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What is the benefit of getting a doula for childbirth — if any?
This is kind of creepy coming from a male screenname.
Sometimes doctors and nurses are busy, they aren’t always there. If you want someone to be with you at all times, and not only your husband, but a woman, and haven’t hired a midwife, that is one excellent reason to use a doula.
DHM: Right, and GIYF.
I’m not sure that I agree. I gave birth in America x3 and in Israel x3. In America I was able to have my sister be there with me. The nurse was basically the only one in the room for the vast majority of the labor and the doctor only came in when I was really ready to deliver. In Israel, there was a midwife and the doctor came in to observe the actual delivery. I had no family who could be with me and my husband was not going to be in the room under any circumstances once things really got going. I did not want him to see me in pain and he couldn’t touch me any way, so what’s the point. I did, however, want someone, who could hold my hand, run and scream for the doctor/nurse or someone to help me when I ran into some problems, etc. A doula knows how to work with the staff in the hospital – you can ask which hospitals the doula has worked with before (if you are taking a frum one versus one that works only with the hospital you are going to). They are also available to help you at home beforehand, which can mean less time spent at the hospital as they will not likely tell you to run there before it appears to be necessary. You can call them when you think things are starting and they can assess the situation even on the phone and give you advice or decide to come over and evaluate more thoroughly.
In short, I strongly recommend doulas no matter what kind of person is going to be delivering your baby. It is in your wife’s best interest (I am assuming Dovid HaMelech is a man).
Another benefit is that no matter how much you have educated yourselves, during childbirth your head isn’t fully there and if the dr recommends something that is in his best interest and bad for you (ie for insurance purposes, because he’s lazy, etc) the doula will make sure your needs come first. Also, if you want to go naturally, the doula teaches techniques how to make it go as smoothly as possible and will be there with the woman to keep her calm. If your wife is pushing for a doula get it for her.
I can’t believe what I read in this thread. The dr recommends what is in his best interest and bad for you? because he is lazy? That must be why he graduated medical school, he was too lazy to drop out. And what about “doctors and nurses are busy”, yeah guess what! Are busy assisting us! Integral I thought you said you are 14yr old, I am curious about your knowledge about labour and childbirth, can’t help wondering where does it come from.
Dear OP, use that money for a cleaning lady, take-away restaurants meals, and some nice gifts to your wife, after she has given birth and left the hospital.
I think that Doulas are instead of Mommy..
There are some Jewish Doulas that travel to a patient on Shabbos, some even go long distance, I really do not know how that is permitted.
Daniela I’m with you. What is this attitude towards doctors? They go through what, 12 years of school and training before delivering children on their own, and you’re telling us our trust better lay with a doula who has minimal training and not equipped to deal with emergencies in the same way? Now I’m not trying to know a doula, if you can afford one, why not. But in America they aren’t so necessary. I went through natural childbirth, I had my husband in the delivery room, there were 2 nurses and all times and my doctor came in and out over the 14 hours I was in labor then again for the final 2 when it was realy happening. I don’t think having someone there undermining the doctor at every turn Is the answer.
2scents: I assume it’s permitted because they asked a Rav, and were told it’s allowed. I have a cousin who is a doula, and I once saw her answer her phone on Shabbos, and then run out to drive to the hospital.
I did hear that a member of the Eidah Chareidis in Israel allows a doula to travel to the hospital on Shabbos.
I did a quick search, and found the following reason (and please note that I am not a posek, this is just a reason I found!): the Gemara says it’s allowed to light a lamp for a woman in labor on Shabbos, even if it’s not medically necessary. The Mishna Berurah says the reason is that a woman in labor needs peace of mind, and if she doesn’t have it, it’s considered pikuach nefesh.
When a woman has hired a doulah, and the doulah isn’t able to attend the delivery, it falls into the category of the peace of mind of the woman. Therefore, as with the lamp, chillul Shabbos is not only allowed, but is required, as in any case of pikuach nefesh.
Of course, you do thigns with a shinuy – like arranging before Shabbos to have a car service on standby. I did read that a doulah told her Rav that because she waited for the cab to come, she missed the delivery, and her patient was extremely upset about it. Her Rav then gave her permission to drive herself.
I know that I was in a shiur when I was in Yeshiva, given by R’ Yaakov Reisman (from Far Rockaway), and he said that if it’s difficult to arrange for a cab when your wife is in her 9th month, there is no problem with driving yourself.
Doctors and doulas serve different purposes. It isn’t undermining your doctor to have someone else on your birthing team. Some women have a mother or sister who can stay with them (logistics and personalities work) and for those women, that’s great. That isn’t always an option, and a doula who has had her own children and/or has participated in other births can help the laboring mother in ways her husband can’t.
By the way, midwives don’t all share the same philosophies and styles. Some are more “medically” inclined while others are more “natural.” Don’t make assumptions – ask.
B’sha’a tova!
100% worth getting one. There are hospitals where the midwives will not present all the time if they are very busy and will spend their time going from room to room and will sometimes leave the woman on her own. I know someone who’s midwife went out the room thinking she still had time to go, the baby came out and had the cord wrapped around it’s neck and because she was on her own and it wasnt removed immediately on delivery the baby suffered from lack of oxygen and is now severely brain damaged.
Obviously that it is an extreme story, but these things happen and a woman should never ever be left on her own during labour. Besides for the fact that the midwives are not always able to be there emotionally for the woman and emotional support during such a difficult time is very important which is why i think a doula is so important. If someone can’t afford a doula and can take a family member instead then that’s also ok but there should always be someone who will accompany and be there at all times.
From my own experience, I was told beforehand i’d need the doctors in the room during my labour and delivery because of a known complication and when i got to the hospital and the labour started progressing fast I kept asking where the doctors were, and all i got from the midwives was they’re busy they’ll be here soon. It was very worrying as they were supposed to be there already and this was where my doula came in very handy – she realised how important it was that the doctors be there and threatened to press the emergency button if they didn’t call the doctors immediately – I probably would have just continued worrying but relied on the midwives – something i shouldnt have had to do as it was complicated delivery and the midwives were not experienced at all. So because of my doula the doctors came immediately and bh all went smoothly.
Are we talking about Israel or in America? I was speaking about America. I have heard in Israel the doctor is not in the room until the last minutes of pushing, and that in israel doulas ( along with their midwives) are more common. When I ( in ny) was in labor I wasn’t left alone for even a few minutes.
Dovid HaMelech – the women that I know that had a doula at childbirth are the ones whose husbands walk out of the room during delivery, therefore they dont want to be left alone. Doctores and nurses are there for the physical need, a husband or doula is there for emotional need and ice chips.
If your wife wants one, find out why. Is it because she feels you wont be there for her.
DaMoshe,
I dont know how you can compare the Husband driving to a doula.
I have heard a shiur in which the posek stated that there is no heter for a doula to drive, she may go along with the patient. unless the patient specifies that she really wants THIS doula and she really needs it. Otherwise the doula may not be mechallel shabbos.
On a side note, doulas can get in the way especially if the delivery happens at home the doulas think that they are as qualified as the medics and usually act nastily towards the medics and EMTs. I have experienced this more than once.
Can someone tell me what a doula is ? translation please?
Similar to a labor coach.
Someone that keep the women distracted while the doctor is doing his work.. (just kidding!)
I don’t see why having a doula requires that the doctor be a bad person. Sometimes, even if the doctor means well, he has concerns, conscious or subconscious, which don’t align with the interests of the particular woman at the particular time of childbirth. This is true especially when a doctor is running in and out and the woman has not given birth twelve times before. One needn’t hate doctors to envision a role for someone who is educated and experienced in the birthing process, who can serve as a personal resource for the mother.
2scents -“On a side note, doulas can get in the way especially if the delivery happens at home the doulas think that they are as qualified as the medics and usually act nastily towards the medics and EMTs. I have experienced this more than once.”
And actually some of them do know more than EMS -some have gone through childbirth training. This is another reason “Ezras Noshim” org. makes sense.
2scents: Because according to the Mishna Berurah, the peace of mind of the mother is a matter of pikuach nefesh, just as getting her to the hospital is.
As for the psak you heard, that’s fine – if that was your posek, follow that psak. There is likely a machlokes in this matter, and everyone should follow their posek.
Health, some do and some do not.
Doulas usually are NOT trained to deliver, Paramedics and EMTs are trained to deliver and resuscitate the newborn if needed, resuscitate is what they do on a normal basis.
Midwives call us to be on standby in case there are any complications. .
Bored214 -“100% worth getting one. There are hospitals where the midwives will not present all the time if they are very busy and will spend their time going from room to room and will sometimes leave the woman on her own. I know someone who’s midwife went out the room thinking she still had time to go, the baby came out and had the cord wrapped around it’s neck and because she was on her own and it wasnt removed immediately on delivery the baby suffered from lack of oxygen and is now severely brain damaged.”
I’m not going to quote your whole post, but I think your attitude is extremely Poor! I happen to agree to one thing -having a Doula is a nice thing. It’s not 100% necessary, but it’s nice to have one. Can e/o afford one? -Probably not.
And your two cases of where a Doula would have or did make a difference are by far Not the norm. Esp. in the case I quoted -the midwife or Doc or PA, doesn’t have to be in the room with you all the time -you aren’t paying them that much for that. It seems that it was the nurse that was negligent, because they are the ones who are constantly with the pt., even though they go in and out -noone has to be there every single second, not even a doula.
Btw, did these two cases occur in countries where they have Socialized medicine?
Nechomah -“I had no family who could be with me and my husband was not going to be in the room under any circumstances once things really got going.”
The husband is allowed to be in the room upto delivery and during delivery he can be behind a curtain in the room.
Thank you so much 2scents.
Danielle, 2scents, Morah Rach and others who think a doula is just an extra:
A doula is not just instead of mommy there. It also doesn’t mean that the husband isn’t there throughout the entire birth.
You’ll be surprised how many drs don’t care very much about their patients, and put their own time and convenience before the patient’s.
A doula is there to offer her professionalism and knowledge which drs wont bother giving you, to help with special exercises and techniques to make the woman in labor more comfortable, to guide you while in labor still at home, and then in the hospital, and to be there as a support in addition to husband.
Many women, myself included, would never give birth without a doula, for very good reasons.
But since this is a weird discussion here on a board with men included, I don’t think it’s very appropo to discuss at length, especially of OP is just asking for conversation purposes.
“Torah613Torah”: This is kind of creepy coming from a male screenname.
“smartcookie”: But since this is a weird discussion here on a board with men included, I don’t think it’s very appropo to discuss at length, especially if OP is just asking for conversation purposes.
…or prurient ones.
Look who the OP is. This is a far cry from the “tznius” threads that he used to frequent.
It’s always possible the OP was a legit nogeiah le’maseh question – but use your own judgement.
Closing
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