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any advice on how to stop feeling depressed?
Ask your doctor. Get your blood tested.
A few suggestions
1)make a learning time for Sefer Chovos Halevavos (duties of the heart) which will help you have faith and trust in Hashem and thereby accept all situations and incidents that occur in life with love and trust
2)from a physical perspective “look at everything and every situation as positive and for the good ” you thereby should have no reason for bringing depression upon yourself.
Hatzlacha Raba
Another suggestion:
Don’t listen to anything Mashiach Agent says.
I know that sounds sarcastic and rude, but I’m serious. Someone is coming asking for help with a serious mental health issue, and you give garbage advice that would never be given by any legitimate mental health professional, or Rav for that matter (assuming they really understand depression).
Please see a doctor or licensed mental health professional.
According to the DSM 5, these are the diagnostic symptoms for depression:
Depressed mood or a loss of interest or pleasure in daily activities for more than two weeks.
1. Depressed mood or irritable most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report
(e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful).
2. Decreased interest or pleasure in most activities, most of each day
3. Significant weight change (5%) or change in appetite
4. Change in sleep: Insomnia or hypersomnia
5. Change in activity: Psychomotor agitation or retardation
6. Fatigue or loss of energy
7. Guilt/worthlessness: Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt
8. Concentration: diminished ability to think or concentrate, or more indecisiveness
9. Suicidality: Thoughts of death or suicide, or has suicide plan
MA, your advice is good for someone who feels a bit down one day. Not someone who is depressed.
every person still needs to do their hishtadlus (part) in life & “a person cannot-just sit back & (not work or go tot the dr. if sick)-depend on miracles
Well, MA, learning Chovos Halevavos when one should be going to the doctor is relying on miracles.
(It is a beautiful sefer, but not a cure for depression!)
Mental illness and depression is not caused by “a lack of emunah” it is a real disease, if someone had cancer would your tell them to learn Sefer Chovos Halevavos and not go to the doctor?
sparkly, I think you need to give a little more background if you want helpful advice. Trying to put things together from your various posts recently, I am assuming that you heard bad news recently, involving someone who committed suicide, and that you are really shaken up by this. Am I right? Are you seeking advice on how to deal with this news, how it affects you, or are you referring to a general feeling of depression that has little to do with a specific event (that fits gofish’s definition)? The advice given would be very different for the two.
It is normal to feel depressed by bad news. If it is very bad, then a person might not be able to function normally, or think about anything else. But for an emotionally healthy person, this feeling should pass with time. In such a case, strengthening ones emuna by reading sefarim, getting chizuk to put things in perspective, can help.
Sparkly, I agree with Gofish on this, especially her last point. It doesn’t hurt to learn Chovos Halevavos in addition, but that should not be the only hishtadlus you do right now.
Sparkly – anyone who goes through some kind of trauma should definitely speak to a therapist. If you know someone who committed suicide, that definitely qualifies as trauma and definitely requires at least one session with a psychologist.
Hatzlacha Rabba and best wishes for a Gut gebentched yor! (please excuse the poor yiddish spelling)
Therapists are bound by confidentiality, so no one besides him or her will ever know.
wow, that’s really tough! But I’m not sure why that should stop you from getting help. Is the issue that you need to tell your parents that you want to see a therapist and you don’t want to tell them why? If that’s the case, can you tell them you want to see a therapist without giving a reason?
Depression can be caused by physical illness.
make the appointment yourself or go to a different therapist.
I’m allergic to depression, someone who is C”V depressed is telling Hashem i don’t trust you Hashem that-whatever just happened that caused me to go into depression-everything Hashem does is for the good. That means the person doesn’t have faith & trust in Hashem, which is the KEY TO LIFE in yiddishkeit of being a true yid
Sparkly – then we have to find another way to go about this. Can you make the appointment yourself? Do you have the name and number of a good therapist? Do you have a way to pay if you make the appointment yourself?
Sparkly – I’m a bit surprised that your mother won’t make the appointment. You have mentioned in the past that she thought you should have a mentor.
Do you know why she won’t make the appointment?
MA – if I were in Sparkly’s situation, your comments would make me more depressed!
Depression cannot be caused by an online comment.
RebYidd23- true, but it can be exacerbated by an online comment.
RebYidd23- it can definitely be worsened!
Spunk – thanks! your vocabulary usage is better than mine – I couldn’t think of the right word.
Mashgiach agent,
Seriously, just go somewhere else to spread your garbage. This is not the place.
Sparkly, I wrote before “Sparkly – then we have to find another way to go about this. Can you make the appointment yourself? Do you have the name and number of a good therapist? Do you have a way to pay if you make the appointment yourself?”
Please let me know the answers to these questions. I want to try to help you. If the answer to either of these questions is no, I will have to try to come up with another idea.
Also, do you know why your mother is reluctant to make the call?
Sparkly – can you speak to your Rav about it? Or is there any other adult you can talk to? Maybe one of your older siblings or another relative? A family friend? If you’re uncomfortable, you don’t have to give them the reason. It really has become very acceptable nowadays to go for therapy. It was even offered as a prize in OORAH’S last auction! You can just say that something happened recently that you feel you want to discuss with someone. Or that you have a lot of crucial life decisions to make and you want to discuss them with someone.
I just realized who you can call! Call Relief in Lakewood! They are a referral service for therapists. They can give you a referral and they may also be able to help you out with the financial part. It’s completely anonymous – you don’t have to give them your name if you don’t want to. They seem like they are really good. They do tons of research to determine which therapists are good, and which ones are good for which issues.
Let me know what happens. Hatzlacha Rabba!
732-905-1605.
How was your Rosh Hashana, Sparkly? I thought about you a lot, and I had you in mind when I davened.
Sparkly – please keep me updated. Let me know if you call Relief and they are able to help.
Sparkly, I’m really happy for you that this girl was able to help you! That’s fantastic! But I still think that it is important for you to find a therapist to speak to as well. In my opinion, this is a serious issue and not one that can be resolved through one conversation with someone. You know how Gofish told you that growth is a process? She was referring to spiritual growth, but it is true for emotional growth as well – in fact, even more so. In general, I think that therapy is good idea for most people, especially at your stage of life. I wish that I had had the opportunity to go for therapy at your age.
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