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Bake him cookies. Its an old adage- the way to a guy’s heart is through his stomach.
It’s almost never to early in the dating process to do so, as a bonus natural selection will weed out the girls who can’t bake cookies, leading to a healthier crop of girls who can.
Many options are available: Chocolate chip, the old time classic conveys general thoughtfulness, appreciation, and admiration- all without verbal expression!
Oatmeal, or whole wheat demonstrate health consciousness as well as being a bit yuppy.
Oatmeal raisin can lead to trust issues also a clear signal of dislike- avoid at all costs unless your trying to break up.
White chocolate chip craisin with or without oatmeal is a classy twist, but should preferably be mixed with the standard CC variety.
I have yet to hear a guy not be impressed by being graced with a thoughtful batch of cookies.
Girls- the choice is yours!
you should definitely try submitting this to Cosmo
What should guys do?
Eat the cookies. (Unless they are oatmeal-raisin–those will probably be poisoned.)
they’re like the yellow roses of cookies
Someone’s extremely hungry. The food (or lack of it) is getting to his head.
What do cinnamon buns symbolize? Cause that’s the best.
Well, cinnamon means “my fortune is yours.” So they probably mean she wants to give you all her money.
I was lassoed and caught by her gift of zuccini cake early in the dating process. Its been thirty three years now, and she has not made it, nor have I eaten any since. It wasn’t bad, just like honey cake with emerald highlights, and it served its purpose.
I was lassoed and caught by her gift of zuccini cake early in the dating process. Its been thirty three years now, and she has not made it, nor have I eaten any since. It wasn’t bad, just like honey cake with emerald highlights, and it served its purpose.
hee hee
First thing I ever made for my then-boyfriend, was my mom’s one-of-a-kind cheese blintzes from scratch. I guess he wanted to see what else I could cook, as we became engaged shortly thereafter. Still cooking 36 years later…
Dude, you’re the man! I’m so glad somebody posted this…I am finally ready to admit that I had a lack of perfection for not seeing it as clearly as you did…congrats! (but now that I do, I’m perfect again woohoo!)
I think the whole cooking or baking thing can backfire if its not that good. I think I would only marry a woman who would be open to my constructive criticism of her cooking/baking. I don’t want to eat bad food my whole life lol.
I think I would only marry a woman who would be open to my constructive criticism of her cooking/baking
You’ve got a lot to learn my friend.
*coughDOUBLESTANDARDcoughcough*
U r 12????????? OOM you were joking right?
I no kid
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/turning-60504030-shas-ratzon#post-441878
*coughDOUBLESTANDARDcoughcough*
Thanks for my daily chuckle. 🙂
My cousin’s kallah made him cookies when they were dating.
Chocolate chip. REEEEALLY good.
They got engaged the next night.
Now, the causality I wouldn’t swear to, but…
BOY. WERE THEY GOOD COOKIES.
OneOfMany
I don’t think its a double standard at all. I just want someone who would want me to be honest when I have to answer the question of “honey did you like the _____? Was it too spicy/sweet/salty…?”
I’m not a critical person but I happen to care what my food tastes like and if its a little off I will say I like it with more salt. I you can’t take that dont marry me. Ill make it clear during dating so you wont get any surprises.
I want a girl who will want to please me and if she doesn’t want to go to the trouble of making food to my liking shes not for me. I don’t think its much to ask for and I am sure there are many eishes chayils who really want to please their husbands and understand that most men care about their food and want his true opinion. I know whenever I cook if someone says something critical, (I prefer if it is said nicely of course) I appreciate it as it helps me make the dish better the next time.
I think I would only marry a woman who would be open to my constructive criticism of her cooking/baking. I don’t want to eat bad food my whole life lol.
*coughDOUBLESTANDARDcoughcough*
What is the double standard – The “Why would you ask for something you can’t get” or the whole critical business?
haifagirl: ^_^
WIY: That sounds very charming, but how exactly do those sentiments obviate the double standard I’ve pointed out?
yekke2: lol very clever. It’s the latter. 😛
WIY,
I agree completely. One of the downsides to being a good cook (such as myself) is that most people don’t prepare things I like very much. Perhaps I am a bit too anal about what I eat, but this is a big deal to me, too. A lot of people make amateurish errors when cooking, such as not using enough seasoning, not using enough water when boiling pasta (and not stirring it enough), not using hot enough of a pan, etc., which all result in poor-tasting food.
B”H, kosher food has come a long way.
WIY: If she ASKS for your opinion, then fine. But if you’re dating, and she thinks it’s going great, and she decides to take time out of her day to make you a batch of her favorite chocolate chip cookies, and you taste one and your first reaction is “too sweet,” then sorry, but that goes beyond honest critique. There’s a time and place for everything.
In this day and age, of women’s lib, and metrosexuals, and all other kakamayme hiddushim in the realm of gender roles, I do agree that a man should consider himself blessed and fortunate that a girl would take the time to bake him or cook him something, even if it is gross.
RD: cockamamy or cockamamie according to Merriam-Webster.
You can get anyone to like you by feeding them a Ploughman’s Pie. Certainly a good idea in this age of the shidduch crisis. Just make sure to use the onion trick to keep them crisp. Otherwise the pie will get ruined.
GAW – As long as you’re not using the ginger beer trick on the guy at the same time…
I saw a recipe for Ploughman’s Pie just now. It looks like a tasty halavi meal to serve, and it gives me inspiration for an English-inspired meal (Ploughman’s Pie, Fish and Chips, veggie Bangers and Mash- Redwood makes LBD-supervised veggie bangers, and Spotted Dick).
GAW – As long as you’re not using the ginger beer trick on the guy at the same time…
ginger beer -> Ploughman’s pie? Not sure of the connection. Besides, I would trust the baker to have enough self-respect not to ruin the pie, to the point where I would accept food from such members of the public without a food taster.
Not the pie, the trick. One trick leads to another as the saying goes…
Guys, if you really want to impress your shidduch date, why don’t YOU bake HER cookies? Even if they don’t turn out well she’ll be super impressed by the effort.
I made wonderful meals (perhaps albeit ungapatchket) and that didn’t end up working. Guys, cook for your mothers and help make shabbos at home, or cook and bring food to share with your friends. Maybe you’ll win somebody over at a shabbat dinner with your desserts or entrees.
writersoul: I don’t think he should have the right to criticize at all, since he thinks his wife shouldn’t be able to criticize him.
“I made wonderful meals…and that didn’t end up working.”
Obviously there is no magic button or “fix” that will land you a shidduch. It is, though, generally impressive if a guy can cook.
Okay, so this is all nice in theory, but practically it would be really weird to randomly ask a girl to bake me cookies at a pegishah.
If girl baked me cookies and gave them to me on a date, I’d let her wear flats on the next date.
rationalfrummie- you don’t ask, you see if she does it on her own.
If she doesn’t, then
a) she doesn’t like to bake
b) she’s not a giving person
or
c) she doesn’t read the Yeshiva World Coffee Room. By far the most fair and logical assumption.
OOM: To be fair, his last sentence makes it seem like he wouldn’t be TOO devastated and heart-broken if someone told him his food needed salt :).
My thing was pretty much just meant in general.
writersoul
“WIY: If she ASKS for your opinion, then fine. But if you’re dating, and she thinks it’s going great, and she decides to take time out of her day to make you a batch of her favorite chocolate chip cookies, and you taste one and your first reaction is “too sweet,” then sorry, but that goes beyond honest critique. There’s a time and place for everything.”
Yes I agree I wouldn’t say it on the spot. But maybe at a later time I would say the something like, “I think your delicious cookies would taste even better with less sugar…”
OneOfMany
I am ok with my my wife giving me constructive criticism when necessary as long as its not too often and done tactfully. It is a wife’s job to be a “helpmate” according to our tradition. However if she berates her husband and is a nasty critical woman shes obviously not helping anybody.
ObstacleIllusion – u so funny! 😉
shatier.than.you – Thank you. I have to say though, I’d really only consider it and by that I mean I’d plan a date where she’d wear flipflops.
WIY: I know, you’re totally talking to Mademoiselle Marriage Expert here, but I don’t think that going into a marriage thinking like that is really going to get you anywhere.
The Chofetz Chaim (I believe) actually talks about the concept of eizer kenegdo. A wife is supposed to be an eizer, a helper, but also, when the husband needs it, she should be kenegdo, against him, if he is on the wrong path.
The words eizer kenegdo are by no means a permission slip to become the autocrat in the house and expect your wife to be nice and sweet to you if you aren’t EXACTLY the same to her.
And you’ll find that shalom bayis will be much greater if you don’t critique her food unless she asks/gives you permission.
WIY: No, dictating when and where and how the criticism can be rendered does not remove the double standard. What would is saying that she is equally open to to voice whatever constructive criticism she sees fit–as it establishes the SAME standard for both parties involved.
I think your problem here lies in your understanding of the term “constructive criticism.” You define both criticism being rendered and received in terms of only yourself–you get to decide the criteria for both. In reality, constructive criticism is a two way street. The person giving the criticism must be mindful that it is indeed constructive, and the person being criticized must be allowed to voice their opinion as what is constructive in terms of their needs. Saying that one side MUST (as a condition of marriage, as stated) be open to what the other party decides is constructive criticism sets a standard for something that cannot be called true constructive criticism.
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