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daas yochid- thanks for your clarifications. Raphael kaufman,however, does not say anything about “the absolute worse” situaiton, meaning an actual relationship. OBVIOUSLY- in such a dire case, what you are writing is correct- and with an unmarried woman, there may be a ‘safeq’ kiddushin (kiddushie biah). He seems to say that just because of “yichud’ these results may occur. Read his post again- this is very clearly how I read it and this is why it seemed to me to be an extraordinary statement. By the way, if the relationship is “bemeizid” (consensual) then she can become ossur on her husband, regardless whether the husband is a kohen or a Yisroel.
rabbiofberlin,
The words “absolute worst” were taken directly from RK’s post.
Every ???? ???? creates a ??? ??????? I’ve never heard that before.
You called it ?????, I used the term “not an ?????”, we mean the same thing.
r-b,
Yes, I was restating it.
“Would her teacher also advise ignoring a poor man and not giving him tzedaka because it’s “not tzniyus” to talk to him?”
She sould give tzeduke but should not offer him to come in and have a drink, We live in a crazy world and scary things are happening all the time, a person needs to protect herself before doing chesed.
DY – TY
I was taught never to pick up hitchikers, unless it is someone I know.
daas Yochid- a quick reply before shabbos. The problem with consensual relations between unmarried partners rests upon the concept (gemoro) ” ein odom osse be’ilusoi bias zenus”. meaning that the man does not engage in it with the intention of consciously making an aveirah. Hence, it may be have the purpose of “kiddushin”
You are right, however, that today, “be-avonoisainu horabim” this gemoro would not be relevant as many people do ,indeed, make their relationship “bias zenus” and have absolutely no intention of “kiddushin”. I think that R’Moshe zz’l discusses this in some of his teshuvos, because it already was an issue many yeras ago.
rabbiofberlin,
I need to check, but I thought that the ???? was in context of ????? ???? being ???? a previous ????, and ????? ??? discussing ???? in the context of marriage (i.e. married civilly).
See ‘??”? ??”? ??”? ??’ ?.
Let me tell you about a true chessed that happened on Friday.
Buses were running late out of Port Authority. The bus was already 30 minutes late and although I had plenty of time, I was afraid the next one would be 30 minutes after that, making it hard to get home in time for Shabbos. So, at 7 months pregnant, I stood on the bus. About halfway through the ride, I felt like I was going to pass out and a man gave me his seat.
However, I still felt really sick when I got off the bus. I wasn’t sure I was going to make the 3.5 blocks home. I nearly stopped in at my cousins house to ask him to drive me. But my neighbor pulled up and offered me a ride. Bless him! I stumbled inside and my husband took good care of me, but I am honestly not sure I would have made it home without that short ride.
So consider the chesed.
SJS -Bishah Tova
hitchhiking is dangerous. picking up hitchhikers is also dangerous. If both parties know each other it’s generally not dangerous, but there could be Yichud issues if it’s late at night or on deserted roads. I think community norms also factor in.
I don’t think too many people would have a problem with a seven month expectant mother, who can barely stand, getting a three and a half block ride with a male neighbor who she knows to be safe. Feel good, and bisha’ah tova.
anyone need a ride to the swamp? I’m harmless. For an ogre.
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