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When do you decide that you want to stop arguing a certain point?
When it gets repetitive and boring…
When the other side admits that I’m right.
When they’re called in to collect evidence…
agree with gamanit
(someone’s testing my resolve)
My focus here is not to prove my point but rather to state it. I respond to an argument only when I think there is something left to clarify. I hardly have in mind the one I’m addressing
Not at all nice of you, HaLeiVi. You don’t have me in mind. Where’s you mentchlichkeit? Where’s you bein adam lchaveiro? And you go to pray (and daven too) three times daily as if you’re a righteous, pious tzaddik, not having me in mind. I call that a <DELE [undeleted] hypocrite.
When I win
You don’t have to wait for to get repetitive to realize that the person wants to believe their point and they simply don’t want to agree.
I once had an argument with someone and I felt like I was hitting a wall. I asked him why he wants to hold that way. When he told me straight out what his motivation was I was able to deal with that directly and he was able to agree.
I’m done when I find that people will keep responding to peripheral comments, or take apart and pick at words instead of addressing the topic. And If I’ve explained it twice and they can’t “hear” me, I usually will let it go. I may love discussions, but I hate arguments.
When you have made your point continuously and they still don’t chap it. It’s no use.
Halevi has a good point, find another way to say it.
sm29 – agreed. I think I meant that but you said it better.
I didn’t mean to say it another way. That’s what we all do, anyhow. What I am saying is that although there are many people who simply want to be victorious even at the cost of foolish logic, not everyone is that way.
When you are hitting a wall in an argument (i.e. when your point is repeatedly dismissed without much of a counterpoint), it is obviously driven by some motivating factor. This factor can either be the desire to sound smarter or, more often, the view in argument might be born not from arguable logic, or from an understanding based on other factors which weren’t put into words.
The story I mentioned above was an argument with a friend. When I realized that reasoning didn’t change his mind, I asked him what is the real motivation to say what he says. Then we were able to deal with the real issue head on.
Good strategy.
Wait – was the question when SHOULD you, or when DO you?
Torah – are you saying that people should keep arguing until they agree with popa and gamanit?
Heard in an argument somewhere, far away,
“I would AGREE with you, but then we’d both be wrong!”
I like to switch my opinion sometimes, mid-fight, and suddenly take my wife’s side of the argument (she usually wins anyway, so I also want to be on the winning side occsionally).
She’s like “..but you CAN’T do that!!”, and I’m like “Of COURSE I can’t!!”
hehe, really throws her off, lol
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