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A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.”
In my case, that would be cheesecake.
The second mouse gets the cheese.
People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care!
People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint – it’s more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly… time-y wimey… stuff.
Tee fifth wheel is the steering wheel.
Sometimes I think that the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.
Success comes in cans, failure in cants.
The difference between an optimist and a pessimist is that an optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort!
Everyone is gifted – but some people never open their package!
The best angle from which to approach any problem is the try-angle.
Did you know that opportunities are never lost? That’s because someone will always take the ones you miss!
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
If you cannot help worrying, then worrying cannot help you.
Any man who knows all the answers most likely misunderstood the questions.
The late worm doesnt get the bird
Eat a whole turkey and you will be cool.
Save the Texas prairie chicken!
Bookworm120, very funny
Sometimes I use words I don’t actually understand in effort to make myself appear more photosynthesis.
RebYidd23, really.
I know what photosynthesis is. It’s a joke.
To be or not to be, Obamanos.
@Malbim – Thank you! 🙂
BookWorm120, do not bash me.
“One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I’ll never know.” -Groucho Marx
why aren’t iphone chargers called apple juice?
That is so creative!! I love it!
**But why, pray tell, do you wanna be chasidish???
Yentachaya- I go to school with chassidishers and like it, the only issue is is that I want my husband to b clean shaven, and I would never shave my head
Yentachaya- I go to school with chassidishers and like it, the only issue is is that I want my husband to b clean shaven, and I would never shave my head
Why would you never shave your head? You save on shampoo.
y do u drive on parkways and park on driveways
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