Home › Forums › Shidduchim › Frumster Versus Saw You At Sinai
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May 5, 2011 12:27 pm at 12:27 pm #596675eclipseMember
Which site would you refer a totally yeshivish friend to?
May 5, 2011 1:20 pm at 1:20 pm #764509SacrilegeMemberNeither. Given the choices, Saw You At Sinai.
May 5, 2011 1:24 pm at 1:24 pm #764510the.nurseMemberDefinitely Saw You at Sinai.
With Frumster, you communicate directly with the other person from the start. With Saw You at Sinai, you have 1 or 2 shadchanim that are assigned to you, and they match you with people they think match your profile. If you see you are not interested in someone they match you up with, you can email the shadchan directly and have no contact with the other person. In addition, they give you a few references on the other person.
May 5, 2011 1:39 pm at 1:39 pm #764511adorableParticipantnone- take her to a shadchun in real life or call some for her but if I had to chose one I would choose frumster
May 5, 2011 1:44 pm at 1:44 pm #764512yogiboobooMemberSaw you at sinai. heres why-
on frumster you dont really know who you are talking to because there are no refrences and or others involved, it can get a little scary. On SYAS-there are shadchanim and they have to designate at least 4 hours a week to all the singles they have aquired. and then and only then when both sides have agreed do they talk. that is my recommendation. but i never really had mazel on SYAS so I used frumster and was B”H successful there.
May 5, 2011 2:02 pm at 2:02 pm #764513double standardMemberSYAS. It operates more like “yeshivish” style dating, just online. Users cannot see profiles unless matchmakers send it to them. This benefits singles’ privacy and time (so they don’t have to search through hundreds of profiles themselves).
May 5, 2011 2:06 pm at 2:06 pm #764514Leah222Memberneither. try shidduchworld and shadchan circle. much more geared to yeshivish circles (singles & shadchonim)
May 5, 2011 2:08 pm at 2:08 pm #764515Leah222Memberi must add that the best is to MEET shadchonim.. establish a relationship.. otherwise you just remain on paper (or computer screens!)
May 5, 2011 2:55 pm at 2:55 pm #764516TZUMZACH1MemberSYAS, for guys! But BEWARE, its like ROACH MOTEL, once you check in you cant check out. Its too intoxicating… Getting 10 new girls’ profiles a week with pictures and info. Guys love it and lots of them stay as paying members for 5+ years. There are loads of 30+ year olds who log in regularly and decline one girl after another, for five years in a row. It becomes an addiction and makes it harder for them to get married.
For girls, only if you can deal with not getting accepted for months, unless you have a great picture and exciting profile, or lots of Mazel. There are many many more girls than guys.
Frumster could be dangerous.
Its sad.
May 5, 2011 3:01 pm at 3:01 pm #764517charliehallParticipantWell I met my wife on frumster.com, so I have a bit of a bias ;).
I had tried SawYouAtSinai but did not find that the system worked for me. I never had a personal meeting with any of their shadchanim so they didn’t really know me, and they regularly sent me suggestions for matches that were inappropriate.
May 5, 2011 3:11 pm at 3:11 pm #764518charliehallParticipantOne other bit of advice regardless of which site you use: You have to fill out a questionnaire in which you have to check a lot of boxes in order to categorize yourself. Don’t exclude someone who is a prospective match purely on the basis of that person having checked a supposedly incompatible hashkafah box. For example, there are plenty of yeshivish and chasidic people with lots of interests beyond torah, and there are plenty of modern orthodox folks who are dedicated to learning torah at every opportunity. You may find your basherte is someone from a very different background. Minor differences in minhagim can be overcome. My own wonderful spouse did not check the same hashkafah box as me. Pay more attention to the essays, not the pigeonholes.
May 5, 2011 3:14 pm at 3:14 pm #764519TZUMZACH1Membercharliehall, Ive made Shidduchim on SYAS. There have been over 600, officially, to date, and probably more that happened as a result of singles becoming aware of other singles, but only a small percentage of Shidduchim have been Yeshivish or Modern Yeshivish. Many Matchmakers leave after a year because they get frustated after trying many hours and not succeeding. Some Matchmakers are much more devoted than others.
Many Matchmakers agree that the frummer guys who are eager to get married, dont end up on SYAS because they get married within the first year or two of dating. With exceptions, its the more difficult cases (frummer guys uniquely difficult to please) that find their way to SYAS.
May 5, 2011 9:32 pm at 9:32 pm #764520eclipseMemberThank you all.
charlie and yogi–you both found your basherte on Frumster?
Cooool!:)
May 5, 2011 9:34 pm at 9:34 pm #764521eclipseMemberTzumzach…you are a shadchan or a member?
May 6, 2011 2:22 am at 2:22 am #764522TZUMZACH1Membereclipse, Shadchan. I’ve made Shidduchim, with the help of Hashem, on SYAS and elsewhere.
May 6, 2011 3:08 am at 3:08 am #764523eclipseMemberAnyway…we nixed both for different reasons.
I will try to find her someone the old-fashioned way.
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