance to Go and collect $200; say something uninteresting and you lose.
And I thought it was about marriage.
February 21, 2011 5:16 am at 5:16 am #742667mom of a fewMemberFor each person it will be something else which is why there is truly one bashert for each person. Something that will get on person nervous another person will not mind.
February 21, 2011 5:19 am at 5:19 am #742668OfcourseMemberTums, how else to judge a person’s personality, compatibility etc other than by what they say and do? You’re certainly not playing house and getting vibes by how the person plays husband/father/wife/mother. What else do you have to go on?
mom of a few, which is why Im asking the question on a forum, to see what girls/guys do or say that is negative/distasteful to greater numbers of singles.
February 21, 2011 5:24 am at 5:24 am #742669cshapiroMemberwhen a guys started talking about starwars i was a gonner….i just smiled and noded but it was so over.. :))
February 21, 2011 5:29 am at 5:29 am #742670always hereParticipantI would think showing rudeness or anger.
for ex.- being rude to a waiter, -or- cursing while driving in traffic.
February 21, 2011 5:32 am at 5:32 am #742671JamParticipantAggressive driving is a huge turn off.
February 21, 2011 5:42 am at 5:42 am #742672cshapiroMemberooh ooh id like to add stinginest (a cup of coffee is okay for a first date but after that….lets step it up a notch), if a guy doesnt treat me or others with respect its definitley a red flag (bh it has yet to happen). as far as cursing, if its not so bad i would let it slide just once, because we all slip once in a while and nobody is perfect.
February 21, 2011 5:43 am at 5:43 am #742673pascha bchochmaParticipantReckless driving. I was in a car on a date, and he sideswiped another car filled with children.
Another person I went out with, was a great driver and I must say it impressed me that he remained calm and asked if we could stop talking so he could concentrate when there was a tricky area.
February 21, 2011 5:46 am at 5:46 am #742674real-briskerMemberWhat is the problem with aggressive driving, do you mind it in general? Or just on a date?
February 21, 2011 5:57 am at 5:57 am #742675pascha bchochmaParticipantreal-brisker: In general, it’s generally not the way a ben Torah should be driving. Deracheha Darchei Noam – even on the Derech!
If done on a date, though, that indicates that it wasn’t a mistake – it’s his way of driving and he doesn’t even realize how dangerous it is and that he could be making a chillul Hashem.
I wouldn’t consider this a deal breaker but it bothered me a lot.
February 21, 2011 6:02 am at 6:02 am #742676ZeesKiteParticipantWhy do these depressing threads come out on Sundays?
February 21, 2011 6:12 am at 6:12 am #742677JamParticipantAggressive driving is never pleasant, but its especially uncomfortable on a date. Genereally, if i’m in a car with an aggessive driver its usually someone I know(ex. brother, father, uncle…) So even though I dont appreciate being bopped over pot holes, i still trust them and therefore trust their driving.
On the other hand, on a date- where i’m sitting next to a complete stranger who is cutting off every second car, and short stopping 3mm before a yellow light…. for all i know the next second he may decide to drive into a pole.
Also, a date is supposed to be calm, unhurried, peaceful…
if the guy is speeding and jerking it gives an unpleasant feeling.
February 21, 2011 6:20 am at 6:20 am #742678canineMembercshapiro, thats quite interesting… If he curses its ok, but if he doesnt treat you to something nice and more expensive he’s outta here… lol. That’s a first!
February 21, 2011 7:21 am at 7:21 am #742679hanibParticipantif a guy talked and talked and didn’t seem interested in what i said; and if he put down a lot of people during the date; also talking on a cellphone to others is a big turn-off
February 21, 2011 11:29 am at 11:29 am #742680haifagirlParticipantI wouldn’t consider this a deal breaker but it bothered me a lot.
I would consider it a deal breaker.
February 21, 2011 11:54 am at 11:54 am #742681the.nurseMemberalways here-
i agree with you. if a guy was rude-to a waiter or anyone else- it would be a huge turn-off for me. if that’s the way he treats a waiter, imagine how he’ll treat you.
February 21, 2011 12:25 pm at 12:25 pm #742682cshapiroMembercanine, u must be new to the cr…
February 21, 2011 1:22 pm at 1:22 pm #742683OfcourseMemberZeeskite, Why do these depressing threads come out on Sundays?
Hey, whats depressing? The most depressing thing about Shidduchim, is those who dont have dates….. As long as you have dates, you’re on your way! Analyzing, sharing and learning from experiences shouldnt be depressing.
February 21, 2011 1:28 pm at 1:28 pm #742684pascha bchochmaParticipantCanine, you’re absolutely right. Personally, cursing is an immediate turnoff for me, no questions asked. I don’t care if it slipped out, some things are not allowed to slip out. Some people may be used to it from their parent or at work – Not me.
Whereas, “stinginess” as long as he makes sure I’m not starving (Ie on a 5 hour date (not that I’ve gone on too many of those) makes sure there’s a snack) is actually a good thing in my opinion. It shows he isn’t going to waste his money on impressing every girl, and has more to offer than money.
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