Cousins at Chanukah Party

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Viewing 17 posts - 51 through 67 (of 67 total)
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  • #910969
    mdd
    Member

    Soleik, what about “al tarbe sicha im ha’isha”?

    Passfan, S.A. says it causes ze’nus. The reason is obvious. If the young man’s wife looks like an old lady, or a young woman’s husband is not physically fit, but rather is old-looking and frail, it could lead to problems, c^v.

    #910970
    passfan
    Member

    mdd, that could be the case with humongeous difference in age. But a 50 year old guy with a 22 year old wife (as the Chasam Sofer married) has been quite common in our history and isn’t the large discrepancy the s”a refers to.

    #910971
    zahavasdad
    Participant

    Just because something was done in the past, doesnt mean it should be done now

    In the past a 13 year old boy could marry a 12 year old girl.

    And I met about 15 years ago a woman from somewhere in the former soviet union who told us she was married at 15 1/2 (She was married in her country at 15 1/2, She came here after it was legal)

    #910972
    ED IT OR
    Participant

    personally I think the post’r is asking whether its right to make the party?

    in which case u should know these things only become an issue if YOU make them one

    happy chanukah to all

    #910973
    mdd
    Member

    There is nothing wrong with an early marriage, if the spouses are mature enough. In parts of the former Soviet Union, it was legal for 16 year-old girls to get married without parental concent. In this country, people mature later.

    #910974
    passfan
    Member

    The Ribnitzer Rov, in America about 30 years ago, married a 20-something year old girl when he was in his 60’s.

    #910975
    mdd
    Member

    Passfan, that’s, for sure, not according to S.A. There are those that have proposed a heter, but it is not poshut. According to the S.A., a 60-year old may not marry a 20-year old.

    #910976
    soliek
    Member

    “Soleik, what about “al tarbe sicha im ha’isha”?

    ill take my chances

    #910977
    mdd
    Member

    Soleik, divrei Chazal are divrei Chazal, and the gidrei Tznius they established are bindind on us.

    #910978
    mewho
    Participant

    i have a question. i thought that medically it is not a good thing to have a very similar gene pool for husband and wife.

    yet when i hear about some of the weddings in the Jewish community i read of so and so ‘s grandson marrying so and so who is the grand niece of that very same rabbi.

    why would that be permitted from a medical point of view?

    #910979
    soliek
    Member

    mdd: when the rest of my family stops talking to their female cousins ill think about it. ive never seen any breaches in tznius between any of them.

    #910980
    mdd
    Member

    Violating “al tarbe” is a tznius breach in and by itself. To talk to cousins there might be room to be more lenient. Look in Gittin 90A on the bottom.

    #910981
    ED IT OR
    Participant

    mewho, yes medical issues are a problem but I dint think the Torah talks in halacha about medical issues and the halochos of ervoh are quite clear

    #910982
    Toi
    Participant

    “have fun at your chanukah party and all works out in the end”

    probably the dumbest thing i ever heard.

    op- they wanna shmooze (or at least the guys) for bad bad reasons. so its bad.

    #910983
    mytake
    Member

    Lifeisgreat

    In answer to your original question (I’m guessing you want my opinion, not a psak halacha, otherwise you would have asked your Rav), I think it’s okay to make the party. But teenage cousins of the opposite gender should not shmooze. My opinion.

    #910984
    yentingyenta
    Participant

    i went to a chanuka party last night, and YES i spoke to my male cousins. is there a problem with that?

    #910985
    147
    Participant

    No problem whatsoever. ….. Let your grandparents enjoy Nachas from having all their grandchildren gather together, and please gather again with all your cousins on Seder nite to give Nachas to your grandparents, and how about having a Shovu’os nite program altogether, so that your grandparents can have Nachas from having all the grandchildren learning together overnight with cheesecake.

Viewing 17 posts - 51 through 67 (of 67 total)
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