Girls shouldn't go to seminary

Home Forums Rants Girls shouldn't go to seminary

Viewing 30 posts - 1 through 30 (of 30 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #616988

    I believe that girls going to Israel for seminary is a waste of time. They go for a year or even two years for what is basically summer camp all year round, and they don’t gain anything from it.

    Seminaries are the cause of the shidduch crisis because the girls are starting shidduchim later.

    #1122961
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant
    #1122962
    Joseph
    Participant

    They should go to local seminary, not seminary in Israel.

    Or get married out of 12th grade.

    #1122963

    1) Girls not getting shidduch suggestions

    2) Girls not going out

    #1122964
    Daniell11
    Member

    Agreed it is summer camp.

    #1122965

    hanging out in Geula and town with boys after curfew is all the more reason why girls shouldn’t be coming to Israel. Israel is meant for mature guys that want to come to learn in yeshiva.

    NOT FOR GIRLS COMING FOR CAMP

    #1122966
    Luna Lovegood
    Participant

    I went to seminary in Israel and it was an amazing experience. I learned a tremendous amount. It was nothing like summer camp. I was in class Sunday- Thursday from 8:30 in the morning to 10 at night (12 on Thursday nights for mishmar). The learning I did in seminary built on my high school education and left me with an appreciation for Torah. It was definitely not a waste of time.

    #1122967
    Joseph
    Participant
    #1122968
    flatbusher
    Participant

    Notwithstanding the face that my daughters went to Israel for seminary, I agree it is a waste of money and time. They could go to seminary here if they are really interested in learning post-HS. But I don’t agree that this is the cause of a shidduch crisis. Most of my daughters friends with whom they went to seminary together are already married.

    Luna: No doubt there are many girls with your experience, but there are many more that it is like summer camp. The curriculum is geared toward those going into chinuch. Sadly, it is peer pressure that has fueled the seminary industry, much to the dismay of parents who can ill afford it. Looking back, do you think your parents owed you that $25,000-plus experience?

    #1122969
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    1) Girls not getting shidduch suggestions

    2) Girls not going out

    How does pushing off shidduchim for a year cause or even exacerbate that?

    #1122970
    apushatayid
    Participant

    “hanging out in Geula and town with boys after curfew”

    “Israel is meant for mature guys that want to come to learn in yeshiva.”

    So I presume you would agree that going to “learn” in E’Y is not for all guys either.

    #1122971
    technical21
    Participant

    Most of my friends who stayed here for seminary did not get any shidduch suggestions during the year. It’s hard for people to take an 18-year-old girl seriously.

    With regard to seminary, I don’t know where I would be without it. I feel that if utilized properly, the seminary year can be a year of tremendous emotional, spiritual, and intellectual growth. That growth could not have necessarily been achieved here, when girls are still connected to their families. Seminary is a time to step out of preconceived notions about yourself, which is hard to do when you’re living at home.

    As for the partying- well, know your girls. Yes, some girls do go to E’Y to party, and I would tend to agree that for them, seminary is a waste of time and money. Most girls don’t go for that, though. In my seminary, it was a very small minority of girls who were partying in Geula and Ben Yehuda; the rest of us took the year seriously. Yes, we had a ton of fun, but that wasn’t the sole focus.

    #1122972
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    Not all sems are like camp.

    #1122973
    Luna Lovegood
    Participant

    Flatbusher- I worked hard in high school to get good grades which helped me get a scholarship from the school, I applied to various organizations that give girls learning in Israel scholarships, and I used some of my own money that I made from various jobs over the years.

    I really wanted my year and worked hard to make it happen. It wasn’t handed to me.

    #1122974
    flatbusher
    Participant

    Luna: But you do understand that not everyone does it that way. Not every school gives scholarships and what organizations offer often does not cover even half the cost of the year. So your parents didn’t pay a cent to make it happen?

    #1122975
    flatbusher
    Participant

    Shopping: No one said all seminaries are like camp but there are enough out there that are. My daughters went to a serious place and worked hard but there was plenty of fun time as well. Seminary in Israel is a racket. They have limited space but still charge non-refundable application fees that must be lucrative since they can take only a percentage of the applicants. I don’t know how many girls actually want to go to Seminary in Israel for the learning and spiritual experience, but for most people it is a draining expense.

    #1122976
    writersoul
    Participant

    My parents urged me to go to seminary, even when I decided I didn’t want to go. Not because it was socially acceptable- if I’d had good reasons for not wanting to go then they would have been completely supportive- but because they wanted me to experience EY and have an amazing year. Baruch Hashem I listened to them, gaining in learning, maturity and experiences that are inseparable parts of me.

    In a way, it’s even more important for more yeshivish girls than me. I know from my cousins that this is the last and only year for THEM- where the focus is on their self-growth, their enjoyment, their experience. The next year is a whirlwind of jobs, college, dating, marriage- in which the focus is on others. Is the year necessary? No, I’d say not. Is it an amazing thing? Yes.

    #1122977

    LUNA…

    Did you go to BJJ

    #1122978
    Bored_on_the_Job
    Participant

    Where does the tuition money that seminaries charge go towards?

    Are actual costs and overhead really that expensive?

    #1122980
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    People like me have it tough. I have yet to find anyone/organization/grant for girls whom live in Israel currently.

    Hashem will send help. I’m not going for sem for camp. I have reasons I cannot disclose here.

    But don’t judge everyone.

    #1122981
    flatbusher
    Participant

    Bored: Probably the same as tuition money, where schools hire inexperienced teachers fresh out of seminary. I don’t think they are paying them high salaries.

    #1122982
    Luna Lovegood
    Participant

    This name is already taken- No. I did not go to BJJ

    #1122983
    Hashemisreading
    Participant

    DaasYochid: How do you define “the shidduch crisis”?

    This name is already taken: 1) Girls not getting shidduch suggestions

    2) Girls not going out

    isn’t both reasons one and the same? How can they go out if their not getting shidduch suggestions?

    #1122984
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    3) girls not getting married

    is also related.

    #1122985
    Hashemisreading
    Participant

    4) The boys mother

    is also related.

    #1122987
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    So are his sister and cousin.

    #1122988
    Bramo
    Participant

    The girls get brainwashed that they should marry a learning boy who wants to sit in kollel the problem is that most girls are not growing up with such a lifestlye and after 9 months they think thats their tafkid in life and most girls dont realize this until a couple months back

    #1122990
    technical21
    Participant

    Bramo- those who do not believe in marrying a learning boy will view it as brainwash; those who do believe in marrying a learning boy will view it as being taught the right way. It all depends on your perspective.

    Many, if not most girls my age did not grow up with this lifestyle. Even if our fathers started off learning, most likely they went out to work when we were very young or not born yet. However, just because a person did not grow up with something, does not mean they cannot choose it for themselves.

    #1122991
    chushuvazach
    Member

    you have to know your daughter… Israel can also be a very dangerous place If ya know what I mean…

    #1122992
    Health
    Participant

    Joe -“Or get married out of 12th grade.”

    To a guy much older than them!

Viewing 30 posts - 1 through 30 (of 30 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.