Forgive Me

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  • #603918
    Heshy
    Member

    Yesterday I wasn’t sympathetic to something my wife is going through. This morning she said that I am stupid and that there is no other word to describe me other than stupid. So forgive me if I ever say anything stupid in this forum – now you know why 😉

    #881294
    TheGoq
    Participant

    I dont think your wife thinking you are stupid is something you should laugh off.

    #881295
    2scents
    Participant

    This is not funny. you as a Husband should try to be as sympathetic as can be.

    Women need sympathy.

    well, thats if you are interested in having a wonderful life together.

    #881296
    BaalHabooze
    Participant

    now go buy your wife a gift (i.e. jewlery)

    #881297
    Hocker101
    Member

    CR is not for your personal issues. Keep them in your house!

    #881298

    if i had a dime for every time my wife got upset at me for not being sympathetic, i be a billionaire. Its called being a man

    #881299
    SayIDidItâ„¢
    Participant

    Heshy, instead of asking forgiveness before you say/do something stupid and unsympathetic, why don’t you try to be more sympathetic and “smart”? By agreeing that you are stupid you are giving up on yourself. We all have to change our bad middos. Don’t give up so easily!

    Make sure you take one step at a time

    Remember that surrender is the road to no end…

    Keep believing, pay no attention to what they say

    Up is where you want to go

    Up is where you belong

    …Life is a mountain we must climb!

    #881300
    Heshy
    Member

    So far “working harder” is the only one who understands what I was saying.

    I wasn’t unsympathetic on purpose.

    #881301
    shmoel
    Member

    I’d bet dollars to donuts that if the OP had been Chevy instead of Heshy, and she wrote the exact same OP except mentioning her husband said there is no other description than to describe her as stupid (after she wasn’t sympathetic enough), you’d have the same crowd above here telling Chevy to speak to a counselor with some posters subtly suggesting she consider divorce. The same crowd would be blaming the man whichever foot the shoe was on.

    Food for thought.

    #881302
    2scents
    Participant

    You should purposely try to be sympathetic.

    I ‘understand’ you, however I dont think that you are the one that has to be ‘undertsood’.

    #881303
    mommamia22
    Participant

    I think the question really is do you care how she feels?

    It sounds like she was reduced to calling you stupid because of the lack of thought that went into your response.

    Now you have to think about who’s needs you’re going to put first:yours or hers.

    Sarcasm is simply a way of further avoiding any thought of her needs.

    #881304
    yytz
    Participant

    Wives have a great need to tell their husbands all the details of their lives. Instead of just listening sympathetically, men have a tendency to criticize the wife or to tell her exactly how should fix things. This is a big mistake! It’s far better to just listen. It’s very important not to criticize your wife even in the slightest way — it is impossible to do this without her being very hurt and resenting you. See Rav Shalom Arush’s marriage manual.

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