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I’m sure this has been discussed before, but I don’t recall the consensus of opinion. Apologies to those who feel this is an old issue.
As people expand their level of observance as well as their knowledge of the kosher food industry, different standards of what is acceptable emerge. Even children who leave home to start their own families may adopt different standards than they experienced growing up.
How do folks deal with this, say, when they consider invitations to visit for Shabbos or Yom Tov? It’s more complicated regarding parents/in-laws than friends due to issues of shalom bayis.
I suppose one simply compromises on “chumros”, but if you’ve decided that hashgacha XYZ cannot be brought into your home and your host feels otherwise, you have a conundrum.
Do young children understand why Zaidy eats XYZ when Tatie said not to?
Is Pesach different than the rest of the year?
I was always told that if someone tells you thier food is kosher and they are knowledgable in halacha, you can trust them.
If you have specific requirements (like CY or Bais Yosef) you can ask the person before hand.
My sister and BIL are more machmir than I am, so when they come I either don’t serve them certain things or preprare it the way they want. There are certain items they don’t eat at other people unless they know the people eat it a certain way. They just don’t make a big deal about it.
Pesach is definately different as there are so many different minhagim and chumras.
This happens in my family all the time. I and the Mrs adopted cholov yisroel, my parents and sisters did not.
So when invited for a milchig meal, the host goes thru the effort of not serving us (nor cooking with) cholov stam. They do NOT use different pots or cutlery (yes, we eat on disposable plates).
After all, its not like they cooked traif; its a chumrah and we chose to adopt it, so they accomodate it. Not much differnt than someone who is counting calories or limiting their sat fat intake. You don’t have to be obnoxious about your chumros. If you’re upfront about your needs, people will try to work with you.
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