Creative writing – CR users in real life!

Harry was having an awesome dream, with fun and laughter and everything. Suddenly Voldemort appeared and got all preachy. He woke up with (his scar hurting and) a stomachache. He wondered if perhaps it was because he drank chalav s’tam milk the day before. He went to go ask Flitwik for a charm to cure it. He knocked on the gryffin, which asked him “is it heresy to ask which came first, the pheonix or the flame?”

“What do you mean,” said Harry. “How can a question be heresy?” “Debatable,” said the gryffin, but allowed him access anyway. Flitwik said he didn’t know any good charms for stomachaches; Harry had to go to the hospital.

“But I can’t step into Maimonides,” said Harry. “It’s so disrespectful that they named a hospital that.”

He pondered his predicament and decided to go back in time and not drink the milk, but the whole time travel doesn’t make any sense, and anyway in the present he already had a stomachache and he couldn’t make it go away. UnBumping the thread about chalav s’tam didn’t help, and Harry didn’t know how to make himself vomit.

He decided to go out and RUN MOVE GO which had proven remedies (and maybe he’d also find his meds) but first he had to get his hat. Thing is, it was a chillul hashem to wear a hat that was worn by an apostate. But then he remembered Kingsley’s words echoing in his ears: She wouldn’t care if he wore the hat.

He obligingly put on his hat and left. But it was so windy that his hat kept flying off. Too bad he didn’t have a shtreimel.

The walk didn’t help; it just made his trousers, or perhaps breeches, rip.

He did a serious cheshbon hanefesh and wondered if maybe there would have been smoke alarms, his whole stomachache would have been avoided. Yes! That was it. He should go to Fallsburg, where they have smoke alarms. Anyone know what they’re learning there next z’man? He zapped his tissues into thin air and packed his bags.

Now everyone’s going to complain that I shouldn’t make a joke out of such a serious matter. what a half-crazy world.

Good for you, SDD!

Can anyone tell me what this was a reference to?

“Thing is, it was a chillul hashem to wear a hat that was worn by an apostate. But then he remembered Kingsley’s words echoing in his ears: She wouldn’t care if he wore the hat.”

Thanks.

Very well written, Sdd!!

LOL Sirvoddmort!!! (You are soooo british btw)

I can only apologise for the lack of thought that went into the above question. I simply found it amusing that of all my activity on this forum in the preceding week, that one sentence was picked up upon. Congratulations on your achievement and the thoroughness that went into this monumental work of fiction. Perhaps that was laying it on a bit thick. It was a hilarious story, and I enjoyed it very much. Or, as those from the other side of the pond might exclaim, “Lol, it was awesome!”

Anticipating a possible forthcoming example of the errors of one’s ways does not excuse one from then committing that same error. As for the comment you referred to in your excellent story, it was particularly interesting for me that that was the example included, as it was rather out of character for me to make a personal philosophical view in a public forum, and that was only because I felt it was a necessary response to a rather damaged world view, if I can put it that way. I generally attempt to be argumentative (by which I mean intellectual, but calling it that would be couching my actions in vague, pretentious cushions of deceit) and occasionally amusing, for other’s benefit. To be told that my only amusing contribution was virtually the only one I meant in a purely serious manner is, to put it mildly, interesting. And as far as your next point is concerned, it is only correct to be gracious when another has brightened your day, even by the tiniest amount. And were the pond I was referring to the English Channel, the sentence would have concluded with the words, “MDR, impressionnant!”