Following Your Parents Instructions

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  • March 4, 2012 3:14 am at 3:14 am #602347
    avhaben
    Participant

    We are taught in halacha various orders of who to follow first. Like father before mother (unless divorced), parents before wife, husband before parents, etc.

    So, what commands from your parents, exactly, are you required to adhere and follow? If your father tells you to bring him a cup of water, must you bring him a cup of water (per Kibud Av V’Eim)? If he tells you to go to a certain Yeshiva? Learn Torah at a certain time? Marry a specific girl? Visit him once a week? Exercise once a day? Must you listen to him and follow all such instructions?

    March 4, 2012 3:20 am at 3:20 am #857112
    Logician
    Participant

    Did you lose your Rav’s number ?

    And what does your question have to do with your opening statement anyway ?

    March 4, 2012 4:12 am at 4:12 am #857113
    avhaben
    Participant

    The opening statement was proof that you gotta follow your parents command. (Otherwise, why would halacha have to tell you to do what your father wants before what your mother wants, if there’s a conflict.) Cause, otherwise someone might have argued that Kibud Av V’Eim only means “respect”, not adhere.

    March 4, 2012 4:18 am at 4:18 am #857114
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    These are good questions. IIRC, some opinions hold that you don’t have to obey unless it is something which affects them. But I’ve never really studied this.

    March 4, 2012 4:25 am at 4:25 am #857115
    more
    Member

    avhaben

    Member”We are taught in halacha various orders of who to follow first. Like father before mother (unless divorced), parents before wife, husband before parents, etc. “

    so if my husband has to listen to his parents before his wife what about his wife listening to her inlaws before her hubs cause she can’t listen to her parents before her hub?;)

    March 4, 2012 4:35 am at 4:35 am #857116
    Logician
    Participant

    ok, avhaben, didn’t get that. I think it says it clearly though, don’t need that proof.

    Thye basic idea of listening to them is because of repect – point is not to disobey. R’ Moshe therefore says that maybe its only in front of them – i.e. as soon as you leave your mother’s house, you can take the coat off.

    The questions about yeshiva is discussed in the poskim – def, don’t listen IF it’s clearly detrimental.

    March 4, 2012 6:31 am at 6:31 am #857117
    MiddlePath
    Participant

    I would think that if one’s wife and parents are conflicting in an issue, it would be better to listen to his wife rather than his parents.

    March 4, 2012 12:09 pm at 12:09 pm #857118
    mommamia22
    Participant

    Please elaborate on the part about a man listening to his parents before his wife…

    I don’t recall that.

    I can’t imagine that would be good for one’s marriage: ” sorry, honey, my mother said we should send little Chaim to the other school which you don’t like, so, I’m obligated to listen to her”. Huh?!?!

    March 4, 2012 2:01 pm at 2:01 pm #857119
    avhaben
    Participant

    That wasn’t my main point, but yeah, that’s the halacha. Gotta listen to Poppa before sweety for him, but gotta listen to hubby before Momma for her. Don’t know all the parameters how or when it applies, but that’s the default.

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