Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Funny Shidduch Stories
Tagged: LOL, Shidduchim, Stories
- This topic has 1,483 replies, 306 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 12 months ago by ☕️coffee addict.
-
AuthorPosts
-
May 8, 2009 3:39 am at 3:39 am #1226764BasYisroel2Participant
anonymisss-
I know the answer is about the mets
I was refering in my previous post to when you said “BY, good answer” – Which B”Y?
, BYM and I agreed That people should specify to whom they are posting to otherwise it gets to complicated!
Kapusta on the other hand refers to me as B”Y which is fine!
You can post whatever you want I just wanted to know who you were refering to!
May 8, 2009 3:57 am at 3:57 am #1226765JaxMemberBasYisroel2: hilarious story with the car crash couple getting married! i went back to read cause earlier it was too long to read!
May 8, 2009 3:06 pm at 3:06 pm #1226766Dr. PepperParticipantAnother strategy is to “lose” (or be the one to find) a siddur while at Amukah. Then when the finder calls you ask him/her out. (Did anyone else hear of this one?)
May 8, 2009 3:38 pm at 3:38 pm #1226767anonymisssParticipantDr. Pepper, lol! yes, i heard that story. I should’ve tried it when I was there 3 months ago.;)
~a~
May 8, 2009 5:37 pm at 5:37 pm #1226768JaxMemberDr. Pepper: that’s a good one! ever heard, that since putting up the new Amukah michitza, there’s been less schidduchim happen from there?!
May 8, 2009 6:57 pm at 6:57 pm #1226769kapustaParticipantwe should start a thread for the hashgacha pratis in shidduchim, some of them come about in the oddest ways.
May 8, 2009 7:06 pm at 7:06 pm #1226770oomisParticipantI think mechitzos are often counter-productive. People (meaning males and females) need time and space to speak to each other. A simcha is a great environment to do so.
May 10, 2009 3:59 am at 3:59 am #1226771Bais Yaakov maydelParticipantlol they prob can see thru all the single people.
oh and just for the record i totally lied to that guy. im a massive yankee fan.
May 10, 2009 4:16 am at 4:16 am #1226772Pashuteh YidMemberOne story a girl once told me on a date: Her father was instructing her and her brothers around the dining room table about proper dating procedure. He told her brothers that because dinner is expensive, the first few dates you should only go out for drinks or some free activity. It is not necessary to go to a restaurant. If you really like the girl after a number of times, then you should go out for a full meal.
He then turned to his daughter and told her that any guy who doesn’t have the basic decency to take you out to a restaurant for a full meal on the first date, is some kind of inconsiderate cheapskate and not for you, and you should drop him right away.
May 10, 2009 5:04 am at 5:04 am #1226773oomisParticipantIt would be funny if this were really a true story. It sounds like a variation on the mother who is going on and on about her terribly, lazy daughter-in-law, who sleeps till noon, forced her poor son to hire a maid, and makes her husband wash the dishes every night. But her SON-in-LAW – what a tzaddik! He lets her daughted sleep until noon every day, hired a maid for her, and insists on washing the dishes every night.
May 10, 2009 11:36 pm at 11:36 pm #1226774Dr. PepperParticipantmoish01- this story is for you.
Getting back to the pressure thing-
This story goes back to early 2001.
The shadchan is one of the most dreaded shadchanim (if the not the most) amongst my friends. Just the sight of her number on the caller ID sent terror into the toughest guys. (To her credit, according to my wife, most girls consider her a savior.)
One particular girl got my name from somewhere and put this shadchan to work on getting me to go out with her. I never answered when she called so the shadchan called my parents and eventually resorted to other methods of pressure (which is not the scope of this thread). At one point I had agreed to go out with a different girl and I thought that the pressure would end. But no! The shadchan told the girl and she actually flew out to where my date lived while I was there. The shadchan called my parents to let me know that she’ll be on standby just in case it doesn’t work out. (My date didn’t work out and I wasn’t about to take her out so she just flew home.)
About two months later I buckled under the pressure and agreed to go out. (Some friends in yeshiva begged me just to get the shadchan off their backs.) The shadchan calls back and says that the girl wants to go out on Sunday, April 29th 2001.
I told the shadchan that I simply can’t go out on that day since I have a Computer Science project due midnight that night and I was planning on doing it on Sunday. But the shadchan informed me that since the girl is flying in for the date she gets to decide when we go out. And besides, she already booked the ticket and it will cost $25 to change.
So I planned the nerdiest date in the hopes that she will say NO.
Comes April 29th, I pick her up and she says “so, where are you taking me?”. I bit my tongue and said with a straight face “Well today the Bronx-Whitestone Bridge turns 62 so I thought we’d go to Francis Lewis Park at the base of the bridge and celebrate”.
“Sounds good I love bridges.”
Oh no, what do I do? It’s too late to apply for a change of venue (is that what lawyers call it?).
We get off The Van Wyck Expressway and she says “Yippee, a suspension bridge! I love suspension bridges”. So I bring out the cake and soda and apologize for not having a cake with 62 candles which she said was fine. I then pointed out how bad I felt for the bridge, pointing at all the cars crossing her and not a single one stops to show some gratitude by wishing her a happy birthday. (She sympathised with the bridge.)
She then started asking all kinds of questions about the bridge and her history which I made sure to give long detailed answers to. (There was a massive reconstruction project that was to start in the next few months and I learned all about it in a engineering class I was taking.)
She then asked me what other bridges were in the area so I took her to a lookout where we saw the George Washington Bridge and I told her that about a mile and a half to the east is the Throgs Neck Bridge and she asked if we could walk there. (We did.)
After the date, when I dropped her off at the place she was staying, she said “Thank you so much, I had such a good time. I was never so close to a suspension bridge before, I only hear about them in stories from my uncle, they don’t have any where I live.”
Oh well, at least I tried.
May 11, 2009 12:16 am at 12:16 am #1226775anonymisssParticipantDr. Pepper, N-I-C-E T-R-Y!
~a~
May 11, 2009 4:34 am at 4:34 am #1226776JaxMemberDr. Pepper: ha another winner post for you pal! keep em coming!
May 11, 2009 6:48 pm at 6:48 pm #1226777Mayan_DvashParticipantDr Pepper, that’s almost too hard to believe! ;
May 11, 2009 8:10 pm at 8:10 pm #1226778areivimzehlazehParticipantgeek squad alert!
May 11, 2009 8:13 pm at 8:13 pm #1226779squeakParticipantSounds like she played you, Dr.
May 13, 2009 3:37 pm at 3:37 pm #1226780Dr. PepperParticipantanonymisss-
You can’t say I didn’t try!
ames-
Sure, that’s why I took her out again.
Jax-
Thanks, now let’s hear some of yours.
Mayan_Dvash-
Some of these thing just can’t be made up.
(Part of the reason why I didn’t mention the pressure tactics or what happened on the second, and last, date was that then it would have been too hard to believe!)
areivimzehlazeh-
Sure, send them my way.
squeak-
For her sake I sincerely hope she did.
Not sure where this fits into the story but on one of the dates she told me that her father will not allow Internet access into the house and her boss blocks it at work. Every so often she asks her boss to unblock it so she can download updates for the programs she uses. While the block is lifted she quickly checks onlysimchas to see which guys she dated are engaged.
Some time after I dated her some guy from yeshiva tried setting me up with her. He said he knew the family very well since when a family member of his (from the same city as her) was sick and he went to be with them, her father let him hang out there to keep up with his college work. According to this guy, the family had 3 computers with cable Internet connection. (This was back in 2001 when, in general, having “Internet” meant using dial-up for AOL.)
May 13, 2009 4:40 pm at 4:40 pm #1226781Mayan_DvashParticipantDr. Pepper, C”V I wasn’t questioning the veracity of the story. I wonder if (like one of the previous posters suggested) the girl was thinking along the same lines. What a geek! I’ll make believe I’m interested.
May 13, 2009 5:17 pm at 5:17 pm #1226782Ish52MemberHeres a funny story my friend asked his date what she wanted to do and she said she wanted to go skydiving he dint know if she was joking but they found some place online taht wasnt too expensive and they went skydiving and he proposed on the way down but she had passed out so she didnt hear the proposal! lol baruch hashem they got married
May 13, 2009 9:50 pm at 9:50 pm #1226783believerParticipanthey heres a goood story- a man went on a date- apparently he was very stingy- this goes back 20 years when boys didnt drive at 18 and cars were a hard and expensive thing to get to, so this boy ordered a car service for the date. so they go on the date, to a a park and right away he realizes shes really not for him, not wanting to waste money he took her home on the train!!!
May 13, 2009 9:54 pm at 9:54 pm #1226784isherMemberI had some real great laughs reading this thread.
My husband once dated a girl that wanted to show him who would be the one wearing the pants in the house. I believe it was on the second or third date when she started to discuss things like: which Kollel he will be attending – and all the details and pros about this Kollel. If I recall correctly she even had it down to the number of years he would be learning. Which music won’t be allowed in the house – (I believe singers like MBD were mentioned) with full reasoning. About smoking,,, and some other things that I can’t recall. My husband knew that no way was he gonna let the woman wear the pants in his house. As for me, I prefer skirts.
May 13, 2009 11:47 pm at 11:47 pm #1226785JaxMemberisher: hey welcome to the cr! yes, this is a great thread!
Ish52: that is hilarious! & welcome to the cr!
May 14, 2009 12:52 am at 12:52 am #1226786Dr. PepperParticipantOne of my brothers told me that when guys from his yeshiva would take Brooklyn girls to Manhattan on a date they would take the [Brooklyn Battery] tunnel on the way there but use one of the bridges on the way back (to save $3.50 at that time) if they knew they were going to say no. I guess if the girls knew about this it would give them a heads up that the royal “D” is about to come.
This story was also going around his yeshiva but no one knew who it happened to (or if it is true at all).
Guy is talking and quotes the Yated. Girl asks, “How are you able to read the Yated if you’re supposed to be in the Beis Medrash whenever you have a free second, and you can’t bring the Yated into the bathroom?”
Guy answers, “When I go out with girls like you I’m back earlier than expected. I’m afraid to show my face in the Beis Medrash, so I go to my room. There are no seforim in my room since I’m supposed to be in the Beis Medrash whenever I have a free second. So I read the Yated…”
May 14, 2009 1:40 am at 1:40 am #1226787JaxMemberDr. Pepper: ha that’s a great one!
my sister once went out on a date with a guy that for over an hour spoke about the Yated article ”Parsha for those in the Parsha”!
May 14, 2009 3:11 am at 3:11 am #1226788oomisParticipantMy husband once dated a girl that wanted to show him who would be the one wearing the pants in the house. I believe it was on the second or third date when she started to discuss things like: which Kollel he will be attending – and all the details and pros about this Kollel. If I recall correctly she even had it down to the number of years he would be learning. Which music won’t be allowed in the house – (I believe singers like MBD were mentioned)
That is not wearing the pants – that is a control freak.
May 14, 2009 8:20 pm at 8:20 pm #1226789areivimzehlazehParticipant“When I go out with girls like you I’m back earlier than expected. I’m afraid to show my face in the Beis Medrash, so I go to my room. There are no seforim in my room since I’m supposed to be in the Beis Medrash whenever I have a free second. So I read the Yated…”
that is the best I’ve ever heard!!!
May 15, 2009 2:23 pm at 2:23 pm #1226790Dr. PepperParticipantareivimzehlazeh-
It’s definitely a good one but I still have my doubts that it’s true.
Stories like this happen because girls have no idea what goes on (or is supposed to go on) in yeshivas. One girl asked me why anyone would want to be a dorm counselor if that meant that three nights a week he wouldn’t be able to learn in the Beis Medrash after 10:45 P.M. I explained that some guys, even serious ones, who put in a full day of learning just don’t have the strength to learn after night seder. I was dreading the question as to how late I stay in the Beis Medrash every night but it never came.
It’s a two way street though. After a shadchan once scolded me saying, “How could you say no to her? Do you know that she was almost picked for G.O. in 11th grade?”, I was determined to find out exactly what G.O. is. None of the dates that I asked gave me a good answer except my wife. “G.O. is a waste of time which is why everyone likes it. Imagine you’re in a boring class, there’s a knock on the door and some students come in singing and dancing- think of what a relief it brings”. (By the way, my wife never ran for G.O. but that’s not what made the shidduch, we didn’t get engaged until a few dates later. She did agree with me though that I was correct in not reconsidering my decision based on her almost being voted G.O.)
May 15, 2009 2:45 pm at 2:45 pm #1226791moish01Memberwhat the heck is G.O.?
May 15, 2009 2:46 pm at 2:46 pm #1226792squeakParticipantThank you, Dr. P! I have heard the phrase “G.O.” and “G.O. Head” bandied about countless times, but I never knew what in the world it meant.
May 15, 2009 2:50 pm at 2:50 pm #1226793anonymisssParticipantmoish ask ur sis
~a~
:}
May 15, 2009 2:53 pm at 2:53 pm #1226794Dr. PepperParticipantGeneral Office
May 15, 2009 2:58 pm at 2:58 pm #1226795anonowriterParticipantGO is basically a student extracurricular head. In different schools it takes different means to become GO. Sometimes, it means that your fellow students picked you to run for GO, which means you’re popular amongst the student-folk. Sometimes, the faculty picks a girl as GO, no campaigning involved. That means that the faculty loves you. 🙂
And yes, in most schools, it means how much class can you and the rest of the school miss. This being the case, a GO head is usually a good, intelligent student, who can keep up with the work regardless of how many hours of class she has missed. Two of my sisters were GO heads. And yes, they are both great, wonderful people. (But so am I, and I wasn’t GO. LOL)
May 15, 2009 2:59 pm at 2:59 pm #1226796oomisParticipantGeneral Organization, the student council is referred to as The G.O., and
it was a group of students (usually the most popular, but sometimes the president actually deserved the title) who lobbied for perks for the students, planned school events and fund-raisers, and made an annoyance of themselves by getting out of class frequently, ostensibly to take care of “important matters.”
May 15, 2009 3:05 pm at 3:05 pm #1226797moish01Membersounds like camp to me. i gotta ask my sister when she comes home from school.
:}
May 15, 2009 3:19 pm at 3:19 pm #1226798moish01Memberlike i said: camp.
May 15, 2009 3:21 pm at 3:21 pm #1226799moish01Memberwait, ames did you say that because YOU were a G.O. girl when you were in school?
(hey i think she went out with Dr. Pepper, guys!)
May 15, 2009 5:06 pm at 5:06 pm #1226800areivimzehlazehParticipantmoish01
Member
sounds like camp to me.
moish- it is. Don’t you have sisters coming home with school songs? Alot of tough stuff they learn there 😉
(I’m a dafkanik. Whoever wants to argue my narrow views- go right ahead!)
May 15, 2009 5:13 pm at 5:13 pm #1226801Dr. PepperParticipantames-
I didn’t take her over the bridge, just to a park near the bridge (does that scare you?). Crossing a bridge on a date with me was a privilege that had to be earned and not a given. My wife earned that privilege on all dates except for one (she was bragging that she knew the order of the 3 East River Bridges- Brooklyn, Manhattan and Williamsburgh- but then admitted that she couldn’t tell them apart and used the Roshei Teivos of her favorite car, B-M-W, to remember the order).
By the way- after what the girl did on the second (and last) date, she got a call on her cell phone and answered it, I knew it couldn’t be you.
A classmate of mine from an engineering class proposed to his wife on a bridge. He knew that if she is scared she’d be more likely to say what he wants to hear. The first one to wish them Mazel Tov was they guy in the toll booth (he thought he would get out of paying).
May 15, 2009 6:40 pm at 6:40 pm #1226802moish01Memberhaha i just asked my sister and she wanted to know where i heard about it and why i was interested.
and yea they do sing all these songs but i thought that’s just what girls do.
May 15, 2009 8:48 pm at 8:48 pm #1226803Dr. PepperParticipantames-
We’re coming from different places. While you may look at a bridge as “the guy being cheap” and the tunnel as “the guy being a mentch” we look at it differently.
The toll notwithstanding, a tunnel is a mere hole in the ground while a bridge is a graceful structure with its towers standing proudly hundreds of feet above the river supporting the massive cables which create a perfect parabola while carrying the roadway across the river in one sweeping arch.
After she answered the phone, without even saying “excuse me”, she lost her bridge privilege. (She had already lost window privileges but I wasn’t ready to take away front seat privileges as of yet.) Before we got into the tunnel I informed her that we are approaching a tunnel, that the phone call might be dropped and “it’s rude to just cut someone off while they are in the middle of talking”, so she might want to say good-bye. She said to her friend, “Chavi- I’m actually on a date now and the guy said we’re about to go into a tunnel and we might get cut off, so I’ll call you back when he drops me off… Uh, I’ll tell you how it went when he drops me off, OK?”.
May 17, 2009 6:13 am at 6:13 am #1226804JaxMemberDr. Pepper: After she answered the phone, without even saying “excuse me”, she lost her bridge privilege. (She had already lost window privileges but I wasn’t ready to take away front seat privileges as of yet.) Before we got into the tunnel I informed her that we are approaching a tunnel, that the phone call might be dropped and “it’s rude to just cut someone off while they are in the middle of talking”, so she might want to say good-bye. She said to her friend, “Chavi- I’m actually on a date now and the guy said we’re about to go into a tunnel and we might get cut off, so I’ll call you back when he drops me off… Uh, I’ll tell you how it went when he drops me off, OK?”.
hilarious one buddy!
May 17, 2009 11:28 am at 11:28 am #1226805Dr. PepperParticipantames-
Had I considered it a privilege to go out with her in the first place I would have behaved differently. Do you actually think that the dates with my wife went the same way?
Jax-
I’m still waiting for some of yours.
May 17, 2009 8:17 pm at 8:17 pm #1226806GoldieLoxxMemberit hurts so much to hear when a guy or a girl is not a mentch on a date. the line that well he/she is not right for me is wrong. they have friends and you dont want a reputation
May 17, 2009 8:39 pm at 8:39 pm #1226807jewishfeminist02MemberI should hope there are better reasons for acting like a mentsch than just wanting to safeguard one’s reputation.
May 17, 2009 10:57 pm at 10:57 pm #1226808JaxMemberDr. Pepper: i actually once posted mine in this thread! but said it happened to a friend! now go find that post, it’s a good one! 😉
May 17, 2009 11:22 pm at 11:22 pm #1226809anonymisssParticipantDate or no date, wouldn’t you want to always act like a mentch?
~a~
May 18, 2009 12:30 am at 12:30 am #1226810BasYisroel2ParticipantMay 18, 2009 1:41 am at 1:41 am #1226811May 18, 2009 4:36 am at 4:36 am #1226812JaxMemberBasYisroel2: great one there!
May 18, 2009 6:21 am at 6:21 am #1226813MoracMemberI know my husband since I was 6, even though we have very drum families. When I was 14, his older brother got married and I got very close with his new wife. A month later, I became very close with my principal after a family disaster, who is a very respected principal. When I was in 12th grade, my husband, with his sister in law’s urging, walks right over to my principal and asks to set up the shidduch! We both went to very frim schools, so the look on his face was a shocker! After a long farher (I was the principal’s favorite student- but not a goody goody at all) he said mazal tov, and was about to book a hall but then remembers that we hadn’t gone out yet!
-
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.