Home › Forums › Shidduchim › entering "the market"
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July 30, 2012 6:00 am at 6:00 am #604337here i goMember
some feelings and some fears
that occupy my heart
some thoughts and worries in my mind
refusing to depart:
who am i? what do i want?
what values do i hold?
where am i now? am i just stuck
trying to fit a mold?
will i always be chasing
a life that is dream…
happily married, bills all paid
fridge stocked and house clean
while i run out to work each day
to get an income earned
so that my gadol hador husband
can sit all day and learn…
a life of torah, yes i want!!
PLEASE don’t get me wrong!
i dream of a home that is built
on a foundation that is strong
a foundation of solid learning
an understanding of halacha
ahava and yiras hashem
emuna and good hashkafa
these are not words i memorized
for the list of things to say
to any person that might ask
what i look for in a date
These are my sincerest wishes
It is a life that i desire
I want a partner that shares my goals
of growing and reaching higher…
but the lifestyle described above,
is it something that exists?
can a family really manage
if on one income they subsist?
can the wife really be coping
while juggling each chore?
can she be ready with a smile
when her tzadik walks through the door?
i do not mock the system
i want it with all my heart
it just doesn’t seem real to me
any wise words to impart???
July 30, 2012 7:16 am at 7:16 am #900172SayIDidIt™ParticipantWOW! That was very good!
SiDi™
July 30, 2012 6:00 pm at 6:00 pm #900173CuriosityParticipantThat was good! Why do you feel that you need to be married to a gadol hador? Do you believe it is a shortcoming on your end if you marry a normal mentch who is shomer Torah umitzvot and growing?
July 30, 2012 7:39 pm at 7:39 pm #900174golferParticipanthig-
Great poem!
Wise words? Not really…
This seems to be the dilemma of your generation.
Just make sure you’re doing what works to keep Your home, Your spouse, Your kids & Yourself content, calm, accomplishing & breathing.
Make sure you’re not chasing after some theoretical societal norm that doesn’t work in your own daled amos.
October 19, 2012 4:06 pm at 4:06 pm #900175WiseyParticipantThat sounds very nice too bad I’m only twenty or I’d ask for your number.
October 19, 2012 5:21 pm at 5:21 pm #900176crisisoftheweekMemberNo, a frum family can not subsist on one income from a entry to midlevel job.
Good Luck!
October 21, 2012 4:37 pm at 4:37 pm #900177Think firstMemberHere I go- your poem shows real emotion and uncertainess. It seems you are looking for that special guy who in your words “I want a partner that shares my goals
of growing and reaching higher…”
Stop looking for the gadol hador, and look for what you want. It’s your life, you seem like you put thought into life and what you would be comfortable with, you don’t look forward to supporting your family single handedly. So don’t look for someone where that will be your role. Look for the type of guy you’ll be happy with and dont think about what people will think or say because that lasts a few minutes and your spouse, a lifetime. Follow your heart on this one. If you’re wondering though, is it possible for me marry a man that has an appreciation for Torah, Halacha and hashkafa and will also be able to support me one day while I care for my children? The answer is that it exists. You can marry a man who will have all that and support you too.
He’ll……
Love you
Care for you
Care for your children
Support your family financially
Learn torah
Instill good hashkafa in your home
Be the role model for your children
Be a growing man
Be your partner in life
Be the protector of your home
You can marry someone where …
” I want a partner that shares my goals
of growing and reaching higher…”
…….will be true
But he may not be a Rosh Yeshiva…
October 22, 2012 12:31 am at 12:31 am #900178dhl144Membernice job on the poem…
I recently entered the MARKET also but after 2 dates with one girl and she said no I decided I am rushing into dating a little too fast and no need for that 🙂 my zivug is not running away ahe will be there as soon as the right time comes that Hashem wants me too meet her (I am only 21 and male) I have no worries that at the right time Hashem will send my rightful zivug and at the right time I will be’ezrat Hashem start a wonderful family of my own…Just keeep davening and Hashem will do the rest…Please never worry… that would be a terrible lack of FAITH…All the best & wonderful job on the poem…Hang in there.
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