Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Dear Popa Bar Abby (Advice Column)
- This topic has 201 replies, 59 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 3 months ago by ☕ DaasYochid ☕.
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January 18, 2013 5:18 pm at 5:18 pm #1092014WolfishMusingsParticipant
Dear Abby died….http://www.latimes.com/news/obituaries/la-me-pauline-phillips-20130118,0,861274.story?track=lat-pick
All those people should now be writing to the only person left to properly respond.
That would be Popa bar Abby
Actually, “Dear Abby” is very much alive.
Pauline Phillips, the longtime writer of the column, died. However, her daughter, Jeanne, took over the column 10 years ago and still writes it today.
In fact, according to Wikipedia, Jeanne actually owns the legal rights to the pen name “Dear Abby.”
The Wolf
January 18, 2013 5:23 pm at 5:23 pm #1092016☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantBesides, I think popa-bar-abby’s sister took over.
January 18, 2013 7:17 pm at 7:17 pm #1092017oomisParticipantThe name was legally co-opted by her daughter Jeanne Phillips, who has been writing the column ever since her mother was revealed to have Alzheimer’s. Likewise, her cousin Margo Lederer, took over writing the advice column for HER mother, the late “Ann Landers,” nee Esther Pauline Friedman Lederer. Good to keep it in the family.
February 3, 2013 2:32 pm at 2:32 pm #1092018☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantDear popa bar abby,
Someone insulted me in the CR. What should I do?
1) Ignore it
2) Request an apology
3) Demand an apology
4) Post this question to you as an indirect way of bringing it up
Thanks,
Hypocritical Fanatic
February 3, 2013 3:53 pm at 3:53 pm #1092019supermeMemberDY- oh boohoo 🙁
February 3, 2013 5:19 pm at 5:19 pm #1092020popa_bar_abbaParticipantDear Hypocritical Fanatic,
Link us, I haven’t been following close enough.
Love,
bar Abby
February 3, 2013 6:36 pm at 6:36 pm #1092021☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantFebruary 3, 2013 6:41 pm at 6:41 pm #1092022popa_bar_abbaParticipantDear Fanatical Hypocrite,
Just be obnoxious to your date until she does it for you.
Love,
Bar Abby
February 3, 2013 6:59 pm at 6:59 pm #1092023☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant?
Did you catch the embedded links?
February 3, 2013 7:07 pm at 7:07 pm #1092024popa_bar_abbaParticipantDear Hypocritical Fanatic,
Yes, I was also surprised to see those posts, and I didn’t remotely understand what was bothering that poster or why she was taking it out on you 🙂
My advice is to chalk it up to the vagaries of anonymous internet posting. Maybe she was drunk http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/son-wants-to-go-collecting-in-limo-on-purim#post-436440 http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/shidduch-crisis-6#post-436442 http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/a-complaint-about-the-terms-frei-and-shiksa#post-436441
February 3, 2013 7:20 pm at 7:20 pm #1092025☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantDear Popa Bar Abby,
Yeah, I’ll take your advice. It’s too late for choice #1 anyhow. 😉
February 3, 2013 10:01 pm at 10:01 pm #1092038☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantToi, are we really supposed to believe that you’re not stalking?
February 14, 2013 1:28 pm at 1:28 pm #1092039Veltz MeshugenerMemberDear Popa,
I hate people who are better than me, or do better than me. This applies across the board, but let me just give the example of three categories: wealth, attractiveness, and brains.
There are relatively few people who are smarter than me. This is an empirically objective fact (and I urge you to not “fight the question” but rather to address it). However, when I run into such a person, it bugs me a little. Not too bad. However, if that person is both smarter than I am and either better looking (most people are) OR wealthier (most people are), then I want to punch them in the face. Luckily, I have not succumbed to that desire – the worst I’ve done was put poison in someone’s coffee, and then knocked it over after they had just a little (which caused terrible acne so mission totally accomplished, but whatever).
Is this normal? If not, what should I do to deal with it?
February 14, 2013 1:46 pm at 1:46 pm #1092040☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantDrink the coffee.
February 14, 2013 4:02 pm at 4:02 pm #1092042ybrooklynteacherMemberNo offence meant to anyone who posts here, but in view of what seems to be happening, perhaps it is time for a system where every poster gives his personal details and REFERENCES to the moderators before being allowed to post.
February 14, 2013 4:14 pm at 4:14 pm #1092043Veltz MeshugenerMemberYBrooklynteacher: But who will watch the watchmen?
February 14, 2013 4:25 pm at 4:25 pm #1092044ybrooklynteacherMemberHaving a system where everyone [perhaps including mods] realise that at least one person knows their name will itself make sure that people think twice before posting.
February 14, 2013 4:26 pm at 4:26 pm #1092045ybrooklynteacherMemberToi, r’ Dovid obviously realised about you with his ruach hakoidesh.
February 14, 2013 4:44 pm at 4:44 pm #1092046golferParticipantDear P b A,
Interesting discussion up above.
I did find it weird once when I realized a poster thought I was a guy. Poster was very kind about it and did give me a long, detailed, non-insulting explanation for the mistake. (Including fact I am sarcastic. Funny- I never knew men have monopoly on sarcasm.)
Do you think posters should be required to identify themselves as male / female?
Or not?
(We can already tell which posters are, shall we say, below a certain age, so that’s not as much of an issue. And if the Mods want they can keep all males over 11 out of the interminable sem threads.)
February 14, 2013 4:44 pm at 4:44 pm #1092047🍫Syag LchochmaParticipantI think it would be a lot easier to make a system where everyone understands that posters are NOT always who they present themselves to be. If they act friendly to you, that does not make them friends, they are annonymous posters acting friendly. There is a difference.
I didn’t plan any play dates with anyone so I don’t really care whom they are in contrast with whom they claim to be, but there is what to be said for being an honest and kind person online as well as off. And attacks are intolerable regardless of whom they came from.
Think of it as a play with a bunch of actors, and when the curtain closes, go home. Don’t go backstage for a cast party.
February 17, 2013 4:25 am at 4:25 am #1092049☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantDear popa,
Is brilliance the same as low self esteem?
July 24, 2013 7:02 pm at 7:02 pm #1092050WIYMemberThis was a good thread
May 26, 2014 11:35 am at 11:35 am #1092051Shopping613 🌠ParticipantDear PBA,
Help!!!!!! I have lots and lots of tests and I’m drowning and I don’t know anything!!! How can I pass high school? And How can I get more people so come to SUC?
Desperate,
Shopping
May 26, 2014 12:48 pm at 12:48 pm #1092052popa_bar_abbaParticipantDear Shopping,
Passing high school is very easy if you live in NY. All you need to do is pass the Regents tests, which are in fact very easy to pass, if you study for them. So that’s just like 10 tests over the whole 4 years.
Also, you can get more people to know about the SUC if you just create more usernames and use each one to post once about it.
May 26, 2014 1:15 pm at 1:15 pm #1092053PulsingFlowerMemberDear PBA,
All my friends hate me because I toast bananas. I don’t know what to do! Is my behavior normal?
Signed,
Ostracized by a banana
May 26, 2014 2:39 pm at 2:39 pm #1092054Little FroggieMemberDon’t worry, most of them are totally bent out of shape.
June 9, 2014 10:34 pm at 10:34 pm #1092057👑RebYidd23ParticipantWhere can I buy a carnivorous plant?
June 10, 2014 6:39 am at 6:39 am #1092058YW Moderator-42ModeratorDear popa bar abby,
The shul I davened in this past Shabbos did not say the prayer for the Medina nor the one for Obama. How do they expect Moshiach to come if they don’t pray for peace?
Sincerely,
Believer in Moshiach.
June 10, 2014 11:40 am at 11:40 am #1092059TheGoqParticipantWait a minute Obama is not the Moshiach??
June 10, 2014 6:50 pm at 6:50 pm #1092060👑RebYidd23ParticipantOf course not. He doesn’t even have a donkey.
June 11, 2014 4:10 am at 4:10 am #1092061Veltz MeshugenerMemberDear Popa Bar Abby,
For the last year or so, although I have had a job, I have been looking for a different one. Recently, I found a new job and while I was thinking about when (as late as possible) and how (as passive-aggressively as possible) to tell my old job that I’m leaving, it occurred to me that the kind of work that I do can be done from home. Not forever, and not well, but for a while and poorly.
I’m thinking that instead of telling my old job that I’m leaving, I will simply set up an autoresponse on my email and an out of office on my messages and continue working at the old job until I’m fired. I mean, I’d rather leave on my own terms, TBH, but two jobs are better than one, right? I am not worried that anyone will see me because the new job is in a different city. I think that if I dedicate an hour a day to my old job, I’ll be able to get paid for another six months.
So here’s my question: Is this ethical? I thought it wasn’t, but I checked and there’s no law against it. At my last job, I was fired because I am a liberal, and I thought it was wrong to fire someone for speaking their mind on political issues, but it turns out that no, private employers are allowed to fire employees at will. In fact, the company lawyer specifically pointed out that if Congress thought it were wrong, they would have made a law about it. So while I would have thought that drawing two paychecks is wrong, apparently Congress doesn’t think so. What do you think?
Best,
Veltz Meshugener
PS: Also, if I get caught and fired, but neither company wants to defend a for-cause hearing, would I get one or two unemployment checks?
June 16, 2014 12:53 am at 12:53 am #1092062popa_bar_abbaParticipantcan’t believe I missed that one.
Dear Veltz Meshugener,
You have a job that would not notice if you were gone for six months? It seems like if I don’t answer this column for just 4 days people already start tracking me down.
love,
popa bar abby
June 24, 2014 12:43 am at 12:43 am #1092063☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantDear Popa_Bar_Abby (I’m, um, asking for a friend),
Dh has a gambling addiction (different discussion) and thinks that it is reasonable to budget 600 a month for this. Even though we cannot afford that, he says it is really less because for sure he will win some back, and anyway it is cheaper than the therapy my mother recommended for it.
I have never been to a gambling den, so I don’t know really what a reasonable amount is. Also, no way are we paying for him to buy drinks there–he drinks enough at home for way cheaper.
So, what is a reasonable amount?
June 25, 2014 8:07 am at 8:07 am #1092064YW Moderator-42Moderator$1000 is a reasonable amount to spend on the Oorah raffle because then you have a chance to win a million dollars.
June 25, 2014 12:55 pm at 12:55 pm #1092066☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantDear Popa Bar Abby,
What did my daughter get on her Biology Regent?
Signed,
Anxious Parent
December 18, 2014 8:13 am at 8:13 am #1092067YW Moderator-42ModeratorDear popa bar abby,
My husband called me a dolt and I was wondering what I should do about it.
Signed,
Wondering Wife
December 18, 2014 12:56 pm at 12:56 pm #1092068popa_bar_abbaParticipantDear Wondering wife,
I suppose first we need to know if you are in fact a dolt, or perhaps even a dolty twit. If yes, then you should hit him over the head with your rolling pin, in the hopes of making him also a dolt.
If you are not, then why did he call you a dolt? He must be a dolt! If so, you should hit that dolt right over his dolty head with a rolling pin!
December 18, 2014 1:15 pm at 1:15 pm #1092069☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲ParticipantMod42, did this thread come up in a search
for the thread about Oorah’s raffle?
Happy sixth anniversary!
December 18, 2014 1:59 pm at 1:59 pm #1092070DaMosheParticipantMod-42, this is a question for my buddy Feif Un’s thread on relationship advice (the original advice thread! PBA is an imitator!) http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/relationship-advice
Who knows? Maybe I can get him to provide an answer!
February 18, 2015 7:20 pm at 7:20 pm #1092071TheGoqParticipantDear popa bar abby there is another poster in the coffee room who i will not name who posts things i sometimes disagree with but whenever i respond to his/her post i am ignored with no response or answer whatsoever i think this is unseemly if someone questions something you said you should answer, it seems i am the only one he is ignoring but i am not sure about that, perhaps he feels i am not frum enough for him or this site what should i do to let him know that i deserve to be heard too.
Respectfully yours,
IamaJewtoo
March 8, 2015 7:35 pm at 7:35 pm #1092072👑RebYidd23ParticipantDear Popa Bar Abby,
It irks me that people feel the need to wear two matching socks and throw out socks that do not have pairs. It is very wasteful and the fabric used for those socks could be used instead to make coats for freezing children.
Dobby IV
March 8, 2015 8:10 pm at 8:10 pm #1092073popa_bar_abbaParticipantDear Goq,
I could not respond before, but magically orchestrated a pre-purim confusion of names so that you could see they ignore everyone.
Love,
Bar abby.
April 11, 2015 6:29 pm at 6:29 pm #1092074Shopping613 🌠ParticipantDear PBA,
I don’t know what to do. I cannot beleive Pesach ended! I mean…the school year just started! How do I make myself stop thinking that it’s the past since I can’t comprehend time has passed so fast?
Lost in Time
April 12, 2015 9:15 pm at 9:15 pm #1092076👑RebYidd23ParticipantWhere’s PBA?
April 12, 2015 9:17 pm at 9:17 pm #1092077☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantProbably back in Mendelsohn’s.
April 13, 2015 8:57 am at 8:57 am #1092079sirvoddmortMemberShopping613:
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
April 13, 2015 11:36 am at 11:36 am #1092081sushibagelMemberDear PBA,
Forget it! I’m having Bloggers Block
Any solutions?
###########
July 3, 2015 3:57 am at 3:57 am #1092084👑RebYidd23ParticipantDear PBA,
I was born cynical. Now I’m becoming just plain silly. What can I do?
July 5, 2015 4:15 pm at 4:15 pm #1092085sushibagelMemberRebyid: What were you like back then?
July 17, 2015 8:20 pm at 8:20 pm #1092086alter bochurParticipantDear PBA,
What would you do if a recently married friend redt you to a girl who was fairly overweight, and himself would’ve been incensed if a friend did that to him?
Sincerely AlterB
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