Dating etiquette

It’s called chivalry.

ckbshl: She probably didn’t unlock the door because she wasn’t trained well.

Do you expect your guests to serve you after you serve them?

lets not make this into a crisis… she is definately not responsible or expected to do that.. its his car his control..

but by the title of the thread i was thinking of a story i heard from a friend- she was on a date and he was dropping her off. she lives near a busy wedding hall and there was traffic on the block so he asked her if she minds walking from the corner.. so he dropped her off and drove away.. now thats a lack of ettiquette or chivalry?

i think most assume the clicker opens the door automatically

Most doors open on both sides, but in point of fact, I ALWAYS leaned over to check the door was open on my date’s side. Good manners are a two way street.

she had to climb in when he went to his side

thanx for the bag tip.

I always opened the car door for my dates, and I noted who did and didn’t unlock my door from the inside. It wasn’t a deal breaker, but it should be noted that the young lady I married did unlock my door.

ckbshl – Checking the car door lock (and, for that matter, opening the car door for a girl), are not things that are common decency manners that you would just do for anyone. I would not feel the need to open a door for my friend who was getting into the car for me to drive him to a baseball game. Yet I absolutely do it for a girl who I am taking on a date. This has nothing to do with manners and being considerate. Trust me, the girl is perfectly capable of opening the door for herself. I do it because it is chivalrous! That chivalry does not apply the other way around. manners do.

PS – if I were in a passenger seat of a car with no power locks with my friend getting in and my friend would have to reach for the key to open it I probably would open it from the inside. However, this does not apply as much to a girl in the passenger seat on a date since she may feel too reserved to reach over. Why is that? I think it is since in the heat of the moment, we can expect a girl to be reserved. I think it’s actually attractive if her middos check out. makes me more confident in her natural tznius.

ok here we go for some stories:

1. a guy calls me to tell me hes outside that i should come out. so the people who’s house i went out from runs out there and yells at him at how dare you not come to get her. he shows up in jeans and shirt.(he was supposedly aq chassidish guy from WB) and im all fancy for the date he turns around and says to “i just wanted to meet you to see if i wanted to go out with you.” the shadchan who was his cousin was so mad at him and apologized profusely to my mom.

2.usually a guy holds door me unless i tell him other wise. but this one guy walks into store and doesnt hold door and not only that doesnt let me go first!

3.another guy calls me to tell me he needs to go to the mikvah before we go out. so i went to meet him because i didnt want him to pick me and we go. we get outside the restaurant and i go to get out. he says where are you going? and i said into the store!(duh! where else?) then he says “no stay a while lets relax whats the rush?” OK fine. weird thing number one. Now we go into restaurant(this guy is chassidish too) and i start being curteous to waiter. like hi thank you how are you. he says not appropriate to talk to waiter. i said “EXCUSE ME?!?!?! of course you talk to them its called being respectful!” and we go on and on. then i tell him how iw ant an open house and if my friends want to come for shabbos thats ok. to which he says its not appropriate and that really bothers me because i wont talk to them. and i said well then we wouldnt be able to have your friends because I would find it inappropriate(which i totally dont care. just had to say it) so i then i said …”see ya!”

WiseWoman – As far as a guy not letting you go first that is a tznius thing. I consider myself extremely courteous on dates (and, surprise surprise, in real life too) but I try to go first unless it seems the girl is in a rush to get ahead of me 😉 I do hold the door open behind me though.

dating etiquette isnt all about opening a car door. its knowing how to behave during the dating process.last week my daughter went out with a boy,she was his first girl.she didnt think it was for her and we told the shadchan that right away. the shadchan called us about 10 minutes after my daughter walked into the house after her date.the boy had called him immediately and was interested in going out again.we told the shadchan it wasnt for her. a day later one of my daughters close friends and a neighbor, tells her she heard my daughter was “DUMPED” by this boy.apparently he went over to his next door neighbors and regaled them with his date experience.he must have forgotten their son in law was our neighbor and his sister my daughters close friend.for heavens sake-pretend you are really 23 years old and have a tiny bit of class and some maturity.