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I need a short clean french joke for a class presentation…any ideas??
sorry cant help you on this one good luck
Yes, I was in Paris. I saw all those parasites… (Jackie Mason)
Does the joke have to be about the French or does the joke have to be in French?
Au zoo, des animaux discutent des prochaines vacances :
– Et toi, le crocodile, ou vas-tu ?
I don’t know if it’s clean, but it is for me.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
French.
French who?
French Fries!
of course!
how do you know the wine bottle opener was made in France?
b/c when you push down it’s “head” the “arms” shoot up like it’s surrendering
you mean a joke about french people right? (as opposed to a joke in french)
Do you want this in French or English?
The shoemaker
In late August 1939, a man brings his shoes at the shoemaker.
Three days later, war is declared. Mobilized, he moved to the front, and he was taken prisoner. Liberated by the Russians in 45, he fought with an officer, which earned him ten years of Gulag. Traded by the Americans, he finds himself in the United States and settled there.
And now forty years later, he returned to France as a tourist. Of course, this man will see his street. It has changed much, except that the shoe repair store is still there. So out of curiosity, he enters and asks the old man behind the counter:
– How long have you been here for?
– Oh, my dear sir, since before the war!
– So is it to you that I gave my shoes to repair! It was late August 1939. Three days later I was mobilized …
He tells his whole story. And he adds:
– In fact, you may still have my shoes? It would be funny …
– Wait … I’ll see says the old man.
He lifts his door and down the basement. From below he shouts:
– What color are your shoes?
– Yellow!
– Are they square with brown laces?
– Yes!
– They’ll be ready on Thursday …
The only thing we have in common is that we are both yellow.
_______________________
Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama?
A: So the French can show them how to surrender.
A: French War Heroes.
Q: What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training?
A: How to surrender in at least 10 languages.
Mods: It is clean, I google translated it. You can put it up.
a frenchman and a czech went to the zoo.
as they are looking at the bears, one of the bears eats the czech.
the frenchman goes over to the zoo-keeper and tells him the bear ate his friend.
the zoo-keeper said we have 2 bears, a male and a female, which one ate ur friend?
the frenchman says the male….so they cut open the male hes not in there, they cute open the female, his friend is there.
whats the lesson learnt??? never believe a frenchman when he says the check is in the mail :))
that’s actually funny!!
if this were a French cofferoom, and such jokes and false rumors were being told about Jews, we would be here complaining about the darn antisemites, telling demeaning stories about Jews.
Ron, we wouldn’t care what they saidc about us.
These jokes wouldn’t make sense about Jews. Now, if the jokes were about us having long noses and ripping people off, we might get insulted. Especially about the ripping people off.
ronrsr, I agree. Some people here should take a visit to the Rue des Rosiers in Paris and tell these jokes there.
ron, the difference is where making fun of a nationality not a religion
And a really messed up – goyish – nationality at that!
2 frenchmen were buying flowers for their wives.one said,if i forget her birthday,i’m fried!the other one said:if i forget our anniversary,i’m toast!
Hold up an open plain white napkin, wave it around, and ask, “Can anyone tell me what this is?”
Answer: The French Flag!!
On the third day of the Six Day War, France surrendered.
There are plenty of Jews in France. Enough with the lashon harah, already.
We need to rescue the Yidden in France – before the French surrender.
cshapiro, huh? Who is “preaching to the choir?” Or do you not know what that phrase means? If I were preaching to the choir, then everyone would agree with me which is certainly not the case.
Take a tip from someone who already went to college. You do not need a “French joke” to make your presentation. For all you know, your professor will not like it and then you’ve lost him. You never know the complete background of those listening.
How many Frenchmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
mbachur, why is it OK to make fun of a nationality and not OK to make fun of religion? Both are composed of people with feelings.
ronrsr wrote…
“mbachur, why is it OK to make fun of a nationality…”
It is OK to make fun of the French because they have no concept of Hakaras HaTov. Tens of thousands of American boys died fighting to liberate france. If not for the U.S. the frenchies (who survived) would be speaking german. – and yet, the french not only have no hakaras hatov, they are anti-American.
Additionally, after the Six Day War, when they got pressure from the yishmaelim, they cut off arms supplies to Eretz Yisrael.
AinOhdMilvado, Have you ever visited France other than changing planes at CDG?
It is ok to make fun of the french because they are rotten horrible people, who do not have a good midda among them.
Yet, they are human and tzelem elokim. We should use them as an example of where humanity can fall. Indeed, that is the essence of our greatness, that we have the opportunity to sink, but we rise.
Must one visit Germany to judge the Nazis?
Paging Dr. Godwin…call for you on line one.
How Can anyone say the French have no gratitude ever hear of the Statue of Liberty? a present from the French
TheGoq…
The Statue of Liberty was… when???
I’m more likely to acknowledge French toast and French fries!
Lafayette, we have arrived!
(how soon we forget)
This was my first posting 5 years ago yesterday seems like a lifetime ago.
The last war that the french won was the French Revolution.
The other day a jew and an arab got into a fight. The French army surrendered.
(both from Jackie Mason)
These jokes are almost as funny as Jew-jokes. And why did anyone want to revive a 5-year old disgraceful thread so soon after a terrorist attack on Paris?
nfgo it was my first post my 5 year anniversary was 2 days ago
And some of these jokes are Jew jokes.
And why did anyone want to revive a 5-year old disgraceful thread so soon after a terrorist attack on Paris?
You make it sound like we should have more respect for the French because of the attack.
Quote:
“If this were a French coffee room, and such jokes and false rumors
were being told about Jews” – I think that’s as far as that needs to go.
To scared driver delight: Pay attention to your davening. In my nusach, after putting on tefillin, we read that we should treat others as we want to be treated. That applies even to the French.
nfgo, no it does not apply to them. It only applies to Acheinu Bnei Yisroel.
I await your apology nfgo i explained why i revived this thread (it was my very first post and i revived it on my 5 year anniversary) and as you can see i defended the french 5 years ago and did not join in the stereotyping.
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