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When it comes to Shidduchim and marriage, there are some situations where people go into things that end up badly. For example, either the woman or man is mistreated and the relationship fails. Either people are given poor advice or are mislead. But something needs to be done about the situation.
We are the chosen people who have a mission to spread light. Let’s not throw away our special quality. Both men and women need to be respected and given what they need. A man needs to be able to support his family. A women needs to be able to take care of her family without being overburdened. Together, the couple can help each other complete their mission here.
Learning the halochos of shmiras haloshon is essential. In my case, crucial facts WERE WITHHELD,(that alone doesn’t ruin everything, but it sure doesn’t help) and in other cases, nasty gossip is relayed unnecessarily. Gossip ruins a shidduch from going further, and withholding essential info. can ruin a marriage.
How do you clean up shidduchim?
I know!
You can use Charming paper towels with Mr. Clean who will sweep her off her feet and Pledge marriage with much Joy.
hey Torah, that’s amazing!!!!
Thanks eclipse, and wikipedia commons.
In my humble experience, this is almost always the girl’s fault.
This is the curse of odom harishon, that ????? ???? ???? ???.
Ok, Popa’s in the mood for a brawl:)
No one came to my aid when I needed help to get away from my sociopathic ex.. My being a vulnerable widow meant nothing. My kids meant nothing. This was a shidduch that should never have proceeded.
I’d be one to agree with PBA. I had 2 relationships that never materialized, and in both cases, I felt I did everything “right.” (Parnassa-bound, sweet, attentive, generous, funny, passionate about HaShem and Torah, respectful and helpful to their families, etc.) I felt that the women I was with were meshugenneh (one did go to a shrink and had hurtful tendencies, and essentially played “blame the victim” as a means of deflecting blame from herself, and the other was davka on meds and saw a psychiatrist). But, alas, these weren’t bashert. They weren’t meant to be. And in retrospect, I thank HaShem they failed. I’m happier single now than I was with those beasts.
In Jewish history, women are often the source or cause of men’s downfall and misfortune. Look at Adam and Chava. Lot and his wicked daughters. Romance results in Yaakov Avinu becoming a laborer for 14 years in total. Shimshon and Delilah (he wasn’t such a gibor when it came to resisting feminine wiles). Jezebel was a wicked queen who brought idolatry upon the Jewish people. Shlomo haMelech’s women led him away from G-d. Maacah married Rehoboam, Shlomo’s eldest son, and when Abiyah succees Rehoboam, Maacah the Queen Mother brings avodah zarah into the mix, notably worship of Baal and Asherah. No wonder why Hazal tell men to avoid women, even their own wives.
Abusive partners sadly are abundant, both abusive women and men, although I find that abusive women tend to be more into psychological and emotional manipulation and subterfuge when compared to men.
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