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- This topic has 61 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 8 years ago by Lilmod Ulelamaid.
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November 15, 2016 4:33 am at 4:33 am #1196327LightbriteParticipant
I understood what lilmod ulelamaid meant. It makes sense to me in context.
Thank you. Yes if being tznius was all fine and dandy with me then I could easily be like, “Yay I rock this mitzvah and it’s so important! Why don’t other people just get it? Gosh.” I wouldn’t need to empathize with anyone who may find it challenging.
But it’s not easy and part of me wants to scrap the whole idea. Even so, I am aware that yes I am biased and my attempts at disproving may be a response to the difficulty at hand. I can fight it by proving that it’s unimportant, or flight it by saying “Peace out tznius.”
Instead I am trying to work through it, whatever that means.
Thank you again
November 15, 2016 6:34 am at 6:34 am #1196328Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantLightbrite, I just looked back at your post and realize that there are some things I MUST comment on, despite the fact that I don’t know if you read my lengthy post yet:
“Also I guess what is most difficult to swallow is that I can basically, theoretically, increase in mitzvot on all fronts. Yet it won’t mean anything or indicate my Yiras Shamayim if I am un-tznius? I thought that each mitzvah has value, big or small we are not the judge of what’s most valuable to Hashem.”
Chas v’shalom that you should think that your each and every Mitzvah does not have tremendous value!!! You are right that every Mitzvah has value and we can’t judge what is most valuable to Hashem.
What we do know is that every little Mitzvah has tremendous value to Hashem – much more than we can ever imagine!
Focus on the positive – on the tremendous joy you bring Hashem with every little Mitzvah that you do. Every Mitzvah that you do has incomparable value to Hashem and you are bringing joy to the Shechina in a way that no one else can since no one else can do YOUR Mitzvos, and Hashem wants LIGHTBRITE’S Mitzvos, and no one else can do them!
Your weaknesses do NOT take away from your Mitzvos! We all have weaknesses, we all do aveiros, but that does not take away from our inherent Holiness and the Simcha we bring Hashem with each and every Mitzvah!
November 15, 2016 9:51 am at 9:51 am #1196329Abba_SParticipantComlink-X – Try Chapter 75. This is only talking about what you can’t see when praying.
It doesn’t say anything about a chiyuv for women there, Abba_S
(which is what Lilmod Ulelamaid said she knows to be in the M”B).
I don’t believe the obligation to dress modestly is in Mishna Brurrah but the Chafetz Chaim ZT”L probably said it in his writings. I seem to remember reading that he said most of the problem that the Jewish people got was brought on due to immodest dress. The prohibition for immodest dress is based on the prohibition of placing a stumbling block in front of a blind man. Immodest dress results in immoral thoughts to those who see it and a breakdown in society.
November 15, 2016 1:23 pm at 1:23 pm #1196330Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantSorry for not answering the question yet – I haven’t had a chance to look into yet, but I haven’t forgotten about it.
November 30, 2016 11:26 pm at 11:26 pm #1196332LightbriteParticipantThank you so much for the book recommendation lilmod ulelamaid <3
It came in the other day and I just skimmed through some of it. Yays.
Sending you blessings always 🙂
December 1, 2016 12:12 am at 12:12 am #1196333Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantLB- thanks for letting me know. I hope you enjoy it!
And thanks for the blessings. btw, what does the arrow with the number 3 mean? I’ve been wondering.
December 1, 2016 12:55 am at 12:55 am #1196334LightbriteParticipantIt’s a sideways heart (what people did before emoticons)
December 1, 2016 2:54 am at 2:54 am #1196335LightbriteParticipant?
December 1, 2016 4:05 am at 4:05 am #1196336Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantcool. I like hearts.
December 4, 2016 7:18 am at 7:18 am #1196337LightbriteParticipantlilmod ulelamaid: I’m sorry; the book also explained reasons for a woman who is divorced to keep hair covered, regardless of whether or not someone says to keep it for shidduchim. It’s even a higher status symbol than having it uncovered.
You said that you encouraged someone to keep her head covering after she divorced, which would also be good for chinuch. I said that maybe it would be better to take it off and she could teach her children to listen to her rav and blah blah blah. I see that my reasoning failed to take into account a multitude of benefits and holiness that the decision to keep her hair covered could have and may project.
Sorry I now better understand your argument. A great one at that! Thank you for still hearing me out and being receptive to discussion. Yasher koach!
December 4, 2016 1:41 pm at 1:41 pm #1196338Lilmod UlelamaidParticipant“You said that you encouraged someone to keep her head covering after she divorced, which would also be good for chinuch”
Just for the record, that lady was widowed, not divorced. Also, just for the record, I am not sure that there is even a reliable source for someone who was previously married to uncover her hair. Even though she told me that a Rav told her she doesn’t have to, I have no idea who this Rav was. There are a lot of Rabbbanim out there, and they are not all reliable.
In any case, I still would have told her what I told her, even if there really is a reliable source for uncovering one’s hair in such a case. But I don’t want you to have the impression that there really is a source for uncovering one’s hair if one is widowed or divorced. I do not know if there is or not.
December 4, 2016 1:42 pm at 1:42 pm #1196339Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantLB- as always, I am very impressed by your intellectual honesty, positive attitude, openness to hearing new ideas, and gratitude.
I am glad to hear that you learned something from the book.
Shkoyach! 🙂
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