Funny Shidduch Questions Asked About a Boy/Girl/Family

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  • #914056
    apushatayid
    Participant

    I HATED it when a father would try to faher me on a date, but I usually went along with it, until one time one guy just rubbed me the wrong way. I borrowed the line of one of the Gerer Rebbes (I think it was the chiddushei harim) and asked him if I could faher him back. After all, I have just as much an achrayus to marry a bas talmid chacham as he has to marry his daughter off to a talmid chacham. Somehow he forgot about the gemara and offered me cake and soda and started making some light talk 🙂

    #914057
    bpt
    Participant

    Very funny, Blinky!

    I know of a similar story (may have been posted, but worth a repeat)

    Apparently, one rental agency in particular was very popular with the dating crowd. The prior renter (who was most likley on one of the later date stages) had a Post-it note on the sun visor that said, “will you marry me?”

    For whatever reason, the note was not removed before the next renter. Settling down for date # 1, the girl decides to check her makeup, ect in the flip down visor’s mirror. Much to her surprise, she sees the note that pops the BIG QUESTION.

    Stunned, she says to her date, ” I really wasn’t expecting to be asked this soon!”

    Apparently, neither was he!

    #914059

    Someone once called me to ask about my neighbors. One of the inane questions was “what do they eat on Shabbos?”

    It came to mind when I saw this letter in this months Community Magazine

    Mazza By Day

    [If one must choose between] giving honor to the night [of Shabbat] or the day [of Shabbat]

    #914060

    s/o pls explain this one to me-wat cemetery are the grandparents/greatgrandparents buried in?

    #914061
    yeshivaguy1
    Participant

    my favorite question that was asked to someone I know

    I am about to start dating X, tell me is there any major problems I should be aware about.

    No

    Great, and she is a nice sweet girl

    Yes

    Ok, I guess I’ll find out everything else when I meet her

    #914062
    Sacrilege
    Member

    I guess its not such a weird question but it was the first time it was asked of me so it struck me as funny…

    Someone asked my mother if I was ever divorced.

    I turned to my father and said, “Lets get through the first before we start worrying about the second”

    #914063
    real-brisker
    Member

    sac – lol

    #914064
    pumper
    Member

    Sacrilege-

    Its not such a funny question if you are no longer 19 or 20.

    #914065
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Sac: As opposed to still married?

    #914066
    Sacrilege
    Member

    23. I know, its really not such a funny question, it was just never asked before so it struck me as funny.

    #914068
    adorable
    Participant

    Someone called a friend of mine about another friend and asked “will she want her husband to go out with her or will she let him di his own thing? if she wants to go out she can go alone….or will she ask him to come along?” is that what marriage is all about? they each have their own schedules and go on their merry way? which girl doesn’t want attention and want her husband to go out with her?

    #914069
    Sacrilege
    Member

    popa

    You’d be surprised at what there is a market for these days…

    #914070
    HLM
    Member

    Why do people even ask these???

    #914071

    How come nobody asks the really important questions, the questions that will easily, almost invariably, determine a couple’s compatibility, based on the formula that if the boy likes a, the perfect girl for him prefers b:

    Does she/he a)like going to the country for the summer, or would s/he prefer b)to stay in the city?

    Does s/he like to a)sleep with the window open or b)closed (a/c on or off)?

    Would he like a)to eat noodles and cheese for every meal? Does she like b)to cook a different 6 course meal every weeknight and have fleishiks every other night?

    Does she like have 47 different salads on the Shabbos table, while he is a vegetarian–he loves vegetable too much to eat them?

    It’s not that opposites attract, it’s more Hashem’s way of balancing people out (IMHO).

    #914072
    s2021
    Member

    Someone once asked about me- If she was a drink, what drink would she be? lol… (The funny thing is the person actually named my fave drink..)

    #914073
    formetoknow
    Member

    for all those recounting the story of the bachur who asked to faher his future father in law, i think you ll find it was the Sochatchover rebbe (author of the avne nezer) who was marrying the daughter of the kotsker rebbe

    #914074
    apushatayid
    Participant

    This is not funny, but since there is no thread about dumb questions asked…..

    Last night we got a call about the child of divorced parents. “Does he agree or disagree with his parents decision to divorce”. We hung up, didn’t even bother to say, “pardon?”. If the caller is reading this, what are you thinking?

    #914075
    anon1m0us
    Participant

    Ok, there are certain questions which are foolish and others which might make a difference.

    Some people do not like the weight question. If a person is not attracted to overweight people, not to say other people who do not care, why should they date? It might seem insensitive but it avoids embarrassing or terrible dates.

    I heard girls ask if the guy is bald. I can understand why a girl would not want to go out with him. When you are 18-25, young etc, one wants someone good looking. Yes, after you are married and love each other, being bald is not a big deal.

    Unfortunately, there has been cases where people take medications or are unstable and they end up getting divorced. Sometimes these weird questions is to uncover the truth from people who try to hide it.

    #914076
    apushatayid
    Participant

    To borrow from a common saying. Ask a weird question, get a weird answer.

    #914078
    mustangrider
    Member

    a shadchan recently called me and asked if i wear a seatbelt.

    i answered a firm “Of course!!!” thinking this was an easy one…

    but then the shadchan was like “oh… the guy specificly asked because he doesn’t believe it is tzeniut for a girl to wear a seatbelt…”

    does anyone else think this is crazy or am i the crazy one???

    #914079
    ronrsr
    Member

    He’s crazy. Next question, please.

    #914080
    kapusta
    Participant

    I sure hope hes a good driver…

    Please buckle up when you get into a car.

    *kapusta*

    #914081
    bortezomib
    Participant

    OMG.

    i just had a 40 minute conversation with a yeshivish-sounding man about my friend. My friend is VERY frum, but is not looking for a full-time learner. After I had expounded on her many maalos, the man asked, “Well, if she is so passionate about Torah, as you describe, then why isn’t she looking for a full-time learner? Wouldn’t you say that somebody who’s working would not be as passionate for Torah as someone in kolel? Unless they don’t have the education of course..”

    Well EXCUSE me! I actually disagree!!! (though i give him credit for not asking anything about her outward appearance)

    My Rov in seminary told us about the time that he was called about a girl he once taught, and was answering their questions, until they asked “Is she pretty?” Uncomfortable, he answered non-commitedly, “She..looks like a girl..” The caller persisted, undaunted, “What size would you say she is?” To which my now-disgusted Rabbi answered “Excuse me, you must have the wrong number. I am a Rabbi, not a modeling agency.” and promptly hung up the phone.

    #914082
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    My first suggestion for a shidduch didn’t want to go out with me because I lived 3 hours away from NY (I guess she has a point though) don’t worry I ended up marrying a NYer

    #914083
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    mustangrinder,

    I would hate to be his wife because he’s a Shoteh (not even a chossid shoteh)

    #914084
    mustangrider
    Member

    thanx ronrsr, kapusta, and coffeee addict!

    dont worry, there was no way i was goin out with a guy like that!

    i just wanted to make sure i wasnt the crazy one in this situation, so thanx for agreeing with me!!! 🙂

    #914085
    gefen
    Participant

    mustangrider – i heard a story just like that a few years ago. the mother of the girl was asked by the shadchan “when she wears the seatbelt, does she use the shoulder strap or just the lap belt?” when she asked why, the shadchan said bec. the shoulder strap is not tznius.

    SO…”moral of the story” — it’s better to be killed as long as one is tznius! (yes – sarcasm intended)

    also shouldn’t the guy have his eyes on the road while driving – NOT LOOKING AT THE GIRL ON HIS RIGHT!

    bortezomib – “Excuse me, you must have the wrong number. I am a Rabbi, not a modeling agency.” I just love that line! he sounds like one great Rov – way to go!

    #914086
    tracht gut
    Member

    Got a phone call for a friend a few days ago, one of the questions was , would she be able to make a letcho??

    i was like, whats that? lol

    #914087
    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    mustangrider-

    I heard about people who don’t wear seat belts because of tznius reasons. One girl I went out with got in the car and didn’t put on a seat belt, I was concerned that she might be one of those and we were going to have a date in the car in middle of August! (I don’t drive unless everyone is strapped in.) When she asked what we’re waiting for I asked if she could please buckle up- and she did. (She apologized and said she forgot. A friend told me that some girls purposely don’t put on seat belts to see if the guy is caring enough to look out for them.)

    #914088
    oomis
    Participant

    (She apologized and said she forgot. A friend told me that some girls purposely don’t put on seat belts to see if the guy is caring enough to look out for them.) “

    Those are foolish games played by foolish people. Adults who are mature enough and ready to get married do not play these games. Girls who are really tzniusdig, should not expect their dates to be watching them place a seatbelt against their bodies.

    #914089
    HLM
    Member

    from the 1st page:

    posted by: bmw

    My mom was a 5th grade teacher. Someone called her for information about a former student. Her answer was- I hope she matured since my class. They wanted to know “why, was she very imature for a 5th grader?”

    OMG!!! My teacher told us this story…

    #914090
    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    oomis1105-

    By the way, I didn’t suspect her of that, it was just something a friend mentioned to me after the fact.

    #914091
    zen3344
    Participant

    I’m of the Conservative Jewish pursuation, so I didn’t go through a shidduch. I met my wife in college and, when we started to “go steady,” I made the announcement to my parents (I was all of 19). Got the standard questions from my mother:

    Q: What’s her name?

    A: Her name is….

    Q: Where’d you meet her?

    A: At school. We have a class together.

    Q: Is she Jewish? (I had, shall we say, a “history”.)

    A: YES!!!! (Thought I had the situation nailed at that point.?

    Q: How old is she?

    A: 22

    Reply: She’s too old….

    Well, 25 years (23 of them married) and two children later, I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.

    #914092
    TheGoq
    Participant

    hi zen i don’t recall seeing your name b4 if your new welcome aboard!

    #914093
    bpt
    Participant

    “I am a Rabbi, not a modeling agency”

    Great line! Ask him if you can post the name of the seminary.

    #914094
    kapusta
    Participant

    Welcome, zen!

    *kapusta*

    #914095
    zen3344
    Participant

    Thanks for the welcomes, folks. I’ve posted a few times before, not many.

    #914096

    so someone I know was asked if the girl’s mother pushes the shopping cart while in the grocery, or if she pulls it from the back.

    I’m still trying to figure out what the boy’s mom was getting at with that one and while I have a bunch of possible theories the mom is probably still a quack.

    #914097

    kshmo, i never heard that one before! that’s crazy! truthfully, these are all crazy! i always tell people, its not a shidduch crisis- its a priorities crisis!!!!!!!!!

    #914098
    kapusta
    Participant

    KKH, which is better?

    Of course the correct answer would be that the maid does the shopping.

    *kapusta*

    #914099
    Mayan_Dvash
    Participant

    Kshmo: HELLOOOOO!!!! It’s a trick question. The right answer is that she calls/faxes/emails in the order! CH”V she should go out shopping!! 🙂

    Seriously, I can’t figure it out either. I hope my opening comment here is NOT true.

    ;

    #914100
    adorable
    Participant

    i am really confused. what did this lady want to figure out??!?!?! i love giving info when they ask NORMAL questions (doesnt happen that often though)

    #914101

    How about:

    What brand of bleach does her mother use for laundering the white Shabbos tablecloth? And which offshore bank does her father use for laundering the money from his cash businesses?

    #914102

    A true story…or is it:

    Rather than asking what color tablecloth a family uses for Shabbos, a certain shadchonis (actually I think the correct form is shadchonte) would ask the lady of the house what brand of bleach she uses to wash her Shabbos tablecloth.

    Of course, when someone answered “color fast bleach” or “bleach would ruin my tablecloth” she knew to remove that family from her list of potential mates because obviously the Shabbos tablecloth was not white. If someone answered “I send it to the cleaners” she would ask “Is there really a dry cleaner out there who you can trust with a white tablecloth” to see what the reaction would be.

    #914103
    msseeker
    Member

    “s/o pls explain this one to me-wat cemetery are the grandparents/greatgrandparents buried in?”

    Perhaps they were trying to determine if they’re Jewish all around, no p’gam.

    #914104

    so i think the correct answer to the shopping cart question was definetly NOT that she calls or faxes in the order cuz that would be lazy…

    As far as which way the cart is pulled/pushed your guesses are as good as mine

    #914105
    bortezomib
    Participant

    bpt- If you can figure out a normal way to email my seminary teacher “please let me tell the story you told over last year in the name of ____ on yeshiva world news cr” ”ll be happy to do so.

    Until then, I could probably say that it was in a non-bais yaakov seminary, though he teaches in bais yaakov seminaries as well.

    #914106
    Health
    Participant

    If s/o feels the seatbelt isn’t Tzinus, at least they should put the woman in the back where it is safer without buckles.

    #914107
    mamashtakah
    Member

    “Does the boy wear a bobby pin or clip to keep his yarmulke on?”

    #914108
    miritchka
    Member

    After answering a hwole bunch of questions for a about 30 minutes, this lady asks me the shape of her eyes and teh space between it…reminded me of the story with r’ akiva and the man who tried to make him upset with many sily questions…

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