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I am in my early 20’s and live very out of town. I recently chose to attend a PA program in my hometown. The program is 3 years and pretty expensive. I was also accepted to a few schools in New York but decided that it would be better for me to stay home. (Also the price was pretty much the same when I included in room and board and transportation.) How do girls from out of town work with shidduchim when they are in college at home? If they meet a guy who they like, do they just drop the program and move to his city? Do some guys just choose not to go out with a girl who goes to school out of town? Is it ever heard of that a guy moved to the girl’s city? There aren’t many single guys in my city so my options are really limited.
You will not be able to date yeshiva guys since they do not go to yeshiva in your city. You will not be able to date college guys who don’t go to college in your city. You will have a hard time finding working guys who are able to relocate to your city.
You should plan to not date very much until you finish school.
Alternatively, be prepared to date almost every free minute in between semesters. If you are interested in dating, be prepared to have to miss class time in order to do so. If you do meet the right guy, circumstances may dictate that you relocate to his city, or to a 3rd city so be prepared to transfer to a new school. Whatever you decide, much hatzlacha.
As she ages her biological clock is ticking. And the age gap may cause her to have fewer prospects as she ages.
Droid – she is only in her early twenty’s. Biological clocks don’t come into play for at least another fifteen (or more) years. Why are you being such an alarmist?
It still reduces the time-frame she can have children during marriage.
Snowy,
If the NY school incurs the same expense as your local one (as you state in the op), then you may sincerely wish to reconsider your decision.
It is possible to date. I am from a small and as you put it very out of town community and I have had the same issue when it came to dating. Every time something came up that seemed likely and good- I would go to NY or wherever I needed to go out from (95% of the time it was NY.) It gets expensive and I only did it after a really good checking out and made sure it was really worth my while to go out there. I have had to this enough times (but not more than half a dozen) and most of the time I had to miss a day of school. It got hard, but I made sure to tell the prof. that I will be gone on a Friday or a Monday and would make sure that what ever work I would be missing I would get (to an extent.) Obviously you can’t take a cadaver with you on a plane. I am in Nursing school- so I had the same worries about missing a ton of work for such little time gone.
Hatzlacha and let me know if you need more help or advice! Glad to see someone else here is on the same boat as me.
It sounds like you’re going to have to make some tough decisions at times about taking off from college vs. dating someone and moving on in life but if you are committed to making it all work, I think it can but it might be tough. When you meet the right one it should all go easy and fast.
Good Luck!
The problem is not the dating. You can date long distance.
The problem is the marrying. You can’t marry long distance (usually). You will need to find someone who is willing and able to relocate to your city. Which as I pointed out, will exclude yeshiva guys and college guys.
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