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I saw this new book came out and I was told by a friend who read it that its not appropriate to read. Anyone have any idea why?(I don’t want to read it just to find out but she wouldn’t explain herself)
It isn’t appropriate to explain why.
Some people like that real problems not be addressed. Its totally appropriate.
According to Judaism.com the “Deceptions Trilogy” is for adults. Idk what that means in a Jewish novel either.
Its completely apropriate and a very good book to read- it is full of Hashkafa and it can teach you alot. It is a book that talks about ppl with addictions. I dont know why she would not want you to read it- does she have a problem with the first one too? Is BiPolar also innapropriate to read about? These type of problems exist in our communities in numbers that would blow ur mind and I would guess the book was written so ppl like her could start understanding that and dealing with reality. It really bothers me when ppl bury ther heads in the sand and want others to do the same claiming its for ther own “benefit”
BPG, depending on your age, whether a book is appropriate for you to read should be between you and your parents or a teacher you respect. Why are you asking your friend? If you ask one friend they will say one thing and another something else. Not all friends read the same books.
There are many things Young Adults ask their friends about that they really shouldn’t. Shidduchim is at the top of the list. Young adults think that their friends know them the best and will give them the best advice. That is rarely the case. The one thing young adults fail to realize is that friends come and go, and the one thing you should never do is to confide too much to any friend. Friends should NEVER know you better than your family. Even though you think your best friend will be your friend for life. Yes that might be the case, but sometimes that doesn’t happen, and they can and sometimes do turn on you and they should never take those secrets with them when they do.
the one thing you should never do is to confide too much to any friend.
That is a pretty cynical view.
Whenever you open up to someone, you risk being burned. But the alternative of never being open with anyone is far worse.
PBA, you have to choose carefully who you open up “what” to. I didn’t say not opening up with anyone. Nor did I say keeping difficult secrets to oneself. There are always options of whom one can trust with difficult secrets.
Young people rarely understand this concept and play the “promise you will never tell anyone what I am about to tell you” game. This rarely works.
i think im going to get the book to read tonight. will report back after
actually the first one – innocent deceptions was more “not to read”. I would never let any girl read it – I have a library and censor those books for the girls. But it is fine for women.
flyer- why? please explain
I read it-I let by oldest child read it. I think it helps bring an awareness and a sensitivity to a very serious issue that affect many in our community. The book is exceptionally well written. It is obviously not a children’s book, but I think it is appropriate for a teen. I’ll bet your friend does not feel the cr is appropriate. To each his own.
That is I read the first book. I cannot vouch for the second. I bought it but have not yet had a chance to read.
There is nothing wrong with the book but I would not want my daughter to read it before she is at least 18 – Innocent Deceptions is about a girl with bi-polar but the family covers it up – they are very rich and are able to “buy” her a shidduch. THey end up getting divorced after she almost kills herself in a car accident and the husband goes into depression and their child ends up in foster care. The husband ends up liking the case worker and they get married. Something like that – not exactly for a young teen.
Desperate deceptions – I did not think it was as explicit although I find these books a little strange – where every family has a major issue or cover up. It is a little too much but I also would not want a young teen reading it. there are enough appropriate books and magazines out.
i read innocent deceptions and am not any more “aware” of Bi-polar since i read it. i knew what bi-polar was before and the book did manage to scare the wits out of me…your kid will probably know what bi-polar is whether she reads this book or not so enough about the “awareness”…..kids dont have to know every little detail to be “aware”! and most of these kinda books about mental illness, abuse, shalom bayis issues and such scare kids into thinking that life becomes miserable after marrige…its not nessecary..
its really interesting because after i read the book i was like “hey, at least these issues are being addressed and are not taboo subjects.” they are real. they exist.
Bi-Polar as explained in the book is not necessarily how it is in real life. While it can be that way, it can also be alot worse. In both the manic and depressive stages of bipolar a victim can suffer from psychosis, a loss of contact with reality. They can also become suicidal. So for anyone who thinks the book was scary it could have been a lot scarier.
i would say its not. why do kids need this scary stuff to read? ok its for awareness purposes. so now the kid knows every detail about it and shes set to go for life since she is aware that a problem like this exists. happy now?
I know the author- she wrote it with the intention of kids/ teens reading it.
One must realize that most jewovels are written with the fact kids will be reading it because it is a jewovel
Aries -“Friends should NEVER know you better than your family. Even though you think your best friend will be your friend for life. and they can and sometimes do turn on you”
How true!
And sometimes friends can destroy your marriage and you end up totally off the derech -which happenned to my ex-wife. But don’t worry, they meant well!
stuffed-there are some who will not read about the holocaust because it’s “scary stuff”-you ok with that?
About the ninth grade library: I would say no. An individual parent can decide to let he daughter read it but I don’t think the school should spend the money on it. This differs from the Holocaust, true events that happened, and written up in a productive framework.
I realize that there is a school of thought that says, let the school get it, let our kids read it, better this stuff than the YA wasteland at the public library. But some books just need to be read with the parents being aware that the child is reading it so they can discuss it. This series is fairly decently written but disturbing. In the first book, Innocent Deceptions, not a single deception was innocent. In this book there is, if imaginable, even more dysfunction, extensive description of addiction and exposure to the workings of AA, a very disturbing relationship based on a child bearing a name of an ancestor who’d been through is own gehennom and didn’t fully transcend it, and much more.
I don’t think any school library wants to get this and open the can of worms that won’t be opened from your typical soap opera or poorly edited and translated stuff. OTOH, I don’t think a parent who “lets” (because we know kids read stuff we don’t “let” them) her older high school girl read it is being derelict.
The market for Jewish novels is quite small, so it is difficult for publishers to turn a profit. Sometimes, the best way to get a sales boost is to have a third-party denounce the book as “too risque”.
you mean they would do something that is a…deliberate deception?
so it is difficult for publishers to turn a profit.
The wholesale price (after the author’s percent) doesn’t cover the cost of the printing and distribution?
Sorry folks, based on the description of the book given above by flyer, I see no reason why a 14 year old girl shouldn’t be allowed to read the book. 14 year olds know what bi-polar disorder is and they know what a disfunctional family is. It seems that the book reinforces positive values like telling the truth and helping ill people. As far as I know, there is no explicit you-know-what(or implicit, for that matter). It does show, however, that when people make bad choices in life, bad things tend to happen. That’s a valid lesson for a 14 year old and for adults too.
based on the description of the book given above by flyer……
As far as I know…..
i hope no one will base a decision possibly adversely and permanently affecting a Yiddishe Neshama based on a flyer of a book, and guesswork as to what is in it
BSD-no because learning about the holocust is different than reading abut mental illness. why are you comparing the two? we learn about the holocust a)so that it will never be forgotten even when the survivors are gone, b) its historia technically so its a mitzva and c)out of respect to the 6 million jews who were murdered. and cud be you missed my point-topics like those scared kids and teens into thinking that this happens regularly (yeah it DOES happen! but not regularly) and that scared them that marrige is nothing but heartache! yeah they shud be aware that these things do happen and it can happen to ANYONE at ANYTIME but after that, how much more do you want them to know?
I didn’t read either book, but it sounds like it may be a decision for each parent to make knowing their own child.
I just wanted to comment on the Holocaust comparison. Although it is a different question, as some posters explained above, I would agree that parents may want to monitor at what age their kids read which Holocaust books as well. It is not a matter of something necessarily being appropriate/ inappropriate. It is simply that children at different stages are emotionally and psychologically ready for different information. Some more graphic Holocaust books may not be appropriate for preteens or even young teenagers.
The books mentioned above may be wonderful, serve an important purpose, etc, but that doesn’t mean it is appropriate for every child at every age.
Hi, I am the author of Innocent Deceptions and Desperate Deceptions. It is interesting for me to read a discussion about my books. Personally, I feel that my books are appropriate for the adult readership. Whether or not teens should read them is up to their parents’ discretion. Some teen hailing from more liberal backgrounds are more worldly and the sensitive topics of my books might be appropriate for them to read.I welcome any questions or comments from any of my readers.
Hi, I am the author of Innocent Deceptions and Desperate Deceptions
So am I. :-))
pba,
Was that deception desperate or innocent?
Hmmm. It was illustrative.
I think its innocent
Hmmm. It was illustrative.
That wasn’t one of the choices.
But I got you point.
is lying on the CR more ethical that in real life?
Hey, welcome innocentdeceptions.
Do you have plans for another book or series?
now i am confused- are there two books?
I am currently writing a serialized novel, entitled, Road Block, which is published in a Lakewood newspaper. I plan to publish the completed novel as a book, b’ezras Hashem. Additionally, the third book of the Deceptions trilogy is currently a work-in-progress.
I wish you much hatzlochah!
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