girls lighting

GAW: If you can invent a Seif in Shulchan Aruch, I can erase it 😉

whatever helps their self-image and allows them to feel more fulfilled in their service of Hashem.

whatever helps their self-image and allows them to feel more fulfilled in their service of Hashem.

Well, that’s a novel concept in halacha.

Hello99:

You said 2 days ago:

Regarding a lack of Mehadrin; the Meiri, Shiltei Giborim and Magen Avraham all write that it is only necessary for adult children to light and not minors. There is no need to indicate the total number of people in the house to fulfill Mehadrin, only those obligated. The Mikraei Kodesh quoted above suggests that the same exemption should apply to girls and women.

And yesterday:

so there is no indication it requires girls either. I quoted this previously from the Meiri, Shiltei Giborim and Magen Avraham and Mikraei Kodesh.

So, sorry but the Shulchan Aruch does not say that girls must light to fulfill Mehadrin MIN HaMehadrin either.

OK, which one is it? Just the Mikraei Kodesh (which one!), or the Magen Avraham? I looked the the sif in SA and the Magen Avraham is silent on the matter. (I also saw the Pischei Olam quoting the Shilte Giborim explicitly that Men and Women both need to light).

I’ll admit that it is not “offen” in SA, as one could interpet “Benei Baiso” as males only (even though that is not the Pashtus, vs. those who are Mechuyav to light, which is more Mistaver). The MB certainly holds that girls light.

If you can find me the Magen Avraham that says women don’t have to light, and reads it into the SA, I will be Chozer. In the meantime, from what I see, both the SA & MB hold the women have to light for Mehadrin Min Hamehadrin.

I’m also going to ask for specific Marr’e Mekomos so I can look up these for myself.

pba- your inability to detect sarcasm is without equal.

You seem upset.

The ikkar is that women should be pregnant and in the kitchen, but not barefoot because it isn’t Tznius.

(See Toi, we have an affirmative action policy on sarcasm)

They were probably sarcastic in the Gemara Chagigah too, no?

Also, I assume the Shulchan Aruch you are referring to is 675:3. The Magen Avraham 4 explains (see Machatzis HaShekel) that it refers to when there is no man lighting. He understands the intention of the Shulchan Aruch is that she has no obligation to light when a man is already lighting. Certainly, there is no indication that one does not fulfill Mehadrin Min HaMehadrin otherwise.

hello99:

Hadri Bi (I’m Modeh).

Thank you for teaching me something new today.

yitayningwut: Which gemara in chagiga? There are 30 something blatt and I only know the first perek.

I stopped when I was thirteen and my menorah cracked. My mother offered to get me a new one and I decided not to for a few reasons. My sister stopped at twelve because she was the only girl in her class who still lit. Now my current twelve-year-old sister is still lighting and probably will keep lighting.

Is there more of a thing for boys to keep lighting on their own later than girls? I’m asking because in a family I know, the girls stopped at 13-14 and the boys still light on their own. I never asked them their case, but in your opinion, is it more of a boy thing or just specific to each person, no matter the gender?

yit- ayin shumm in tosfos. ain mochin.

While my daughter was in seminary a few years ago, she went with some girls to Rebbitzen Kanievsky a’h. It was during Chanukah, and they arrived just as R’ Chaim shlita was getting ready to light.

My daughter and her freinds were able to stand near the Rebiitzen in the doorway while R’ Chaim lit the menorah. After R’ Chaim lit, THE REBITTZEN LIT HER OWN MENORAH WITHOUT A BROCHO!!! We have photos of it at home. If Rebbitzen kanievsky could light, so can all other girls and women.

yit- li’aniyus da’ateich.

Noted

Hello yentingyenta,

I am a single woman coming to Judaism after discovering maternal family roots — no one else in my family is going down this path with me, so I am the only one to light. I am really anticipating these lightings, because to me, it seems almost like some kind of personal metaphor as well…I am beginning to shine the light of discovery into a family past obscured by darkness when my maternal grandmother and family left Germany between the World Wars for Brazil and eventually the USA. I have been piecing together the clues, shining light on them, and by doing so, I feel profoundly connected to my MomMom, who passed away when I was seven. I am reclaiming a part of my family history, welcoming it into the warm light of today, making sure that it is not snuffed out. I hope that you have a Chanukah full of light and joy 🙂

Hello yentingyenta,

Thank you for your kind words 🙂 It must be a beautiful sight to see young children’s faces lit up by the glow of the candles or oil. Such blessings!

Yenta,

Here is my perspective: There are many mitzvos that are forbidden to women, taboo or just “not done.” I prefer active mitzvos because I find they help me connect to the task at hand (specifically here, Chanuka, the history of it all, the miracles etc) and form a stronger bond with Hashem.

When I say the bracha to light, I feel connected to the Jewish chain of people who have done this for many generations. Why turn away the opportunity to do a mitzvah?

I always lit. I grew up in an all female household. We all lit. I always felt bad for my friends who were denied participating in this mitzvah.

As far as I know, there is no issur for women to light, Married women typically do not, because they and their husbands are considered as one. But there is no reason for the other female members of the household not to light, and it is mehudar for there to be several menorahs shining.

OOmis -“But there is no reason for the other female members of the household not to light, and it is mehudar for there to be several menorahs shining.”

OOmis -LOOk Up! Plenty of Shittos saying Women and Girls Should Not light and it isn’t Mehudar.

I personally – when I was married – gave my girls the choice, but not my wife. I think they lit until Bas Mitzva, but not after that.