Home › Forums › Shidduchim › Dating Question…..
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August 17, 2014 3:31 am at 3:31 am #613423moyshe kapoyerMember
of course that what a “bucher” that’s dating should look into a girl is if she has good “midos” and “hashkafah”….
but how much should A) money, b) looks, be a factor according to the correct “torahdike’h hashkafah”?
August 17, 2014 3:34 am at 3:34 am #1028326MalbimMembermoyshe kapoyer, Torah comes before anything else.
August 17, 2014 3:36 am at 3:36 am #1028327To be or not to beMemberJust look up the myriad other threads on this topic. ( go figure, here we go again.)
August 17, 2014 3:53 am at 3:53 am #1028328MalbimMemberTo be or not to be, very funny.
August 17, 2014 5:26 am at 5:26 am #1028330yeshivaguy45ParticipantMoshe kapoyer, these questions are a matter of opinion, so the best thing is to ask your mentor these questions
August 17, 2014 11:48 am at 11:48 am #1028332BarryLS1ParticipantMidos, hashkafah and compatibility are most important. Looks are in the eye of the beholder and can and will change. Marry for money and you’ll live to regret it. Besides, money doesn’t always last either.
August 17, 2014 2:29 pm at 2:29 pm #1028333oomisParticipantHe who pays the piper, calls the tune. Marry for money, and watch those puppet strings attach themselves to you. Marry the girl who hashkafically matches you, has middos that you would want to see inculcated in your children, and to whom you are attracted. If her family has money, and despite that, they too, are menschlech, then you have a wonderful shidduch.
August 17, 2014 3:00 pm at 3:00 pm #1028334👑RebYidd23ParticipantMoney is hard to ignore.
August 17, 2014 3:03 pm at 3:03 pm #1028335JosephParticipantLook for a heart of gold rather than hard gold.
August 17, 2014 7:43 pm at 7:43 pm #1028336MalbimMembermoyshe kapoyer, just look for somebody that loves Torah.
August 18, 2014 8:47 am at 8:47 am #1028337jewishfeminist02MemberA couple needs to make a parnassah somehow. Parnassah can come from many different places. If either the girl or the boy or both of them is working or is planning to work, that’s great. If NEITHER is planning to work long-term and the two sets of parents are unable to come up with a combined level of support that is adequate– well, that’s where money comes into the picture. In other words, there might be practical financial reasons to turn down a shidduch from a less wealthy family, but no reason I can think of to prioritize shidduchim from wealthier families. As far as looks, that’s always important. To what degree it is important depends on the individuals involved.
August 18, 2014 3:03 pm at 3:03 pm #1028338Geordie613ParticipantR’ Paysach Krohn says, if you marry for money, you’ll soon lose interest.
August 18, 2014 3:36 pm at 3:36 pm #1028340ariele (Joseph)Participantgeordie613, lose interest in the money or in the girl?
August 18, 2014 4:42 pm at 4:42 pm #1028341yentachayaParticipantMoney is actually not a positive attribute. It comes along with lots of problems, especially in Shidduchim and a new marriage.
And about looks: you need to like how your spouse looks. You don’t need a drop-dead gorgeous model, but you do need a girl that you find pretty.
Hope that helped.
August 18, 2014 7:40 pm at 7:40 pm #1028342oomisParticipantR’ Paysach Krohn says, if you marry for money, you’ll soon lose interest. “
lose interest in the money or in the girl? “
IT’S A PUN!!!!!!! Kinda like, ” If you ignore your good health – don’t worry, it will leave you.
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