Girls & Cellphones Yes/No?

Brooklyn19,

If you went off the derech mainly because you had a cellphone you are the exception (to say the least) not the rule.

Brooklyn19,

If somone dosnt have other issues (such as abuse or bad freinds ect. ect.) with yiddishkeit, generaly a cellphone would not turn them off to yiddishkeit.

To say that cellphones are the problem is missing the point in the vast majority of cases.

000, From the Gedolim.

“Rabbosai, Cell phones and children is a large part of why Kids go off the derech and the teens at risk issue.

You are playing with fire. If you give your kids phones now, don’t cry later when they C’V become ”at risk” and R’L go off the derech. “

With all due respect, in my opinion that is just plain not true. I have known kids who went off the derech who NEVER had a cell phone. They went off the derech because people were extremely judgmental of their not fitting into a typical frum mold. Not every kid is made for sitting for hours at a time learning Gemarah, but that is not a reason to throw him away. Not every girl wants to be a Bais Yaakov girl. She can still be a perfectly wonderful and observant, NON-Bais Yaakov girl. MY friend’s daughter has had a phone all through her high school years. She could not be more ON the derech than she is. Her sister is the same. So are all the wonderful young women I know in my neighborhood. The cell phones did not put them at risk, but they did keep them safe when the carpool failed to show up and they were waiting outside and needed a ride home. It kept them safe when their car broke down on an isolated part of the highway (should they not drive, also?).

Anytime one generalizes, one risks being shown that he is mistaken. SOME kids who are at risk for any number of reasons, use their phones for less than noble utilitarian reasons. But those same kids would find a way to accomplish the same goals, with or without a cell phone of their own. Don’t advocate throwing the baby out with the bathwater. If you want to really know what pushes kids off the derech, my son, who B”H is sufficiently grounded in his religious upbringing to have not been adversely affected, went on his lunchbreak to chaap a mincha at a Yeshivah near us, as his workday would otherwise result in his missing a minyan anywhere else. He was dressed very casually, coming from a job working with children, which involved wearing non-Shabbosdig clothing. He was wearing chino pants and an izod-type shirt. The minyan is open to the public. The menahel actually came over to him and embarrassingly told him to leave. He was not messy or unkempt, just dressed in something other than a yeshivish white shirt and black pants. Instead of considering the fact that it was so choshuv to my son to daven Mincha in a minyan that he made sure to not miss it, they threw him out. If it were anyone else, or someone who is on the fence, they could have lost a yiddishe neshama. Instead of castigating kids for all the reasons why they go off the deredch and attributing those reasons to the evils of the internet and the cell phone, let’s look inside ourselves and see why many of our frum neshamas are deciding it isn’t worth it, because they will NEVER be good enough, in the opinion of some frum Jews, no matter what frumkeit they observe.

wolf – yes the combination makes it a much more dangerous object.

I’m not so certain that I agree with you, but that’s neither here nor there, I suppose. Ce la vie.

The Wolf

By the way for those of u that charge ur cell over ur bed, it is really not safe. There is a lot of radiation let out. Try to find another outlet.

Brooklyn19,

If a kid wants to go off the derech having a cell phone may possibly make it easier for them to go off

However it is not (at least in the vast vast majority of cases) the reason why they want to go off and once they want to go off you not getting them a phone isnt going to change the situation they will do it anyway even if it is a little harder.

It would help alot more to change whatever it is that actualy makes kids want to go off instead of concentrating on things like cell phones wich dont.

Should Wolfish Musings be given a blog? Is he capable of using the technology responsibly? For that matter, should WE be given (this) blog? I personally vote no (as I did when YWN polled its readers). I think maybe tomorrow I will start a thread about what value the CR has served in the past 6 months. I just need to get my thoughts together.

joseph – i gotta agree with 646 on that last post. not that anyone’s going to actually do things that way, but it is probably idealistic.

oh and 646 – i didn’t agree with the entire post. only the part about looking into what makes kids go off. (you can probably spend every second of your life on that one and not even come close to the answer. there is no answer.) you know how i feel about cell phones. just wanted to clarify that.

Bottom line is that cell phones do make things more accessible for kids. Some kids rather than going out to do bad things have it in their hands, during school or at home. Lets say even if it does not make kids go “off the d” it does cause kids to do bad things that they would not have done. there is a difference between talking and texting, so years ago girls would not think of talking on the phone to a boy, but now its like come on its just a text message. number one it seems in your head smaller than an actual call, secondly, noone will ever know and thirdly, you come to saying things that are crossing the line that even if spoken to on a phone you would not feel right saying.

ever tried to count how many different blogs there are? every person has their own story to tell. there are basic ideas that include most situations. but every person is unique and had their own way of thinking. there are no rules.

Joseph wrote – “Rabbosai, Cell phones and children is a large part of why Kids go off the derech and the teens at risk issue.

You are playing with fire. If you give your kids phones now, don’t cry later when they C’V become ”at risk” and R’L go off the derech.”

With all due respect, I think that is a blanket statement without evident merit and is myopic. Kids go off the derech for a host of reasons and the final decision to take that step could have been triggered by 1,001 stimuli.

oomis, I’m very saddened by that story but glad that your son was strong enough not to let it bother him too much.

Joseph, I’m sure you tried your best, but I don’t think there is any respectful way of accusing someone of immaturity.

I wonder if there was a subconscious reason to title this thread “Girls and Cell Phones” rather than boys or teens in general. Is the implication that the answer might be different for boys?

Text messaging is an add-on; for those who are concerned about their children texting, they don’t have to pay for the texting package. If all the phone does is support incoming and outgoing calls, what’s wrong with it? For those parents who are still uneasy, I’d like to know if they let their children use the home phone. If so, do they let them use it without a parent hovering over their shoulder? So if the teens can have private conversations from the house, what’s the difference in having private conversations out of the house?

I don’t see anything wrong with text messaging, but then again I also don’t see anything wrong with boys and girls talking to each other. For those who do not want their children to mix with the other gender, perhaps it is more of an issue.

-SJSinNYC

you are right it all has to do with the kid. The same thing is with a kid driving. There are some kids who you would trust at 15 and those that you wouldn’t trust even when they get to be 23. Same thing with getting married. some 25 year olds are still babies. It depends on the kid. Every kid matures at a different rate and you just have to know your kids.

-wolfishmusings

Well at least you know someone agrees with you. I just had to say my feelings on the matter.

Thank You chasid-of-Hashem.

I just want everyone to feel at home. 🙂

postsem

not all girls shreik. you seem to have the tendency, though (the CAPITALIZATION alluded to that) anyway, have you ever heard a guy shreik? ever??? lol their vocal chords don’t go that high.

and yeah, you’re right about the texting though. same thing.

It’s spelled SHRIEK people…Lol it looks so funny spelled wrongly…Don’t you remember your 1st grade lessons- “I before E except after C”….

-beacon

How long ago were you in first grade. I was there a long time ago. sorry don’t remember.

-brooklyn

there were a lot of kids in my sem from brooklyn. why do you hope not?

and btw beacon – there are so many exceptions to the rule that it’s not really a rule anymore.

postsemgirl- I’m your age but I rem. my spelling..jk 🙂

I’m cracking up from this ridiculous thread!

O and glad to entertain you 🙂

lol use firefox – you get a spell-check. (now why in HEAVEN’S name is the word firefox underlined in red??? lol maybe they want it to be more chashuv by capitalizing it…)

anyway, my sem didn’t have so many girls from brooklyn. and i don’t think i’m the same age as you. where’s you go to sem? (if you don’t wanna answer you can be very general – like “nevey campus” or “har nof” or “bayit ve’gan” etc. or you can not answer!)

lol look a the list of exceptions in there! and btw i still can’t spell jewish last names. they switch the “e”s and “i”s all the time!