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December 20, 2010 1:39 am at 1:39 am #593596notedaskanMember
Do our children belong on Facebook?
December 20, 2010 5:58 am at 5:58 am #719159Trying my bestMemberIf you don’t mind predators getting hold of them, or your children running into all sorts of other evils, then go for it.
December 20, 2010 5:59 am at 5:59 am #719160Brooklyn YentaParticipantNO!!! there has developed an interior culture with facebook that is dangerous. people can connect to basically anyone, and the people that are into it post just about every breath they take.
December 20, 2010 6:49 am at 6:49 am #719161smartcookieMemberIf you monitor them well, and know EXACTLY who their friends are in real life, then maybe.
December 20, 2010 7:26 am at 7:26 am #719163wanderingchanaParticipantWhat do YOU think?
December 20, 2010 8:25 am at 8:25 am #719164haifagirlParticipantOnly if you are with them the ENTIRE time they are online, and you don’t give them the password.
December 20, 2010 11:49 am at 11:49 am #719165eclipseMemberNo.I was literally forced to get a computer,very much against my will,for parnassah reasons.My compromise: a “teeny” netbook,which gets folded up and kept away from casual use.(I allow myself the YWN CR!)My teenage girls have access to Facebook in other locations,but one can only be responsible for so much.You do what you can do.Having checked it out JUST TO SEE WHAT IT ACTUALLY IS,I was pretty worried…and I did mention to one of my girls that a guy(sigh,yes guy)who posts an utterly vulgar photograph with his name is probably a good “friend”to block.She agreed.I trust they will both use (inherited?)seichel to make wise choices.Trust…and PRAY!
December 20, 2010 2:14 pm at 2:14 pm #719167jewish sourceParticipantFB should be Asur for everyone bechol Loshon Shehu, it is the absolute biggest danger for a frum yid, even lehavdil for goyoim.
If you want to use the internet for bad its available but FB makes it easy,makes it look like its OK,FB is like going into a mixed gym Vchulu , and its up and personal.More important than forbidding the internet, the Rabanim should focus in on the individual most problematic web site for the regular average person. FB is the Machla of this generation we have to eradicate it. My personal issue is I deactivated my account but I know that if I log back in everything will be there as it was there before. I wish there was a way to deactivate it and loosing all the information there that would be real step in the right direction.
December 20, 2010 2:23 pm at 2:23 pm #719168SJSinNYCMemberFacebook is a tool. I don’t friend people I don’t know.
Its possible to use Facebook improperly. Its possible to use it properly.
Be aware if your child says “I’ll friend you” they can still block you from seeing a lot. So if you let them have it, make sure you have access to the password.
Another consideration is that if you say no, they may do it behind your back. Some family kids did that and lets just say…they didn’t use facebook properly. Their parents just dug their head into the sand and ignored the internet and their kids using it for a long time. Luckily, they grew up and have outgrown most of that.
December 20, 2010 2:31 pm at 2:31 pm #719169RSRHMemberI’m not quite sure I understand what the problem is. I have had Facebook for many years, and I find it to be a wonderful tool. I have met and interacted with people I never would have met in actual life. These interactions have served to challenge my ideas, refine my thoughts, influence others, and enjoy access to a wealth of valuable information familiar to my “friends,” but which I myself would have never dreamed of.
Facebook is a tool. Like all tools (knives, gins, hammers, computers, telescopes, cars, and yes, the CR!) it may be used for bad or for good.
If our children are capable of using the valuable tool for positive and constructive purposes, and are able to identify and resist negative influences (as we hope they do each day walking down the street, going into a store to buy some coffee, or do some research for school in the library or online), then by all means, let them be on Facebook. Let them broaden their knowledge and horizons; let them interact with those that are different then themselves. If they can’t handle the challenge, best to deny them this outlet. Though if we do, we had best be prepared to restrict them from other tempting scenarios like riding the subway or bus, walking down a city street, going to the library, reading a book that we have not pre-approved, meeting new friends, and enjoying some recreational time without big-brother (mother/father) literally looking over their shoulder.
December 20, 2010 2:52 pm at 2:52 pm #719170mikehall12382MemberDecember 20, 2010 3:25 pm at 3:25 pm #719171Trying my bestMemberGuns can be used for good.
Every kid a .22
December 20, 2010 3:25 pm at 3:25 pm #719172dunnoMembermikehall12382
Exactly.
December 20, 2010 3:34 pm at 3:34 pm #719173aries2756ParticipantFacebook is fine for adults with seichel. But “NO” children young enough to be under your care should not be on Facebook! They meet friends of friends they would never meet on their own. They read things they shouldn’t and they write things they shouldn’t. ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, WITHOUT A DOUBT NO!
If your child is already there, you truly have to monitor them very, very carefully and you had better become one of their facebook friends so you can log on at any time and see what is going on with them. That is akin to be in the living room with them when their friends are over!
December 20, 2010 3:57 pm at 3:57 pm #719174boredstiffParticipantI heard a speech by Dr. phil Rosenthal ( i think that was his name ) all about internet usuage and teens. He is a online cop, and told us all kinds of stories. I think once you hear him, you wont let your kids have a facebook account. He was really good, but scary!
December 20, 2010 4:06 pm at 4:06 pm #719175real-briskerMemberWhy is it only a question for kids? What about adults?
December 20, 2010 4:20 pm at 4:20 pm #719176MDGParticipantI heard a class on LearnTorah.com where the Rabbi said, quoting a divorce attorney, that 30% of all divorce papers filed nowadays have the word “facebook” in them. The Rabbi said that it should be called “open bar”.
December 20, 2010 6:52 pm at 6:52 pm #719177dunnoMemberMDG
That’s really interesting. Do you have any idea who the attorney is?
December 20, 2010 7:16 pm at 7:16 pm #719178popa_bar_abbaParticipantOf course the divorce papers have facebook on them. That is how people communicate today.
50 years ago they had telephone on them, before that they had pony express, and before that they had juliet on the balcony.
December 20, 2010 7:27 pm at 7:27 pm #719179haifagirlParticipantI was very close with my aunt and uncle. I’m not so close with their children. However, via Facebook I became friends with the grandchildren.
If it hadn’t been for Facebook I never would have been so aware of what was happening toward the end, or what the funeral arrangements were.
I was able to reconnect with so many relatives (and old friends) with whom I had lost touch.
Facebook is one of the greatest things that ever happened to me.
December 20, 2010 7:30 pm at 7:30 pm #719180whatrutalkingabtMembereven alot of goyim are realizing that Facebook is doing them more harm than good
December 20, 2010 7:40 pm at 7:40 pm #719181December 20, 2010 7:43 pm at 7:43 pm #719182SacrilegeMemberAnything can be abused. If used correctly Facebook can be a great tool.
December 20, 2010 7:49 pm at 7:49 pm #719183whatrutalkingabtMemberThanks YW Editor-
That was one of the articles I read that I was referring to.
December 20, 2010 8:06 pm at 8:06 pm #719185shtusimParticipantThere are MANY pitfalls with FB.
1 – even if you see your children, you don’t know who their friends ‘friends” are. they can be in contact through a “friend” and you don’t even know.
2 – Shalom Bayis – the young wife is at home with the baby and she is bored. so she OPENS A FACE BOOK ACCOUNT. – Now she spends hours online schmoozing with TOTAL Strangers.
3 – Girls and Boys in Shidduchim – You get a bad reputation!
I know of several cases where the boy or girl was turned down, because of “OH THEM – they’re on FACE BOOK all the time”
4 – YENTAS – Just because you want to tell Chanie what you made for supper that night, THE REST OF THE WORLD DOESN’T! If you want to talk to someone PICK UP A PHONE!!!! ONCE ITS ON FACE BOOK (OR THE INTERNET) EVERYBODY CAN SEE IT!!!
BE SMART & CAREFUL!!!!
December 20, 2010 8:14 pm at 8:14 pm #719186dunnoMembershtusim
1 – You are only friends with people you confirm. You can talk to anyone through messaging on Facebook (not in all cases), email, texting, calling, etc. This is not a problem with Facebook.
2 – What “total” strangers is she talking to? Facebook is meant to connect friends and as I said before, friends must be confirmed by both sides.
3 – True.
4 – Some people don’t care if everyone (that they’re friends with) sees what they made for supper. There’s nothing wrong with that.
“Be smart and careful”
Definitely. As with everything in life.
December 20, 2010 8:18 pm at 8:18 pm #719187cherrybimParticipantAs heard from a Rav, Facebook is a “Heicha Timtza” that was made available so that the populations of the world will all know in an instant when Moshiach comes.
December 20, 2010 9:10 pm at 9:10 pm #719188jewish sourceParticipantMoshiach I’YH WILL NOT NEED FB
I am not sure if at all those that use FB or the internet in ways that causes Bitul Torah will merit seeing Moshiach times without propper teshuvah. Be Smart
December 20, 2010 10:02 pm at 10:02 pm #719189dunnoMemberjewish source
I think he has a profile already.
December 20, 2010 10:44 pm at 10:44 pm #719190wanderingchanaParticipantI don’t know if Hashem has a FB profile, but he does have some fan pages!
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