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- This topic has 15 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 2 months ago by 👑RebYidd23.
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March 23, 2011 7:08 pm at 7:08 pm #595862frumsinglegirlMember
Is it mean to go out with a boy a second time when you think theres a 90 percent chance it wont work out? I just wana be 100 percent sure.
March 23, 2011 7:37 pm at 7:37 pm #1097417truth be toldMemberIf it’s something you need a date in order to determine, why is it mean? If aperson needs to get their thoughts together, and that’s where the 10% is coming from, then push off the date in order to think. Otherwise, why not date until certain?
March 23, 2011 7:40 pm at 7:40 pm #1097418oomisParticipantI have always told my girls the following: Unless he has incredibly rude manners, poor hygiene, or is insufferable in some other way, give him a second chance if he wants to see you a second time. Some guys are too nervous on a first date, because they want to make a good impression, and it backfires on them. It is only when they go out again that they begin to relax a bit.
Also, someone whom you do not find attractive to you the first time around, might seem more so as you get to know him. I can tell you for a fact that I know many people (male AND female)whose looks seemed rather ordinary, but as I got to know them, I found them to be much better-looking. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, for a reason. When we see someone’s heart and soul, their sense of humor, their hashkafa matching our own, they become infinitely more attractive in the ways that count for a lifetime relationship.
OTOH, of you absoltely cannot abide this person, don’t waste his time, either.
March 23, 2011 7:45 pm at 7:45 pm #1097419popa_bar_abbaParticipantWell, suppose you date 10 guys.
You could easily assume that your next guy has a less than 10% chance of working out.
So then you would never date.
March 23, 2011 7:48 pm at 7:48 pm #1097420ShrekParticipantas long as you pay for 90% of the date, I don’t see a problem.
March 23, 2011 7:51 pm at 7:51 pm #1097421WolfishMusingsParticipantIs it mean to go out with a boy a second time when you think theres a 90 percent chance it wont work out? I just wana be 100 percent sure.
That means that there’s a 10% chance it will, right?
So, if someone told you that you had a 10% chance of winning the prize of a lifetime by spending three hours or so, wouldn’t you take the chance?
No, it’s not mean. Go out and have a good time.
The Wolf
March 23, 2011 7:58 pm at 7:58 pm #1097422mytakeMemberWhat makes you think you’ll be 100 percent sure after the second date?
What if you’re only 94.309% sure after the second date?
March 23, 2011 7:59 pm at 7:59 pm #1097423bptParticipantIf you’re 90% sure it work, you might want to quesion if dating is for you altogether. Or really want to question the vibes you’re sending, if you’re set up with someone you think, in your opinion, is that off the mark in terms of what you want (or say you want).
Last possiblibly, he is for you, you just don’t know it.
Goodness, is this what the dating scene looks like today? 1 day with a person, and you can already come to a 90% conclusion?
Boy, am I glad I’m not in the pool.
March 23, 2011 8:00 pm at 8:00 pm #1097424Pashuteh YidMemberAlways give a second chance. It leads to less hurt feelings, and maybe you will like him.
March 23, 2011 8:05 pm at 8:05 pm #1097425Avram in MDParticipantWolf,
So, if someone told you that you had a 10% chance of winning the prize of a lifetime by spending three hours or so, wouldn’t you take the chance?
No, it’s not mean. Go out and have a good time.
I really enjoyed this post.
March 24, 2011 12:12 am at 12:12 am #1097426frumsinglegirlMemberAvram in MD,
Winning a prize of a lifetime is very different, You not playing with peoples emotions. Theres a big difference…
March 24, 2011 2:05 am at 2:05 am #1097427WolfishMusingsParticipantWinning a prize of a lifetime is very different, You not playing with peoples emotions. Theres a big difference…
For the record, it was I who used that line, not Avram.
That being said, you’re not playing with someone’s emotions if you agree to go on a second date. It is (or should be) understood by all parties that a second date means “there might be something there, and I want to check it out further.” If he mistakes your “let’s go on a second date” with “hey, she’s ready to get married” that’s his problem, not yours.
It’s a date, not a lifetime commitment… and you owe it to yourself to investigate if you think there’s a reasonable chance that it might work.
The Wolf
August 23, 2015 5:42 pm at 5:42 pm #1097428👑RebYidd23ParticipantIn some circles people get engaged after 1 date.
August 23, 2015 9:07 pm at 9:07 pm #1097429TheGoqParticipantPeople get engaged in circles? wow that is weird.
August 23, 2015 10:11 pm at 10:11 pm #1097430skripkaParticipanti dont know about circles, but some people get engaged in square
August 23, 2015 10:32 pm at 10:32 pm #1097431👑RebYidd23ParticipantThe circle of life.
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