CREAM OF THE CROP!?! WHERE R THEY???

Home Forums Shidduchim CREAM OF THE CROP!?! WHERE R THEY???

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  • #603763
    Shidduchim
    Member

    Why are there sooooooo many good girls out there but no ‘cream of the crop’ boys????? It’s so depressing to see great girls settling for just a ‘good guy’!!! WE ALL WANT THE BEST!!!

    Anyone have a good explanantion????????????

    #879663
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Perhaps you need a redefinition of “cream of the crop.”

    The Wolf

    #879664
    Csar
    Member

    There are very many cream of the crop bochorim. But where are the good girls??

    #879665
    MiddlePath
    Participant

    How do you define “cream of the crop”?

    Also, having “the best” isn’t ideal. The ideal level is for a person to have the best spouse FOR THEM.

    #879666
    Sam2
    Participant

    By definition, only one girl can have the “best” boy, right?

    #879667
    TheGoq
    Participant

    SCREAM OF THE CROP

    I appreciate this is important to you but there is no reason to yell (all caps)

    #879668
    zeman
    Participant

    There are boys who seem like “cream of the crop” on paper – yichus, smart, tall, handsome, muscular ,etc. but some are so arrogant, and will turn out to be bad husbands. I have seen this with many boys I knew in Yeshiva. I would never want my daughter anywhere near these boys. On the other hand, some boys who some would consider “nerds’ end up being terrific husbands. Look for a boy that will be great husband, not a trophy that you want to impress others with.

    #879669
    takahmamash
    Participant

    I think your question mark key is stuck.

    #879671
    147
    Participant

    When people want to settle, they will settle; This being picky is just the Yetzer HoRo disguising itself with excuses.

    #879672
    bpt
    Participant

    The explanation is really very simple. You are putting the cart before the horse:

    The mediocre boy BECOMES the cream of crop by marrying the BEST girl.

    I know, I know, that’s not fair, but it is the SYSTEM, so best just deal with it and not make waves.

    Sorry, but them is the rules.

    #879673
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    one of my professors used to not give 100s and said the reason is because only G-D is perfect

    #879674
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    bpt – speaking of shidduch rules, are there any other hygiene issues that I should know about other than tissue and floss related ones before setting my kids up with yours?

    #879675
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    Law of Pedantry: At any given level of education, there will always be a teacher who does not give perfect scores because “only God is perfect.”

    #879676
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    The passuk begs to differ: v’isha b’chol eileh lo matzasi

    #879677
    Basya
    Participant

    Prehaps what youve decided is the ceam of the crop, hashem has decided otherwise… Either ghese girls that you think desserve the best really dont or the guys that look the best on the surface are really not. Like someone pointed out here, some of the nerdyest guys turn out being the best husbands and some of the coolest hot shot guys turn out being the worlds biggest brats!!

    You have to realise shidduch girl thaf you aint the one that decides who is the best and who is not.you seem to havd a controlling personality that you need to work on.

    You are not the one thaf runs ghe world…

    Trust hashem and you wont be depressed about it. Theres a devine plan for all.

    Theres a purposs ahy some people hvs be nerds and some havs to be hotshots everyone here is hk fulfil a tafkid.

    The tzar of a hotshot having to ‘SETTLE’ for a ‘nerd’could havd sth to do with thier personal tafkid.

    #879678
    bygirl93
    Member

    I believe your question is kinda mute- every girl has her version of a “good” boy the type she wants to marry- the real question is does this boy exist? Is it possible? Or do you have to give and take a little- most ppl have to give and take a little- so when you ask where are the good boys- who or what type are you refering to? And like many stated above- no one is perfect except Him- perfect does not exist- but don’t go out their thinking “I’m settling” because then you’ll always think there is someone better

    #879679
    apushatayid
    Participant

    Perhaps the question is moot, it is certainly not mute.

    Even a lousy crop has its cream.

    #879680
    oomis
    Participant

    one of my professors used to not give 100s and said the reason is because only G-D is perfect “

    I HATED that guy! Only Hashem is perfect – true. But getting 100% on a test on which you did not answer even one question incorrectly, only makes your PAPER perfect, not you. So, teachers, get over yourselves, give credit where it is due, and save the mussar schmooze for when you are NOT giving tests.

    #879681
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    By definition, only one girl can have the “best” boy, right?

    Well, as soon as the best boy gets married, someone else becomes the best boy. 🙂

    #879682
    shmoel
    Member

    Top guys and regular guys have a hard time finding a very good girl.

    #879683
    Basya
    Participant

    “top guys and regular guys both have a hard time finding good girls”.

    Whats thd definition of a good girl?

    #879684
    Basya
    Participant

    ^very

    #879685
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    Just to clarify, what percentage of boys are the “cream of the crop”, and what percentage of girls are “best”?

    #879686
    bpt
    Participant

    ” setting my kids up with yours? “

    Laugh all you want, Syag, but odds are, our families WILL cross paths with one another (if they have’nt already).

    The yeshiva world (in all its sizes and colors) is not that big, and since we are all vying for the “best” catch, its pretty much a slam dunk we are gonna be one big happy family or at least attending each other’s simchas.

    Dental floss and all.


    DY – Great point!

    #879687
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Squeak? Anybody? I need some validation for my post.

    #879688
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Where did the op go? trolling in the park?

    #879689
    yoyo56
    Member

    there are many good boys out there yet i feel thatthey arent the ones making the decisions in shidduchim its their mom!! which is causing many problems if a guy cant schoose a girl on his own then what can he do?!?!?

    #879690
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    bpt: If you are anything like you seem from your posts, I’d be honored. And fyi, my dad used those post card inserts from magazines so business cards sounds about right.

    #879691
    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    if a guy cant schoose a girl on his own then what can he do?!?!?

    Not get married, since he obviously is not mature enough to do so.

    For the OP: Look outside the (Lakewood) box, and avoid anyone looking for money (both boys & Shaddchanim). You will find the cream if you look hard enough.

    #879692
    yaakov doe
    Participant

    I’m right here at my filtered computer.

    #879693
    squeak
    Participant

    popa- I cite Niemoller

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