Home › Forums › Employment & Business Issues › Do you charge friends?
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April 7, 2011 6:48 pm at 6:48 pm #828350m in IsraelMember
cshapiro – I once heard a line to the effect that “one person’s chessed is another person’s parnassah.” Everyone must judge for themselves what they can afford to do for others, but generally speaking if something is your source of parnassah it is inappropriate for people to ask for a freebee. Meaning that if I have a guest room and someone asks me to put someone up for a Shabbos, it’s a great Chessed, but if my parnassa is that I own a guest apartment that I rent out, it would not be appropriate to ask me to “do a favor” and lend it. Similarly, if doing tax returns is your parnassah (or a part of it), I would definitely not say do it for free — you’re setting up a difficult precedent. If you don’t really do individual returns as a parnassah, and you have the time and want to do a Chessed, go ahead!
April 7, 2011 7:55 pm at 7:55 pm #828351me tooMemberApril 7, 2011 8:21 pm at 8:21 pm #828352aries2756ParticipantHere is a question to all those that think it is”only” a favor. IF the friend gets audited, will they say they did the taxes themselves or will they say their “friend the accountant” did it for them? What if they ask their “friend” for another favor and have them go in with them for the audit. Should she charge then?
April 7, 2011 8:43 pm at 8:43 pm #828353apushatayidParticipantDo yourself a favor. Dont mix business with family or close friends.
Everyone else, charge.
Your friend can do his (federal) taxes for free using popular programs. The IRS website has a link (if the moderators will allow the link you can find it here… http://apps.irs.gov/app/freeFile/jsp/index.jsp?ck
He can do his state taxes for $39 with turbo tax, including efile and direct deposit of his (hopefully) refund.
April 7, 2011 10:36 pm at 10:36 pm #828354good.jewMemberMaybe PBA will do everyone’s taxes?
November 20, 2011 2:31 pm at 2:31 pm #828356MichaelCMemberI’m studying accountancy. Last night, i went for help to some one who had already graduated, he spent a hour with me, and at the end i gave him money, he tried to give it back so i ran out.
This man was a accountant, i took away his time.
This man was acting Lifnim Meshuras Hadin -above the letter of the law or with Midos Chasidos-a trait of piety.
The Talmud says, the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed because people only acted ‘according to the letter of law (the ‘halacha’ or shulchan aruch).
So I say without Midos Chasidus you are not a Jew (btw this law is not in the Shulchan Aruh, how can it be? the Shulchan Aruch enumerates according to the law).
Some people in this room will counter the quote ‘lo toosif, lo tigrah’ which some commentators say if you add (be Chasidish in everything at all times) you will come to decrease (see Talmud discussing various negative types of Chassidus)-so the answer to this discrepancy is -use your common sense (logic), the people you are helping, CShapiro, may genuinely need your help, and may have little money, at the same time your time is being sacrificed, weigh it up, do a Cheshbon in Chesvan regarding accountancy (Chesbonos), and don’t forget the saying ‘above the letter of the law’ don’t let people tell you its wrong to be Chasidic in every case as you will come to decrease.
November 20, 2011 3:45 pm at 3:45 pm #828357Sam2ParticipantMichaelC: I’m not sure where that came from (or what you’re defending against), but without Middos Chassidus you are not a Jew? Do you know what Middos Chassidus means? And acting Lifnim Mishuras Hadin means in regards to money/Bein Adam Lechaveiro issues.
November 20, 2011 3:51 pm at 3:51 pm #828358MichaelCMemberSam 2 do you believe a Jew sometimes has to go above the letter of the law?
November 20, 2011 4:01 pm at 4:01 pm #828359Sam2ParticipantThat’s a very vague question. Has to? No. The letter of the law is the letter of the law for a reason. There are many times, particularly in money issues, where a Jew should go Lifnim Mishuras Hadin. But he can’t be obligated to. In Bein Adam Lamakom issues saying that a Jew has to do more than what Halacha requires of him could be an Issur D’Oraisa of Bal Tosif, depending on the specific issue.
November 20, 2011 4:12 pm at 4:12 pm #828360MichaelCMemberok i retract that HE IS FORCED to do at all times and circumstances—but to say, he is not allowed to, in the correct circumstances and times —caused the Temple to be destroyed (the Gemara brings this Braisa in a monetary tractate, i think its in Bava Metzia).
Therefore C.S Shapiro should use logic (sevarah, Igros Moshe mentions this) whilst keeping the basic Halacha on the subject.
November 20, 2011 5:14 pm at 5:14 pm #828361oomisParticipantI have never charged a friend for a service that I performed for them that is within my professional area of expertise or ability to help them out. I have helped them to write speeches for simchas, to write grahmin, to chauffeur around their kids when they were working and unavailable to do their carpool, to take their parents to doctor appointments, etc. If you are a friend, you do these things out of love and chessed.
That said, if they were just casual acquaintances, I might charge them much less than I would a fremdeh, but I would still want to be paid for my work.
November 20, 2011 6:24 pm at 6:24 pm #828362ToiParticipantit really depends a. how much time your taking. b. how much money hes losing.
its also never smart to mix business and friends/family.you wont end up happy.
November 20, 2011 8:25 pm at 8:25 pm #8283632scentsParticipantI always tell my friends when they start talking about how they can use my service/products, lets not mix friendship with business.
And I really mean it.
November 21, 2011 12:18 am at 12:18 am #828364adamsParticipantI’ve noticed with computer help there is never any offer to compensate. I usually just do the help if I have the time. I look at it this way. I need a lot of help in general so if I can help others I should do so.
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