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Now that the yomim tovim are coming which mean many happy family meals… Anyone have good suggestions on getting the kids to behave (sit nicely & sing along etc) ?
Have 2 meals! One for children 7 and under before the men come home, put them to sleep, then have a nice meal without all the little ones screaming….
?ns ?o suo?????do ?o p??? pu? ‘??p???? ‘??puno? ???
(319bu?ddo?s) 319[$]
[$]613 (Shopping613)
The Founder, Awarder, and Head of Operations of SUC
Before anyone can give you some reasonable advice, you have to answer this very important question:
How old are the kids?
The Wolf
I don’t agree with your goal. I don’t think there is much positive served by getting kids to sit nicely at the table. If they want to run around, or read a book, let them go. It’s boring for them.
Why do kids have to sit at the table? If they are young and have already eaten let them play as long as they come back to bentch.
Its very hard to have a meal with 7 kids all under the age of 10……..
?ns ?o suo?????do ?o p??? pu? ‘??p???? ‘??puno? ???
(319bu?ddo?s) 319[$]
[$]613 (Shopping613)
The Founder, Awarder, and Head of Operations of SUC
the point is to make it NOT boring. Prepare a great story about Shabbos/Rosh HaShana for the seuda, and make the simanim interesting,
VERY IMPORTANT – SING SONGS THAT THE KIDS KNOW!! you can sing other songs later, but have them start a song that they learned in school. If they DO want to sit on the couch and read let them but if you ask them questions about school, or shabbos or yom tov, and get them involved then you know youre on the right track. sing fun songs. tell them a funny/cony joke or story with funny faces that they will laugh, and have them enjoy Shabbos/Yom Tov on THEIR level, not YOUR level.
warning: don’t slip booze in their cups. it’s tempting sometimes, but, hey, it’s Rosh Hashanah time…
Like Wolf said- hard to say without knowing ages of kids. But this might work for you with little ones: Try to have them stay in the dining room, or general area where you’re having the meal, instead of trying to keep them sitting in their seats. You can decide when they can leave the table- after Kiddush, after Hamotzi, after the 1st course… Playing in a corner is ok, as long as they’re in the vicinity of your table. That way they can join in the zemiros, the conversation, the meal, as they wish, and not get bored & fidgety. You”ll be able to relax (hopefully) instead of interrupting yourself every two minutes to get them to sit still. The kids will absorb more than you think from the general festive atmosphere, and not feel grumpy and put upon.
each kid is different. each one should be treated appropriately.
just let them be kids– if you were that age you would behave that way- Maybe ASK your kids what they want to do? maybe switch off each meal with another kid to be a shabbos ‘tatty’ or mommy, maybe let them make kiddush in additino to you….
or are you embarrassed of your kids because your in-laws, or other guests are coming??? remember kids will be kids…. you cant change it…
BaalHaBooze posted exactly what I wanted to post. Make the meal INTERESTING – not just during Yom Tov but all year round.
I would just add, encourage the ones who are old enough – 7 or 8 – to say over something that they learned – about the parsha, holiday, etc. Don’t criticize them if they don’t say everything correctly, but give them a chance to be heard as well.
Hey Baal Habooze are you breaking out the mead for Rosh Hashana?
BaalHabooze, I think your idea is great — your words really convey a deep love and joy in children, like seeing things through their eyes with freshness and wonder! For the OP with that wide age range of children, I can only imagine how tricky it is to come up with the various things that will catch the interest of all.
They outgrow being roudy. Then you’ll find Shabbos to dull, but not to worry, children who are grown up enough to act like mentsches, mean grandchildren (and payback time, you can tell them about how their parents were even more wild).
If you involve them in the conversations and make sure they participate, it isn’t so difficult. Singing helps alot, but it must START with songs they know and like.
I know in my house, my younger siblings fight a lot. But if at the start of the meal everybody is still in a good mood, and we start singing, it gets everybody calm — I have some very musical brothers, and as long as they start singing, they don’t stop, and we have beautiful meals. Then, when my father says a Dvar Torah, they start bickering — and the trick is to begin the Torah by asking them a question, and listen to their answer or wait until they are stumped before starting YOUR torah. That get’s them interested. It always works — and they aren’t calm to start with!!!
(My younger siblings are aged 13, 9, 7)
Put some Ritalin into the kid’s gefilte fish.
What a perfect solution!?!?! Drug them up, you could promise them a sip of bartenura at the next meal if they behave at the current meal.
There are two parts to your question: How do you get the younger kids to participate and how do you keep the older ones interested.
Can the older ones help out by previewing parsha sheets with the younger ones (those sheets are NOT a test!) and giving the kids rides by the zemiros? Some kids like to.
Definitely give younger kids break time. They can go play and you’ll call them back. You can give them break time between each course!
R. Pesach Krohn says that in order to have a successful Shabbos meal the father needs prep time. What is his Dvar Torah? What is his story (we can start a new thread for book recommendations)? Does he have any hashkafa issues he wants to discuss? Does he have a sefer that he learns a little from every meal (we can start a new thread for recommendations)?
I would start a behavior system for the fighting. It can be special Shabbos treat for good behavior, or a check after Shabbos which can be used to buy a prize.
Good luck! Before you know it the kids will be bigger and you’ll wonder where all the noise is!
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