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Ive heard chosson cigarettes are given so that the chosson friends shouldnt put an ayin hara on the shidduch.
Why doesnt this apply to girls?
We could give out jewlery or smtng..whatever the equivalent of cigarettes are for girls..The equivalent is girl cigarettes.
giving anyone ciggarettes is wrong and according to many its against halacha to smoke them
smoke to your hearts content!
This barbaric practice still exists even after the dangers of these carcinogen sticks are so well known, R”L L”A??
I’m sure the chosson could give out something of benefit to his friends to achieve (an even better or) same result, and I imagine the kallah could do the same if that were necessary.
ZD, so what would be the equivalent of cigarettes for a girl?
Smash them at tenaim or chuppah?
Virginia Slims.
Lipstick
I’m not sure if this whole thread is serious or just one weird troll. If true, it would be the equivalent of the chosen’s friends wishing him to come down with lung cancer. This goiyeshe stupidity about casting an evil spell on the relationship should never warrant dealing in cigarettes.
Another common option is to distribute pens. The boys go back to Yeshiva after the engagement so that’s when it’s given. The kalla’s friends come to the engagement party and they often bring balloons. I’m talking about a Chasidishe vort, so maybe there’s less jealousy by the girls, as there’s no female shidduch crisis…
@Mammele major maskim
Lucy, great question!
Maybe because girls traditionally spent their time at home they didn’t have a group of friends therefore there is no Minhag to give girlfriends anything.Hard to decide which is more irrational (read silly): giving anyone cigarettes, or believing that the chosson’s friends have supernatural powers. Toss-up.
Most Chasanim give out candies. If a Kallah wants to give out something she can also give candies.
Chaver: Not sure what planet you’ve been living on. Even young women who did not pursue a graduate degree or career path, still had networks of friends from beis yaakov, seminary and in some cases collegel, family relationships, etc. Not clear why you have such a narrow view of the real world. As to why there was no minhag, I’ll leave it to our other minhag gurus to speculate.. If you’ve ever been to a frum chassanah, you’d know that the kalah often has more “friends” in attendance than the choson.
What a sick topic to have a discussion about
Live and let live
If only we can give boys a healthy, yiddishe outlet nowadays. The chevra are desperate to ban everything nowadays. Back in my days in yeshiva, and friend of mine tried to self harm, lo oleinu. A cigarettele here or there is not the problem.
“If only we can give boys a healthy, yiddishe outlet nowadays…A cigarettele here or there is not the problem”
You are so right…. we should give all the Yungerleit access to Weed, offer make sue we tap a keg of beer with Thursday night cholent and assure that all the shtenders in the beis medrash have USB ports for charging their “kosher” smartphones. That is the least we can do for the next generation of bnai torah.
lucy, you are not asking why guys smoke. you just want to know why girls don’t give stuff out too..
This is feminism . Let guys be guys and girls be girls!If only we can give boys a healthy, yiddishe outlet nowadays. Back in my days in yeshiva, and friend of mine tried to self harm, lo oleinu. A cigarettele here or there is not the problem.
And how many of your friends now suffer from COPD, asthma, or any of the dozens of cancers and medical conditions directly linked to smoking? I agree that bochurim need an outlet, how about something like playing basketball or jogging, or playing an instrument (or pretty much anything that doesn’t have horrific health consequences)
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