Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Does seminary’s cause a shidduch crisis?
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February 24, 2020 10:52 pm at 10:52 pm #1835176ak98Participant
Does seminary’s cause a shidduch crisis?
February 25, 2020 12:39 am at 12:39 am #1835212☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲ParticipantMmmm, quality content.
February 25, 2020 12:41 am at 12:41 am #1835215pro geshmake yiddenParticipantDoes grammar mistakes?
February 25, 2020 7:48 am at 7:48 am #1835247UncleMoParticipantI don’t know but I haven’t yet figured out what good it does for Antoine but the families in EY who rely on it to make a living. What exactly does a girl walk away with that they didn’t already get in high school and/or that they cannot get in a US seminary????
February 25, 2020 7:51 am at 7:51 am #1835262PuhLeaseParticipantOh for the love of Pete…
HOW MANY ACCOUNTS DO YOU HAVE!?!?
<Eye Roll> It’s amazing… my eyeballs get so much exercise reading these pages thy are the most well developed muscles I have…
February 25, 2020 7:52 am at 7:52 am #1835266PuhLeaseParticipant@Rand0m3x
It just kind of hugs you, like a nice bowl of hot creamy soup on a freezing cold day. 🙂
February 25, 2020 7:52 am at 7:52 am #1835272Someone in MonseyParticipantUncleMo, spending a year in Eretz Yisroel, particularly immersed in Torah, is incomparable.
February 25, 2020 9:08 am at 9:08 am #18352801ParticipantYes
February 25, 2020 9:26 am at 9:26 am #1835310GadolhadorahParticipantNo….but repeated postings in frum media about a Fake News created “Shidduch Crisis” might eventually traumatize every 14 yo bas Yisroel who hasn’t yet locked-in her besschert (not to mention the stress level of her parents).
February 25, 2020 9:41 am at 9:41 am #1835315🍫Syag LchochmaParticipantNo….but repeated postings in frum media about a Fake News created “Shidduch Crisis” might eventually traumatize every 14 yo bas Yisroel who hasn’t yet locked-in her besschert (not to mention the stress level of her parents).
3 votes for this one
{insert laughing emoji here}February 25, 2020 4:26 pm at 4:26 pm #1835481The little I knowParticipantDunno. But we gotta blame somebody. Any liberal Dems here who want to blame Trump? When we exhaust ourselves with these pursuits, we might stop relying on the dramas of the “Shidduch Crisis”, investigate to see if one indeed exists, and then propose strategies to make things better. Meanwhile, I am not convinced there is a crisis at the sociological level. I do know there are singles around, and actually know several. I have yet to see data that reflects anything that deserves to be considered a crisis, though the individual singles are certainly experiencing one.
February 25, 2020 7:21 pm at 7:21 pm #1835491yochyParticipantIi is definitely a crisis that 10% of girls remain single. Any person with any common sense knows many single girls and much fewer boys so that should tell you something. Even if you didn’t see data though, you should realize there has an issue because when boys continue to marry girls much younger – the numbers can’t be sustained because there will always be well more 19 year old girls than 23 and 24 years old boys. Only solution to this is to date close in age. So to answer your question seminary actually in part is the only mitigating factor that helps reduce the crisis- albeit not nearly enough or else girls would begin dating even younger. Actually theoretically if girls went for two or three years there would be even a smaller crisis . Of course that may not be very realistic and it would be much more ideal if boys starting dating at the time demanded of them by pirkei avos .
February 25, 2020 9:57 pm at 9:57 pm #1835527Shaindel6ParticipantShidduch crisis? I wish my 28 year old son – yes, a boy, male – would get married.
February 25, 2020 11:10 pm at 11:10 pm #1835543GadolhadorahParticipantShaindel6: Mazel tov on having a SON who is also “a male boy”…..he should hopefully find his beschert soon, .preferably someone’s daughter who is a girl and female.
February 26, 2020 9:56 am at 9:56 am #1835611🍫Syag LchochmaParticipantGH – she had a comma between male and boy. her point was obviously that there are also boys looking for shidduchim
February 26, 2020 4:15 pm at 4:15 pm #1835738lkwdstrongParticipantwait- am i slow or something ? why would seminary be causing the shidduch crisis ? girls should start shidduchim even earlier ???? that will just make the age gap even bigger and worsen the shidduch crisis, no ?
February 26, 2020 4:54 pm at 4:54 pm #1835759yochyParticipantlkwdstrong you are not slow but absolutely correct. It may not be a bad idea for the girls to band together and announce that if the boys don’t start dating earlier- they will not date until later- perhaps 21 or so. Or that they won.t date a boy over 21 or 22. It would take all the girls to do it together though but would be wildly effective.
February 26, 2020 5:47 pm at 5:47 pm #1835788🍫Syag LchochmaParticipantYochy- what a great idea! instead of looking for the zivug Hashem designated for us, let’s make our own criteria and actively avoid shidduchim sent our way that don’t fit our made up rules! 🤦♀️How could we not have thought of that years ago?!
February 26, 2020 6:03 pm at 6:03 pm #1835795lkwdstrongParticipantSyag lchochma- and why exactly is it ok to say that seminary is causing the shidduch crisis etc…? Why was OP not making dif criteria by suggesting it’s seminary ? Just explain it to me cuz I’m confused
February 26, 2020 6:14 pm at 6:14 pm #1835800🍫Syag LchochmaParticipantIt’s not okay . Its just some poster thinking it’s funny cuz of the other threads.
February 26, 2020 6:16 pm at 6:16 pm #1835805Shaindel6ParticipantThnx siyag lechochma for corrrcting GH. When i read his comment, i was disappointed that my post had been misunderstood.
February 26, 2020 6:18 pm at 6:18 pm #1835807lkwdstrongParticipantSyag lchochma- got it. Thanks for clarifying 😀
February 26, 2020 7:14 pm at 7:14 pm #1835821☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantOf course seminaries cause the shidduch crisis. The shidduch crisis is caused by boys asking for too much money, leaving girls whose parents can’t afford it without a shidduch. Some familes go into major debt to fund the outrageous tuition fees charged by the seminaries, so can’t afford to marry the girls off afterwards.
Alternatively:
Of course seminaries cause the shidduch crisis. The shidduch crisis is caused by too many girls wanting to marry learning boys, and there not being enough learning boys for them to marry. Who brainwashed them to want to marry learning boys? The seminaries, of course.
Alternatively:
Of course seminaries cause the shidduch crisis. The whole shidduch crisis is a hoax, designed to make someone a profit. Now let’s see who stands to profit.
As everyone knows, a girl can’t get a shidduch unless she goes to seminary. Therefore, seminary is an absolute requirement for a shidduch, creating a huge demand. The law of supply and demand says the higher the demand relative to the supply, the higher the price people will pay. So obviously, it’s the owners of the seminaries who created the shidduch crisis hoax in order to be able to charge their exorbitant tuition fees and still fill up.Hence, the seminaries caused the shidduch crisis.
February 27, 2020 2:45 am at 2:45 am #1835876ak98Participant@Daasyochid This is exactly the point of the question
February 27, 2020 7:00 am at 7:00 am #1835881takahmamashParticipantPerhaps it would be better to spend less time worrying about the shidduch crisis and more time learning to write English properly.
February 27, 2020 7:01 am at 7:01 am #1835882PuhLeaseParticipantSeriously? Do we really NEED another thread arguing the same riiculous points?
February 27, 2020 9:59 am at 9:59 am #1835952yochyParticipant@daasyochid
I don’t understand anything that you have said.
Point #1 The only reason the boys can ask for money is that they have an unfair advantage due to their marrying younger girls which there are more of so the boys have the upper hand and can make demands. Remember supply and demand.
Point # 2
If there were equal amounts of boys and girls in the game- both sides would equally feel the pressure to compromise. Since there is not due to marrying into an age gap scenario once again boys can do whatever they want
Point # 3
Once again it may be true what you say that the seminaries are trying to make money but the only reason that all the girls all of a sudden feel the need to go the Israeli seminaries is to impress boys so that they will not be on the losing end of this unfair game that the boys are playing. Once again if the numbers in the game were equal there would be much less pressure to do all sorts of things to impress the boys and everything would work itself out organically.So as you may notice the MATH is driving all of this. Additionally even when people are getting married they are marrying girls in many cases that are out of their league-because they could- and then they are finding it difficult to maintain.
@syaglchochoma G-d in his torah states what age boys should start dating. Please don’t now blame g-d for this when we refuse to heed his advice
February 27, 2020 10:59 am at 10:59 am #1835965🍫Syag LchochmaParticipantyochy – Try reading that again. I wasn’t blaming Gd, I was telling you that your idea is contrary to what Hashem has asked of us. How could you have mixed that up?
February 27, 2020 11:18 am at 11:18 am #1835978☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant@daasyochid
I don’t understand anything that you have said.
Yes, and the rest of your post demonstrates that. I was trolling.
Yochy and Syag, you seem to agree that we should do what Hashem wants from us, but disagree as to what Hashem wants from us.
I think we’re in need of guidance as to what He wants from us. What do the gedolim say?
February 27, 2020 12:12 pm at 12:12 pm #1835994🍫Syag LchochmaParticipantit depends which gedolim you decide to listen to, based on what you are hoping to hear.
February 27, 2020 12:23 pm at 12:23 pm #1836015☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantWow, that’s quite cynical.
February 27, 2020 1:12 pm at 1:12 pm #1836030mserenParticipant#truth
Regardless, even if seminaries don’t cause the shidduch crisis, they still cause a $25,000 burning hole in your parents’ wallets.
February 27, 2020 1:13 pm at 1:13 pm #1836023yochyParticipant@syag lechochma How is my idea contrary to what g-d asked of us? Where did he ask us to marry at 23 or 24 all of a sudden? All of chazal that discuss this subject mention earlier times as best as I can find. I haven’t found a single place that states that boys should delay marriage for this long. And look how much aggravation and suffering this relatively new trendy idea has caused already. When you mention the difficulty girls are having in chassish or Israeli or other circles they look at you like you fell off the moon and have no idea what you are talking abut.
February 27, 2020 1:41 pm at 1:41 pm #1836046☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant@yochy, when you say “It may not be a bad idea for the girls to band together and announce that if the boys don’t start dating earlier- they will not date until later- perhaps 21 or so. Or that they won.t date a boy over 21 or 22.”, do you mean they should refuse to date as a form of protest or as a practical means to close the age gap?
February 27, 2020 3:18 pm at 3:18 pm #1836080yochyParticipant@daas yochid I think that either way that they would have in mind- the goal is the same – to close the gap and ensure that there are 100 boys for 100 girls.
February 27, 2020 5:04 pm at 5:04 pm #1836110headingfowardParticipantWho are you to define the crisis in the world?
Who decided its a Shidduch CRISIS?
Is it not a crisis that Moshiach didn’t come yet?
Is it not a crisis that cancer kills so many young parents?
Is it not a crisis that our world is so immoral?Is G-d not in control?
February 27, 2020 7:34 pm at 7:34 pm #1836165pro geshmake yiddenParticipantI went to seminary and it saved my life.
And only people who are alive can get married
DuhMarch 2, 2020 7:29 am at 7:29 am #1836733☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲Participantwhat a great idea! instead of looking for the zivug Hashem designated for us, let’s make our own criteria and actively avoid shidduchim sent our way that don’t fit our made up rules! 🤦♀️How could we not have thought of that years ago?!
I thought we did.
March 2, 2020 7:35 am at 7:35 am #1836734☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲ParticipantTesting (part 1)
March 2, 2020 7:35 am at 7:35 am #1836735☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲ParticipantTesting (part 2)
March 2, 2020 7:57 am at 7:57 am #1836736☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲ParticipantTesting (part 3)
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