Favorites lines from Shmuel Kunda Z"L tapes

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  • #605274

    What are your Favorites lines from all shmuel kunda Z’L tapes?

    #1210926

    I can’t believe he’s gone :'(

    “Em…em…howaya you. My name is Mista Osbourne. And I’m an official for the Housing Department…”

    “How many times a night can a two year old get thirsty?” “About levendy six?”

    #1210927
    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator
    #1210928
    Bowwow
    Participant

    Wookie Jookie !

    #1210929
    BaalHabooze
    Participant

    “and since when do I take orders from a fish?”

    Heyyya Frrranky

    #1210930
    midwesterner
    Participant

    Wookie jooky comes from Marvelous Midos Machine by Abie Rottenberg.

    My favorite Kunda line is when Mayor Figalely La Gardenhose says, “And that’s a campaign promise!”

    #1210931
    miritchka
    Member

    I’m calling on behalf of yeshiva lilmod u’lilamed…lishmar v’la’asos…ulekayeim…es kol divrei…talmud torasecha…b’ahava!

    Heshy? He-eshy? He-sheeee! Are you sleeping?!

    And now more than ever i use this line: How many times a night can a 2 year old get thirsty?!

    I also loved his tapes, and I don’t doubt that he and his family are proud of them. I just feel like we can wait until the man is buried before his death becomes a reason to tell jokes.

    Thread closed. Reopen after shiva.

    #1210932
    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    Opened

    #1210933
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    In this time we forgot all the lines.

    It’s starting to come back now, slowly.

    I think the first one is “Light is compared to the Torah” – 613 Torah Avenue – Breishis. (is that his first?)

    then there’s

    v’ahavta l’reiacha k’mocha… I’m loosing the place.

    #1210934
    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    YW Moderator-42-

    Thanks for unlocking this thread.

    Why limit it to our favorite lines from his tapes? Why not have a favorite line from every category?

    Here are mine:

    Favorite line from a story tape (because I can relate to it so well):

    I got a great report card from Rabbi Lomnitz,

    I got a great report card from Mrs. Kurtz,

    Favorite line from a Shabbos Afternoon (August 26th 1989) story at the steps of the Camp Naarim dining room:

    (after the laughter calmed down)

    Favorite line said to him by an 8 year old (my little brother):

    Favorite line he said to me:

    Favorite line that backfired:

    #1210935
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    Dr. Pepper – thanks

    #1210936
    midwesterner
    Participant

    “And that’s a campaign promise!!” Mayor Figalely La Gardenhose, When Zaidy was Young, Vol II

    #1210937
    RN2012
    Member

    Zeidy… your uncle, is a door??

    #1210938
    Yatzmich
    Member

    After shpritzing seltzer in the guest’s face:

    “I said I was I’m sorry!”

    #1210939
    #1210940

    My Popa Eatsa Pasta

    Yamo Yamo

    #1210941
    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    “That sir, is my hat”

    “So it is, so it is, but is it Kosher?”

    #1210942
    postsemgirl
    Member

    Where’s the pipe that turns New Jersey? (There’s Zaidy)

    #1210943
    gotbeer
    Participant

    “Tell me a state that starts with the letter ‘V'”. “Villiamsburg”. No Virginia, spell Virginia 50 times”

    #1210944
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    Let’s not forget Zelda, Zarina and all other female characters. I actually know her (????? ?????).

    I’d gladly sweep the steps if I had a broom. (menorah)

    You gotta be practical.. No moping, you gotta be coping.

    Since when do I take orders from a fish.

    The head works better when the stomach is full..

    I still have my doubts…(daring disguise)

    #1210945
    OnlyTheTruth
    Participant

    My daughter likes.

    One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi,

    #1210946
    computerbagels
    Participant

    ….Only 2 weeks old and already he’s sleeping through the night.

    Baby – what baby?! I’m talking about my son-in-law !

    #1210947

    When the boy traveled with hes zeidy to Israel, on the plane the boy tried pulling the seat belt and hears an old man from behind him:

    ” hey boy, thoj are my shoshpenders”

    and the famous line of the shabbos tape “take a bath or a shower but don’t take an hour…on erev shabbos…”

    all parents around! keep chinuch books on the side and buy shmuel kunda tapes! the best chinuch techniques ever!!

    #1210948
    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    It’s like purim, without sneakews. …

    Right, like purim without yom kippur!

    #1210949
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    (isn’t a Mod supposed to be a serious personality?)

    #1210950
    CH3-CH2-OH
    Member

    Here are mine:

    Person 1: “He’s as honest as the sky is blue.”

    Person 2: “He’s as honest as the grass is green.”

    Person 3: “Uh… He’s as honest as my hat is purple.”

    Person 2: “Your hat is brown!”

    Person 3: “Uh… if my hat were purple, that’s as honest he’d be.”

    From Papa and the Prince (I think)

    Here’s another (from Royal Rescue):

    “Don’t you know you cannot order him?”

    “And why not?”

    “Because, eh, he’s out of order!”

    And how about

    “Don’t stop like a toad

    in middle of the road!

    Continue with the episode!”

    (Funny mainly because of the English accent)

    Thank you Reb Shmuel! Your tapes were a major part of my childhood. My siblings and I quote them in conversation till today.

    #1210951
    frumnotyeshivish
    Participant

    Unfortunately, I don’t know the back of my hand too well…

    #1210952
    Think first
    Member

    I don’t think Wednesday night is a good night for a bath, uncle Isadore!

    He bit off my foot , he but off my leg( lots of sounds) he’s a carnivorous I telya!

    I told you Wednesday night wast a good time for a bath,

    Heshy!!

    I’m sorry mama.

    Awsome!!!!

    #1210954
    Spunk
    Member

    Love it!

    Bowwow and OnlytheTruth- aren’t those lines from MMM?

    #1210955
    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    My name is pinchas, not pinch-os, I don’t pinch anybody.

    #1210956
    🐵 ⌨ Gamanit
    Participant

    “Are you home?”

    “I’m NOT home!”

    “You can’t fool me… I see the light on in your kitchen, so I know you’re home”

    #1210957
    Oh Shreck!
    Participant

    What are MODs doing on such a silly thread. Aren’t they supposed to be somber, solemn, serious?!?

    Does Editor know you can be humorous? Ok, ok, I won’t tell. (someone’s parnasah..)

    #1210958
    Little Froggie
    Participant

    Rebbe (muvhak)! How I miss you!!

    #1210959
    fathousewife
    Participant

    since when do I take orders from a fish

    #1210960

    Slabodka is not in Russia. It’s in Lithuania. (Not a line.)

    #1210961
    pcoz
    Member

    I am always humorous

    Especially when you don’t mean to be

    #1210962
    Yserbius123
    Participant

    I gained a new appreciation for the tapes when my kids started listening to them. My father’s favorite part was the Shabbos guest (I forget his name) from “Baruch Learns about Shabbos” who spends 5 minutes listing out his entire family including “Rrrosy mit der runny nosey”.

    I laughed a lot at the theme song (Lower East Side Anthem) from the first “When Zaidy was Young”. “We would handel on the price/Then return the merchandise/in that crowded little corner of New York!”

    #1210963
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    I really liked those baruch tapes. My favorite is probably the shabbos zemiros song that includes the tunes from different zemiros.

    #1210965
    itzypitchy
    Member

    Anyone know which album this song was on? It went something like “In the days of the rishonim, … of the acharonim, in the days – in the days of the rishonim, … of the acharonim”. I’d love to get my hands on that album. If anybody can let me know the name of the album, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks.

    #1210966

    I think The Royal Rescue.

    Welcome to the CR.

    #1210967

    He is correct.

    #1210968
    B1g B0y
    Participant

    I don’t care I don’t care vere you vas born (Mr Genukschoin to Mr Osbourne)

    #1210969
    B1g B0y
    Participant

    Well with an invitation like that how could I refuse?

    (MR Mayor’s response to Mr Genukschoin)

    #1210970
    skripka
    Participant

    the entire ” if everything’s impossible and you don’t know why

    ‘ song. i was going through a very dark period in my life, hurting lots of people and myself in so mny ways. i was very depressed, not knowing where to turn. while babysitting a niece i heard the song and it really struck a chord in what i thought was a soul beyond repair, a soul without hope. from that moment on, i felt like a changed person. reb shmuel, i owe you my life, seriously

    #1210971
    fathousewife
    Participant

    And since when do I take orders from a fish????

    #1210972
    Geordie613
    Participant

    Our family always talks about “bullzoders”.

    #1210973
    YesOrNo
    Participant

    I told you Wednesday night is not a good night for a bath Uncle Isadore…

    #1210974
    Geordie613
    Participant

    Chazoras haschnapps

    #1210975
    Geordie613
    Participant

    On When Zaidy was young vol 3, there is a beautiful song called “Goodbye my little village”. It’s worth a listen even for people who don’t want to hear the whole story.

    #1210976
    Pro Jews
    Member

    But Mama, that scarf’s as long as East Broadwaaay

    Yes Mama

    He’s the mayor he’s the mayor…the people just can’t wait till he’ll retire!

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