Dear Popa Bar Abby (Advice Column)

Dear Popa Bar Abby

I have a coworker who is a very difficult person one of their faults is they don’t know how to express gratitude this morning they got a personal call and i transferred it to them and said who was calling they said yeah, yeah? i asked dont you mean thank you for answering your personal call, they refused to to say thank you and demanded i put the call through i said sorry and told the party that this coworker was unavailable. did i overreact? how would you handle such a coworker?

Fed up in Sacramento

Dear Fed up in (anywhere but) Sacramento,

I applaud your standing up for yourself. Bar Abby believes it is sometimes important to take a stand when people treat you like a shmatta. This has priority over chessed (I am a rabbi- I say so).

At the same time, if one can appreciate that the other person has nisyonos, and perhaps is having a hard time and has their own emotional needs to put others down, it may change your perspective. This coworker likely is feeling disrespected by their spouse or by the boss, and is compensating for their own emotional difficulties. You should absolutely not allow them to compensate at your expense though. But this may help you be less affected by their abuse.

Love,

Popa bar Abby

Dear Popa bar Abby,

I used to run a great advice column in the CR. Now, some young shnook has come along and opened up a competing column, taking away my clients! What do you suggest?

Dear has been,

I suggest asking him what he suggests, and then doing that.

Dear Popa bar Abby,

What do you suggest I do to help me stop (well, Im not even sure I want to stop but at 3:20AM I really should be going to sleep)

Thanks for the Laughs!

Dear thanks for the laughs,

You should move to New York. It is only 10:40 here.

How does a person overcome night phobia’s – meaning that that person is the only adult in the house and is responsible for little ones, and crazy stuff happens in the city to enhance their fears (of break in or CH’V worse). I know bitachon but thats not easy when you’re petrified coz a murderers loose in you’re city……..

Dear Phoebe,

I don’t think you’re crazy for feeling scared, but if it has gotten to the point of affecting your ability to function, you probably should do something about it. I’m afraid I really don’t know much about this. Maybe ask the experts.

As far as bitachon-I don’t think that is the problem nor solution. Bitachon is how we respond to rational fears, not to irrational ones. Recall there are billions of goyim in the world who are not afraid at night, even though they have bitachon.

I think this is important for you to realize that this doesn’t mean you have weak bitachon.

Dear Popa Bar Abby,

I’ve been trying to stay away from the CR at 2am but tonight I can’t sleep. Should I drink more caffeine?

Sincerely,

A Relapsed Addict

Dear relapsed addict,

How about a nice Coca Cola?

Love,

Pops

Dear Popa bar Abby,

There’s this guy who acts like a right-wing extremist but he knows way too much Torah to be an unthinking fanatic and he reads xkcd. How do I fit him into a niche where I can look down my nose at him?

Sincerely,

Attempting to be a brooklynite

Dear attempting to be a brooklynite,

I don’t know what xkcd is. In general, I am willing to look down my nose at people even if they are too fat to fit in a niche.

Dear Crazy,

Now you know also.

PBA-bby