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- This topic has 14 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 7 months ago by WolfishMusings.
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April 8, 2011 3:20 pm at 3:20 pm #596194adorableParticipant
did you ever meet a couple that made you wonder…. they are so different what makes them stay together, or even marry eachother in the first place. please dont tell me that you can never judge- i am not judging just wondering if anyone else ever thinks this way.
April 8, 2011 4:38 pm at 4:38 pm #757806WolfishMusingsParticipantYes, I’ve known a few “odd couples.” One of my sets of grandparents were just such a couple.
It always seemed a little strange to me because Eeees and I are very alike. I don’t know if I could imagine myself with someone so radically different from me in terms of personality and temperament.
But hey, it seems to work for them. They seem to be very happily married.
The Wolf
April 8, 2011 4:58 pm at 4:58 pm #757807GumBallMemberyeah my brother got engaged a month ago and at first i waz lk wow their so differet but now i see that their the same!!
April 8, 2011 5:02 pm at 5:02 pm #757808aries2756ParticipantYes Hashem has a very interesting sense of humor. Just goes to show that he doesn’t necessary plan for you what you have on your lists!
April 8, 2011 5:07 pm at 5:07 pm #757809WolfishMusingsParticipantYes Hashem has a very interesting sense of humor. Just goes to show that he doesn’t necessary plan for you what you have on your lists!
I don’t know about that. I got *exactly* what I was looking for. In addition, it would not surprise me if some people actively *do* look for people who are not like themselves.
The Wolf
April 8, 2011 5:12 pm at 5:12 pm #757810GumBallMemberhashem has a sence of humor… u dont believe me?? go to wal mart and check the people out and then ull believe me!!!!!!lol
April 8, 2011 5:13 pm at 5:13 pm #757811gefenParticipantI, too, know a lot of “odd couples”. They do say opposites attract. Have you ever seen couples where the husband seems so meek and shy while the wife is quite outgoing? Or other such examples? I guess they balance each other out. As long as they are happy, that’s what counts. I wonder what ppl think of my husband and me as a couple. Hmm! Interesting thought. I guess I’ll never know. How about all of you? Do any of you see urselves as an “odd couple”?
April 8, 2011 5:58 pm at 5:58 pm #757813RedNails19ParticipantGumball- I LIKE!!
April 8, 2011 7:55 pm at 7:55 pm #757814deiyezoogerMemberthat’s the challenge in life…….
“TO PLAY WITH WHAT CARDS YOU WERE GIVEN”
April 8, 2011 8:31 pm at 8:31 pm #757815StuffedCabbageParticipantmy grandparents are as different as night and day! my grandmother is outgoing friendly spontaneous, forever getting together with the “girls” and my grandfather USED to be quiet and more introverted….untill he came under the influence of my grandmother. now hes a “social butterfly” lol! their still opposites but hey! opposites attract!
April 8, 2011 8:43 pm at 8:43 pm #757816GeshmakManParticipantJust shows that people should always take an open minded approach to dating, b/c you never know! People try and make the shidduch/marriage on paper w/o realizing that there are humans involved. And then we wonder why there is a “crisis”?
April 10, 2011 3:41 am at 3:41 am #757817yummy cupcakeMembermy friend actually told me that she read an article (in binah i think) that although, yes, in shidduchim the hashkafos have to agree with each other and the personalities are something to take into consideration, one important part of shidduchim is emotional needs. i didn’t read the article myself, so it’s a little harder for me to explain what she was telling me, but basically the author of the article said there are four types of emotional needs. the first one is someone who needs to be shown love and appreciation (ex: with a gift from spouse, would like a meaningful note to come with it). the second is someone who has a very giving nature, the person who shows the appreciation, but does not feel a great need to be shown appreciation. third is someone in between the two (likes to be shown appreciation, and is very giving and appreciative of others). fourth is someone who has very few emotional needs, someone who is more practical minded (will say “ok this is what happened and this is what needs to be done” without emotion getting in the way)
you have to read the article, but what i’m trying to say is, the personalities won’t necessarily be the same, as long as they meet each other’s emotional needs.
April 10, 2011 6:04 pm at 6:04 pm #757818PosterMemberIt makes sense for grandparents to be diff. since especially after the war were pple married cousins, pple from their hometown, shidduchim were really limited. PLUS our grandparents endured any pain. Anyone knows of a 70 yr old divorced man or woman? Not nearly as coomon as it is today.
Back on track, there are a lot of shidduchim that happen that I think I wouldnt have paired those two up. Who says husband and wife need to be exactly alike?
April 11, 2011 5:03 pm at 5:03 pm #757819adorableParticipantI mean not only are they different personalities but they are also diff hashkafa or whatever. Like maybe he is a rebbe and she is so far from the rebbee’s wife type? you know what i mean?
April 11, 2011 5:21 pm at 5:21 pm #757820WolfishMusingsParticipantIt makes sense for grandparents to be diff. since especially after the war were pple married cousins, pple from their hometown, shidduchim were really limited.
My grandparents (whom I mentioned above) were both born in New York City and did not meet via shidduchim. In other words, it’s not always about lack of opportunity.
Nonetheless, despite their very different personalities, my grandparents were married for over fifty years.
The Wolf
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