Davening for Yourself for a Shidduch?

I think we should let Hash-m worry about running the world and we should just do what we gotta do, no sense in trying to understand the way things work.

So glad I did not go to your Sem…..

That kind of stuff is ridiculous. Some sem teachers think that the only way they can inspire girls is by giving them ridiculous goals and the best carrot is a shidduch. If you daven you’ll get engaged, if you take challah 613 times, if you are diligent in making 100 brochos a day for 100 days. (by the way i’m being facetious. Please dont quote me). didu just be a good yiddish maidel. Daven what you have to daven when the time is. Oh and you can help your mother too. And when Hashem has decided the time has come for your shidduch, you will get engaged. Of course you can daven and say tehilim asking hashem for a quick and good shidduch. But don’t place your trust in segulos. Place your trust in pure Hashem.

The teacher who taught this, should be severely reprimanded and threatened with firing if she repeats this to another student.

Hashem wants you to daven. Period. He doesn’t want you to keep a counter for each perek tehillim, for each shmoneh esrei or chessed that you do. If someone is ill, daven for them, again, without a counter. As to why that person is ill, that’s the ribbono shel olams business not mine or yours.

-DiDu

i dont know what sem you went to (who knows maybe we sat next to each other in class) but as far as i’m concerned i think you are correct. i was in sem last year and my teacher said the same thing. Hashem may want one person to say the tihillim twice to find thier zivug and someone else 100. But we dont know how much is our hishtaflus so we must do the best we can. And yes it may dipend on the tifelose of others as well but that is not our job to worry about. Also it may be that hashem is not waiting for someone elses tifeos but if that pefson davened it may speed up what ever u are daving for! Just keep on davening….Tifela is the key to everything…hashem is listening he is our father waiting for our tifelos…(it says in parshas birayshis that hashem didn’t bring rain until someone aked for it…Hashem wants us to call out to him…Also Remember that when u dont get what u want dont think that hashem is not answering you…Hashem may be answering but the answer is NO…and thats not a bad thing..hashem is sayingthat at the present moment what u want is not good for you although u may not understand it!

The more we daven the closer we are with hashem….so keep on davening…dont give up…And iyh you should find your zivug hagon bikarov mamash!

“Hatzur tamim po’alo” Hashem has cheshbonos for everything, & they are good for each person in totality. We may be at a loss to fathom why it is good at our current standpoints, however the ultimate goodness is assured. Consequently, we can daven, and others can daven on our behalf however if this wouldn’t be good for the person (or others and thereby not totally good) Hashem wont let it happen until the time that it is totally good for all parties. Now, part of making it good may be allowing a person to utilize their predicament to grow and thereby thrive form their challenge. Despite this, we the living are unable to know those cheshbonos & therefore need to act accordingly, by strengthening our emuna & bitachon in Hashem, for this may be the road block preventing the desired yeshua. A means to this end is tefila, where we directly beseech our father to aid us. Not that Hashem needs our tefilas, rather by going through the motions, we reinforce these feelings in ourselves thereby bringing us closer quantitatively to our father in heaven.

This brings me to interpret this seminary teachers comments of Hashem wanting a certain amount of tefilas- as Hashem wanting us to utilize this predicament to grow to a new level of ruchnius as an act of chesed to the person.

Thereby its also conceivable that this “greater good” may encompass that Hashem wants one to be the catalyst for another to also grow in ruchnius, and this would need to ultimately be good for both parties.

This is a very strange thread. Whence this idea that you have to “buy” something from HaShem by giving the required number of Tefilas, perek Tehillim, etc.? You daven to get close to Hashem. You say Tehillim to grow in ruchnius. We trust that HaShem knows what’s good for us and will provide what He knows that we need, not what we may think we need at any given time.

100 brachas a day for 100 days and you’ll automatically get your shidduch? 613 Shmoneh Esrehs? There’s a name for this sort of thing – superstition. If they’re teaching this sort of thing in sem these days, it’s no wonder we have girls going OTD because they start thinking Yiddishkeit is meaningless. We have emunah and bitachon, and don’t try this weirdness of “forcing” or “buying” HKB’H to do what we want.

Pascha-

You couldve made things easier and just Davened to Hashem to give you your bashert WHEN YOU ARE MATURE ENOUGH AND READY.

smartcookie: I guess I would feel that it’s like davening to have good kids – while I would daven for it in the abstract, it’s not so “real” to me. Or davening for good health in my old age. Since I’m not in that stage of life, it’s hard for me to feel intense about, and if I do feel with kavana, it can sort of hurry it up b’ruchnius and that wouldn’t be the right time.

sacrilege: “V’eschanan” is the gematria of 515, the number of Tefilos Moshe Rabbeinu davened, and if he had gone into EY, then he would have built the BHMK and it couldn’t have been destroyed (or am I confusing this with something else?)

However by CHet Ha’Egel Hashem told Moshe Rabeinu to stop, so he knew it was being effective and continued davening. So how do we know what is the right thing to do?

paschabechachma –

“V’eschanan” is the gematria of 515, the number of Tefilos Moshe Rabbeinu davened, and if he had gone into EY, then he would have built the BHMK and it couldn’t have been destroyed (or am I confusing this with something else?)

Yea, no that is what I was reffering to, and Hash-m said if he would have davened 516 He would’ve had to let him into E’Y and then the whole BHMK thing. So that is kinda the same as forcing Hash-m to give you your Bashert (or any other thing) after X amount of Tefillos.

Ofcourse-

“The older I get the more I see that Frumkeit isnt a black and white issue, measured strictly by the amount you Daven or learn. With increased life experience and maturity, thats hard to fathom.”

Since leaving the sheltered world of BY and becoming more involved with all kinds of people I have come to realize the exact same thing, no matter how much BY and some circles would like you to think otherwise (and make you feel guilty for it)

“if he had gone into EY, then he would have built the BHMK and it couldn’t have been destroyed (or am I confusing this with “

I learned that, too. And on that note, Everyone have a good kvitel.

I too disagree with this concept. Someone once told me that a persons davening is strengthened if its said in Lashon Kodesh, but what she didn’t say was that when a person is really really davening from the heart with tears, the language wont make a difference. (At least thats my thinking).

Say for (just) a minute that ABC needs to daven 200 S”E before meeting her bashert, does that mean if she davens only 199 times, she wont ever get married? What about if she davens 199 times, and finishes sefer Tehillim 50 times, is that not counted? What if she davens 200 S”E and her bashert davens all that he needs, what happens to him? This whole thing sounds a little funny to me. And since she will never know exactly how many tefillos she needs, isn’t the point to daven?

I think maybe we’re getting a little caught up in certain things. I’m not c’v saying a person shouldn’t daven, but if a person works on themselves to be the best potential marriage material, and just davens and davens some more, (IMO) thats the best thing for a shidduch.

*kapusta*