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This post was sent in by a member of the CR requesting to remain anonymous (even more anonymous).
Lately, I’ve been feeling like maybe we should be taking in a foster child. It’s so sad that Jewish children are in need of a warm, loving home, and I’m thinking, maybe our home can help one of these poor children.
Does anyone have any insight, stories, advice, or information?
You have to know yourself, and your family. Are they up to handling it? Are YOU up to handling it? Its an amazing chesed to do, but you dont want it to backfire on you. The rewards are great (seeing the child stabilize, hopefully marry and raise a nice, Jewish family), you just have to know if you’re cut out to handle what comes along with it.
WOW! Just when I feel that many people are so petty and simply not caring, someone opens my eyes to real beauty –
Thank you, to whoever is asking about this – You are right, there are indeed many children, babies as well as teens in need of a real warm, loving, Torah-filled home.
I wish you hatzlacha in this potential journey –
You are an inspiration of chessed –
wishing you a kisiva v’chasima tova
I have sometimes thought of this for myself as well, but then thinking realistically, I know I couldn’t handle it at this point. And you have to especially take into consideration your own children’s feelings and concerns. Remember you would probably have to deal with behavioral stuff while the child is adjusting. And definitely have to deal with any specific problems that child has.
You may want to inquire into it through an agency like Ohel to see what the practical ramifications might be. Once you have educated yourself and your husband, then you can make an informed decision.
If you do decide to take in a foster child, then Yasher Koach and Tizku L’mitzvos!
I think you should speak to someone who is fostering. She would be able to tell you all the pros and cons. I know one lady who is a foster mum and doing well. She said she would never be able to do it if she did not have 100% commitement and help from husband and children. Hatzlocho
Without going into any details, I have personally known several kids who were taken into homes, and those families treated them as their own child. It was because of such amazing selfless people that these kids are still here today, and are more successful than anyone could have ever imagined.
I have a great aunt and uncle that had one son. once he was already in his high teens and out of the house in yeshiva they fostered a few kids and eventually they adopted two.
Have you considered adopting?
The other amazing thing is for those who are able to take in a special needs child even for a few days, to give the parents respite.
Maybe it would be wise to get some training beforehand in how to deal with children who may have certain psychological or physical disabilities or issues. Raising a child like that takes a special family. Be careful that the kids do not feel pressured or hateful to the new kid, or treat him/her any differently. It is a hard balance and I wish you much hatzlacha in this! You have to be special just to consider it.
I think it speaks very well to what kind of person you are that you are looking into this.
I would say do your homework and go in with your eyes wide open, and don’t be afraid to say no if you don’t think you can handle it.
Has anyone in the CR fostered a Down Syndrome Child? If so did the child bond with the other children in the family?
I was thinking about taking in a child-I asked a godol- he advised me against it, he said my children will resent it…I listened..well then I had another one of my own. at that point I certainly would not be able to handle it–
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