Depression and dating

You bring up valid points, and there is a hereditary component to CERTAIN types of depression (but not all). Nonetheless, if Klal Yisroel did not stop having children even though Pharaoh was throwing the boys into the Nile, you should not think of yourself as WRONG for having children some day, BE”H. With Hashem’s help, they could and WILL be healthy, normal children. To alleviate some of your fears, why don’t you speak a) to a Rov for guidance and b) to a doctor who specializes in mental health issues and the drugs which you need to take and who is knowledgeable about the hereditary aspect. Hatzlacha rabbah in finding your basherte.

Major depressive disorder is a mood disorder, and while environment plays a large role, there is a genetic component. Current research suggests that children with one parent with MDD are 2-3 times more likely to suffer themselves, and being that around 5-8% of of the general population suffer with depression, that means children of patients will be around 15% more likely to have the disorder. But don’t take this as what is absolutely going to happen. Also, depression is more common in women, so similarly it may be less common for men to pass it along to their children.

Continue with the medication as long as it has a positive effect on you. And be honest with someone you are looking to marry. You should want to spend the rest of your life with someone accepting of you, both your triumphs and your struggles.

It is mostly not genetic. To the extent it is passed on through families, the environmental aspect of having a parent who suffers from depression is much more important.

Dr. Sorotzkin likes to tell about how he is frequently asked by people looking into a shidduch where the potential shidduch’s parent suffers from a serious mental disorder (so not depression, more like schizophrenia or BPD), whether it is genetic. He wonders why nobody ever thinks to ask what effect it can have on a child environmentally to have a parent who is schizophrenic.

You should seek a qualified professional and not take advice from an internet forum.

1life– I am 1 of a very large family. One of my parents has had episodes of depression for many years and has been medicated for it. I can tell you that one can be a wonderful parent and spouse as long as they take the advice of their Dr and do what needs to be done.

I have depression and I have accomplished a ton despite it. You can also do the same, I know its easier for me to tell you not to be anxious when I myself an anxious about the same thing, but this thread has been an eye opener that other people can assist people with depression towards more rational thinking through loving guidance. I am not saying you are not being rational, but being anxious as part of depression can lead others to perceive these threads as irrational fears.

Bottom line, the key thing you need to look for in someone is a person who will not dismiss these fears, but will rather assist you in overcoming these fears that the rest of the world who has never suffered from depression will not understand.