Home › Forums › Family Matters › free day care for the kollel wife
- This topic has 19 replies, 14 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 5 months ago by Gadolhadorah.
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May 30, 2017 10:39 am at 10:39 am #1288389kitovParticipant
Free day care for the kollel wife is much needed in our generation.
Kollel wives need a place to drop off their kids so they can go to work and make parnassah for their growing family otherwise they will pressure the husband to drop out of kollel and go to work.
This is how we are losing a generation of kollel youngerliet.
Why oh why can’t we build free day care facilities like we built yeshivas ,mikvahs and synagogues ??May 30, 2017 10:54 am at 10:54 am #1288398JosephParticipantA wife and mother should be stay-at-home. Women don’t belong out in the wide world.
May 30, 2017 10:54 am at 10:54 am #1288396MenoParticipantAlso free rent.
And free car insurance.
May 30, 2017 11:14 am at 11:14 am #1288406GadolhadorahParticipantDrop the yinglach off at Joseph’s house….consistent with his view that all bnos yisroel should “stay at home” and “don’t belong out in the world”, he has graciously offered free day care for all YWN readers who must work for a parnassah so he has the opportunity to provide them musar as to the error of their ways…he will also provide free rent, car insurance and to the first ten women, a free tichel
May 30, 2017 2:18 pm at 2:18 pm #1288465👑RebYidd23ParticipantGadolhadorah, that’s ridiculous. You can’t ask him to babysit the kids of people who work. You can only expect him to support all the women staying at home. That’s all.
May 30, 2017 3:21 pm at 3:21 pm #1288527LightbriteParticipantThen again, Joseph never said he’d be at home watching the kids, did he?
Presumably, he may be a daycare owner who runs the business side of things from a remote office only accessible to him and his twelve other male employees who always are in attendance, so there is never a question about making minyan
May 30, 2017 5:15 pm at 5:15 pm #1288545hujuParticipantIf we built free yeshivas, how do sign up my kids? And please post the addresses of the free mikvahs and synagogues.
May 30, 2017 5:16 pm at 5:16 pm #1288540Avram in MDParticipantJoseph,
A wife and mother should be stay-at-home. Women don’t belong out in the wide world.
If a man wanted to learn in kollel, but in order to feed his family, his wife would have to work outside of the home, would you advise him to not learn in kollel?
May 30, 2017 5:29 pm at 5:29 pm #1288544LightbriteParticipantSeriously though, kitov is so right! ☺
In the US at least, childcare is hugely expensive and makes it difficult for women to go to work. For kollel women, they need to make a salary that not only pays significantly more than the cost of childcare, but enough to support her entire family on top of that.
Other Western countries provide childcare.
In my humble opinion, kitov’s is a very reasonable request. There is a need. There was more communal help back in the day and today some kollel women may have to compete with higher expectations with fewer resources.
Even with childcare it wouldn’t be easy. I think it’s awesome that kitov voiced a need that she sees in her community. Amen.
May 30, 2017 5:30 pm at 5:30 pm #1288550mw13Participanthuju:
If we built free yeshivas, how do sign up my kids? And please post the addresses of the free mikvahs and synagogues.
+1
May 30, 2017 6:38 pm at 6:38 pm #1288576JosephParticipantAvrom, as long as you realize it is a compromise/unfortunate that the wife has to work outside of the home, and it isn’t the ideal, then you might be okay doing so.
June 1, 2017 10:41 pm at 10:41 pm #1288588Avi KParticipantJoseph, men should become lawyers and CPAs and put in 3,000 billable hours per month as per the ketubot they signed so that their wives can stay home and make on-line purchases. When will the men learn? On shabbatot and moedim. The rest of the time they will suffice with keriat shema morning and evening.
So far as the OP’s question, just as there is no free lunch there is no free day care. Someone has to pay.
June 1, 2017 10:41 pm at 10:41 pm #1288587WinnieThePoohParticipantI don’t think kollel wives need day care- free or any other kind. But their children might.
I doubt though that it is just expensive day care for babies that are making kollel couples reconsider the husband staying in kollel. There are lots of expenses in raising a large frum family, and even if someone would be able to sponsor free day care, that would not solve the issues of how to pay for school tuitions, insurance, rent/mortgage, clothing, etc etc on just one salary.June 1, 2017 11:27 pm at 11:27 pm #1288805adocsParticipantJoseph-
That’s a cop-out.
Answer the question.
Choose one.
A) Husband learns in kollel, while wife works
B) Husband goes to work, while wife stays home
June 2, 2017 12:36 am at 12:36 am #1288837JosephParticipantChildren need their mothers; not babysitters and not day care.
June 2, 2017 10:45 am at 10:45 am #1288901adocsParticipantJoseph-
So you choose B
June 4, 2017 2:42 pm at 2:42 pm #1289252bmyerParticipantWhat would the kollel wives be doing in this day care? Can’t really picture them playing with blocks..maybe cooking? Could their kids come? What would happen if they don’t behave?
June 5, 2017 7:43 am at 7:43 am #1289437assurnetParticipant“So far as the OP’s question, just as there is no free lunch there is no free day care. Someone has to pay.”
EXACTLY!!! Calling it “Free” is a misnomer – childcare professionals, a location, food, ect. doesn’t just fall out of the sky like the mann. All these have an associated cost which requires to be paid for. Normally the parents sending their kids to the daycare are the ones flipping the bill, however if they don’t that doesn’t magically make those costs go away. Somebody else has to pay for it instead – so for those in favor of such a thing who do you propose should be paying for it in place of the parents?
June 5, 2017 9:55 am at 9:55 am #1289477GadolhadorahParticipantThe vast majority of young families in the frum tzibur are very responsible, work incredibly hard and pay their bills on time. However, there are a small number who sustain the stereotype of the irresponsible and bumbling kollel yungerleit who somehow have a sense of entitlement that the tzibur owes them a parnassah and the “stuff” they need (childcare, chinuch, rental payment, groceries etc) should be free or paid by others. If you try to collect an overdue bill its like they say, “the Ebeshter will take care of my obligations since I’m shteiging 24×7) . Again, this is a tiny minority of frum familes but they convey a much large negative image which gets magnified by the retelling of these incidents.
June 5, 2017 10:44 am at 10:44 am #1289560GadolhadorahParticipantIt used to be possible for day care “cooperatives” would operate in different homes such that each mother would have several days a week she could get out of the house for part-time work, etc. Today, that’s much more difficult because in both the U.S. and EY the child-care authorities have licensed these facilities and generally made it difficult for “rotating” locations without all the required safety and care equipment. The fines for violations can be very steep.
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