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NOTG
“if i was that girl you dated i would say “i dont care what we do i just wanna be with you.”
Dont you think we are moving “a little” too fast?!
NOTG
“if i was that girl you dated i would say “i dont care what we do i just wanna be with you.”
Dont you think we are moving “a little” too fast?! If you pay for it Ill go on a sky diving date with you Bli Neder.
Coffefan
“i mean what are you supposed to order?!?! and the worst part is when he asks if i want dessert because i NEVER know what to say”
Heres what I do. I say something like, “did you decide what youre getting?” and then he usually says “well, I’m debating between a and b” then I see what price range he is ordering in. You do NOT want to order the filet mignon when he is getting a salad. Then just order what you like, dont over think it.
Dessert. I dont like dessert. Everytime without fail that I’ve gone out to eat (many) the guy asked what I wanted for dessert, I just say that I’m not a dessert person, and I’ll pass. There was one instance where the guy I was dating insisted that I get something (we had been dating for a while) so I took a forkful, and he finished the rest. Be flexible and roll w the punches.
obviously theres a lot more details which i cant possibly include unless i were writing a book….
this guy was as tough as they come…totally gorgeous football player, but he didnt have a clue how to express emotion.
I told him at the end of the date, I have something to tell you but u have to promise not to laugh. He promised, but then we started talking about something else but of course he remembered that i had sumthing to say…..:)) so i said i think im falling for u, he laughed, i opened the car door and started to get out, he grabbed my arm and was like no wait dont go. he was like so not expecting it, it was so awesome!!!! he was like dumbfounded he had no idea what to say. i called him later that evening to appologize, cause that was prob overwhelming for him. and he said no one had ever said that to him before and his heart was racing but he is so not in touch with his emotions he didnt have a clue……anyways it was a huge mistake on my part cause guys are supposed to chase us and not visa versa, but u live and learn!!!
i should def rite a book….
cshapiro: He actually grabbed your arm?!?!?! (Sorry, couldn’t resist…)
WIY: the only way i would monetarily endorse it would be as payment for an explanation (b”n). I percieve from various threads that you possess a bit (i say a bit because depth of torah is infinite) of knowledge of Judaic studies. so what draws you to the CR specifically as opposed to a place i fathom you enjoy in regard to spending your valuable time? and i emhasize the world valuable because it is. was my question clear or are you confused?
hypocaffeinemia, I would be dan l’kaf zchus, that he momentarily lost rational thought and didn’t realize that is was an aveira.
cshapiro
As much as its the guys job to “chase” after the girl, the girl should not hide her feelings from the guy. From your post it sounds like you view dating as some kind of game. Its not a game. You are trying to find the person for happily ever after. Its the person you will be most intimate with on every level and you should express your love and feelings for the other in an open manner. If you are “falling” for someone who you dont think is right for you then use your seichel and keep it to yourself and break it off. Its very easy for people to “crush” on someone who is very attractive and charming of the opposite gender even when deep down you know they are so wrong for you. Girls, you have to learn how to not let your heart lead your head in dating. Once things check out and you think he is the one you can express your feelings.
At least this is my opinion. I hope the person that I one day marry will be open and will have no problem expressive her warmth love and affection for me.
cshapiro:
Don’t you love how people miss the whole point of the story? 🙂
yes….(GASP!!!!!) this is why i have to leave out details lol :)))
dunno….EXACTLY….listen, i dont care if u guys judge me on my poor dating skills…i am used to casual dating, so this shidduch stuff is kinda awkward for me, but in any case. The point is, the guy was not telling me how he felt, was i supposed to guess??? the shadchan had no idea, she was convinced we were so perfect for each other (she was also counting her shadchanus gelt$$$ obviously).
To answer WIY, u shouldnt go around making assumptions about people you dont know…as i stated quite clearly i left out a lot of details and therefore how could u possibly judge without knowing the entire story….besides you know what they say about people who assume….
as for everyone else, when u see a red flag, RUN!!! not showing emotions, thats kinda a red flag….
NOTG
Your question is a good question and one I have asked myself numerous times. You are so curious to know the answer?? 🙂
Indeed. I only ask questions that I want to know the answers to otherwise i would not inquire. Also curiosity is often inspired by alterior intent (I quote myself)
cshapiro
Do you need the guy to spell it out for you? Dont expect the guy to gush or express very personal feeling early on, its just not how most guys are.
If you dont think the guy is into you then its likely he isnt. If he guy is interested he will look and act interested. Judge how he looks at you, how interested he is, if he is curious to know about you, if he asks questions and draws you into conversation. Its really not hard to tell if someone is into you.
NOTG
You seem new around here did you just recently join? How long were you lurking for?
What you are doing is called “avoidance.” but since you asked i would call my joining recent, and it shall be an abrupt visit for reasons which i do not wish to exploit.
Avoidance?
I think I answered your question sufficiently (you act as if I owe you a reply I dont know you and today is the first time I saw your user name).
wiy, if a guy spends $2000 to fly u across the atlantic, do u think he is interested in you? or just leading you on?…..told u theres so much more details…
WIY: also,if are asking about my joining in case you wanted to wish me hello or good morning, i’ll spare you the greeting to allow you to abide by “al tarbeh sicha…”
anyways it was a huge mistake on my part cause guys are supposed to chase us and not visa versa, but u live and learn!!!
You never heard the expression “a man chases a woman until she catches him”?
@haifagirl, im used to playing hard to get, but in the shidduch world, that doesnt work out so well….so transitioning from one to the other is not as easy as it sounds…
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