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basically, i’m halfway done my fall semester of nursing and i need to have a major rant. (and i kinda need some advice too….)
first experience: we have 1 clinical day in NICU. 1 day in post conference Liza was telling us about her day there. shes telling us about “baby A who had A B C D and E wrong and the mom in orthodox and having a hard time coping….” then continues with her report. this baby was seriously sick. ANY mom will have a hard time coping and the fact the mom is orthodox means what exactly?????? if the baby needs a blood transfusion but the parents are johava’s witnesses, FINE then you should mention it. but there was no shaychus between the coping and the religion
experience 2: its my 3rd day on the post partum unit and i had a frum (chassidish) patient. and i had to ask her some of the most private questions known to nursing. how i managed not to turn bright as a tomato is a major nais. have any of the nurses/doctors/ppl in the medical feild have any advice how to communicate with frum patients?
experience 3: same day as #2, i was in the nurses room where they do the charting and was talking with the seasoned nurses. one nurse asked me how many kids do i have. so i thought she meant what number are you in your family? so i told her i’m oldest/middle/youngest of X kids. then she said no i meant how many kids do YOU have. so i said what?!?!? i’m single. basically, this nurse thought ALL frum girls get married REAL young like my patient who was 19 and had her first boy. is this a common misconception?
sorry for the long rant. its been a very interesting OB rotation. hopefully the peds half goes just as smoothly eeerrr bumpy eeeerrrr whatever. i give up on describing it. i think i fried too many brain cells studying for that test i had today. i think i’ll go catch some zzzzz so i’m awake for clinicals tomorrow
Layle Tov CR!
What’s the big deal if she thought you married young?
The first issue you encountered sounds strange. I think you should address it publicly, should it arise again.
Whatever made you blush when speaking with your frum patient, probably just rolled off her back. Once a woman has a baby, she just doesn’t think about things the same way. You’re single, so you feel differently (at the moment). However, I think that will change soon enough, being in the medical field.
It sounds like a very stimulating environment to work in. Enjoy!
Yenta – You gotta be mature if you’re going to have a career in the medical field. Asking all sort of questions to all types of people is something you have to do. My Chaddishe friend at first had a hard time, but he learned how to do it anyway.
Things Goyim will say about Frum Jews are two-fold. Some are based on reality and some are based on ignorance or antisemitism. Mature people first listen and then come to conclusions. We all aren’t perfect. If it’s based on reality, I’ll agree with them. If it’s based on ignorance, I’ll try to re-educate them. If it’s based on hatred, I’ll either rebuke or ignore (something that depends on multiple factors).
“my point was is it common for non jews to think all orthodox girls get married young.”
Almost all do, so their perception is correct.
I have no idea what the goyim think.
wow Yentingyenta, kol hakoved. I was a nurse once upon a time. And yes, the charting and reporting thing can get unneceassary gossip and info that is NOT called for. That always bugged me. It irked me the wrong way. I feel its used as an excuse to sneak in a few opinions indirectly. For example, if a religious orthodox woman is not “coping” then where is her G-d? is their question.
I found its like there is a judgment call on needless info.
I have a personal experience, that recently I had a baby and baby had to go to NICU for a few days. I resented the fact that during my sit in visits with baby I overheard the nurses at change of shift reporting to one another and said something like “Mom wants to nurse, or insists to be called in for every feeding”. But it was their tone of voice that said “problematic mother”. Or that they found me to be a hassle for that reason. Because they have to call me rather than just giving baby a bottle.
In NICU – its a touchy area because the nurses are the technical mothers reviving and keeping this baby alive, but BUT I somehow picked up the vibe that they very much want the parents to keep away. I got intimidated by one nasty nurse who wouldn’t let me nurse my baby a minute over the scheduled feeding. I cried. And she kept trying to persuade me “sweetly” to leave.
I think if Hashem put you in this field and environment then you have a job in being the sweet role model of how to speak respecfully about all parties when reporting and keeping your voice in an even tone, especially when reporting the difficult or derogative info. so that the nurses pick up on the objective.
However, you must remain diplomatic and never confront anyone any time about their use of language and tone. Its not worth it.
Nursing is stressful if only because of the interpersonal relationships on the floor,,,plus some.
WOw NICU …what a scary and daring responsibility!!! I could never do it!
It seems that not much has changed since I trained – and I graduated in 1977. When I was doing my rotation in OB, the nurse that I was teamed with was from one of the Caribbean islands. My instructor was from the same place and knew the nurse personally – this ended up being to my advantage. In those days I used to wear a very tiny gold Mogen Dovid around my neck. The first day I was on the ward, the nurse that I was teamed up with said “I didn’t know that any Jews were nurses. I thought that you all went to university for a year or so and then got married. I know that none of you have to work because you are all rich.” I was so stunned that I had no reply (which for me is highly unusual). Fortunately, my instructor was right around the corner and had heard all that had been said to me. She stepped over and asked me to leave for a few moments. She gave the nurse such a “what for” that it was impossible not to overhear her. She let her know that she had made a complete idiot of herself and that there had been Jewish students in every class since the nursing school had started – 10 years earlier. Then she really let her have it about the “all Jews are rich” line. Anyhow, when I came back the next day, I was paired up with someone else and I never again laid eyes on this woman.
YY, firstly hatzlocha. Secondly it doesn’t matter whether you are in nursing school or computer school or in the working world. Once you step out into the real world you will be confronted with questions and comments and you should be prepared and know how to answer. People are generally stupid and/or ignorant and not necessarily mean or evil. There is nothing wrong with informing the uninformed. On the flip side, you will be surprised, especially as a nurse even in the Ped’s department when you have to ask a 15 year old if this is her first abortion or has she had others. This doesn’t really happen in YOUR world but it is not all that uncommon in their world. So there is a lot that you don’t understand about what goes on in the secular world just as they don’t understand what goes on in our world. It is NOT something to get insulted about or take personally.
As a nurse you are going to see things, hear things, and know things that you would never have imagined before. Be prepared.
Yentingyenta, I have to tell you, I was raised around antisemites.
Yes it was hard growing up being the only Jewish girl in a public school my whole life and even amongst my fathers family who made outright racist remarks on Jews.
But that being the case I believe I do know how to answer them today. I feel I help them see the truth as I am able to.
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