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So im on line to check out and im behind someone i know and as im loading my goods on the belt he is staring and taking a mental inventory of what i am purchasing this happens to me so often and i find it to be very rude and an invasion of privacy.
Maybe he is intrigued to see what an older single man buys for himself, maybe he is just nosy in general, now mind you im not talking about a casual glance he was mamash staring at each item i put on the belt, am i wrong? ive also had similar incidents in my apt building when im throwing out my trash if a frum person is there they will often take a glance to see what i am discarding.
I dont want to make a mountain out of a molehill but this really gets on my nerves.
i am rolling that you take this so to heart. maybe the guy is spaced out or thinking about something and you think hes looking at your food when he is not. Sometimes I find myself spacing out at something and the person must think “what the heck is wrong with that girl why is she staring at my belt” but really im just spaced out
Unoversal Statement: The World (and the Jewish one) are all a bunch of busy/nosy bodies..i call them “Creepy Peepers”!!
And what can we do about it? Nothing. We cant change the way people act…we can change the way we act thereby others seeing that change and following it!:)
Good luck Goq!
Some ppl r just plain NOSY!!!!!
I also thought maybe he had just spaced out & just happened to be looking in your direction/at your stuff; or, just something to do while being bored waiting on line.
re: throwing out your trash– just something to look at?
I tend to think that there is no malicious rhyme or reason to this.
It is nosy of them but it’s all out in the open. I say, why not have fun with it where you can. Pretend you’re talking on your cell phone. Interrupt your conversation (change topics) and say, “what’s THIS GUY staring at? People can’t mind their own business?” Perhaps they’ll get the message.
;
By the way, Goq, what did you get?
🙂
I totally get u Goq, thats happened to me and I found it intrusive as well .. However I make an effort not to care what ppl think. (Life is so much funner that way.)
Btw, I know a woman who is divorced. We were talking about starting to date and she told when she goes grocery shopping she cant help but notice the older guy with the bag of cholent beans, 2/3 snacks, and 4 challah rolls.. 🙂
Yeah, maybe he was thinking of a shidduch for you, LOL
And whaddaya gonna be disposing of? 😉
That frustrates me too.
One of my (Sephardic) friends hides his food from people, because he say’s he doesn’t want them casting the evil eye on it.
Another kid that I went to school with used to just confront the people & say in the rudest possible way “Why don’t you just take a picture? It’ll last longer.”
the grocery i can understand but the garbage seems odd to me unless you are throwing out really important documents and you belong to the CIA or something
or one can work for a shelter, gamacha, etc, and wish to recycle.
One person’s trash is another person’s treasure.
He’s a store manager in disguise. He’s doing a visual inspection for restocking purposes.
Don’t get agita over this. Some people really are NOT doing what you think they are, but even if he was staring at your food, SO WHAT??? If he had COMMENTED negatively, I would have wanted to have a good answer for him.
What is way, way worse than what was described here, is when a clearly heavyset female is shopping and the cart is loaded with junk food, chocolate, chips, cookies, ice cream, etc. and someone looks at her food items with disdain and judgmentally. BTW, a guy getting the same items does not necessarily raise the same eyebrows.
Perhaps judged favorably, Goq. Your food purchases sound so geshmak, comin’ right over!
Does the mustard go in the cereal or on the kugel?
Sure thing; just give me the address
You’re kidding me, right? Please say you are.
So next time you go shopping pick up a can of deodorant (or something like that) and if someone starts staring, buy it, and before leaving hand it to them and say “here, I bought this for you”. Kidding!!
Btw, can I join the pretzel and mustard party? I’m so in the mood now.
Goq, thanks, but I think I’ll pass. Enjoy it though–if you get your mustard, that is.
i always check out what other people buy becuz i never can think of something new or interesting to serve ,and so i wonder what they are going to make and would i like it too. i have very little imagination when it comes to shopping and cooking so i;m always looking for ideas. it really interests me. so sue me but i look in other people’s carts. not judging , just trying to work things out for myself. sometimes i get inspired and go buy something i’ve seen. it also helps when i ‘ve forgotten to make a shopping list. oh look, i need paper cups too
by the way, inappropriate behavior like staring is sometimes a sign of early onset dementia or alzheimers, lo aleinu. its also a sign of poor upbringing. so maybe your neighbors are a bit loopy or were neglected as kids and never learnt proper manners. either way , don’t sweat it. you can always say to the starer, is there something you else you think i need with a big smile. they’ll either laugh or mumble something and look away, but you never know you might make a new friend
rude boy was probably musing about the seltzer, as in “my zeidy used to drink seltzer, and i miss my zeidy, or maybe it was the pretzels, did he think you were having a party, thats how my mind works when i see other peoples shopping choices. i also always wonder where the planes are headed when they pass oveerhead, some vacation venue, hmmm. and start to daydream about where i would like to go. enjoy your pet peeve, its yours and your entitled to it.
As goldenkint says, sometimes you just look at other people’s carts or stuff (because really, where are you going to look in a grocery?) and think about your own order and what you forgot and what you need, and you don’t realize that you are staring. Once someone asked me if I wanted an item from their cart, for that reason. And I said, “What? Oh, I’m so sorry, was I staring or something? And by the way, are those plates on sale? What aisle?”
So they told me and watched my cart while I ran and got plates.
Usually, though, it’s the person behind you who is staring at you, not the person ahead of you; they are generally busy with unloading and paying and remembering that they forgot the mustard. So it’s unusual that the person in front was staring. Why was he still there?
Goq- you don’t owe money to that man by chance, and he’s mad that you’re spending his $$ on ice cream??!!
I’m just trying to be creative…
goq- I just hafta say- Im so excited to hear of someone else who eats pretzels with mustard!! I always thought it was only my fam! 🙂
“goq- I just hafta say- Im so excited to hear of someone else who eats pretzels with mustard!! I always thought it was only my fam! :)”
s2021, are you talking about hard or soft pretzels?
I’ve NEVER heard of people doing it with hard pretzels. But on the soft pretzels it’s very common in the US.
Tikkun- Both!
Goq, you’re not in BP, are you?
(Boro Park Stare)
Got the mustard, Goq.
You should have seen this person watching me to see which brand I would choose.
if you lived in BP you would not have this question -you would be used to the stares already. I cannot bear to take my special brother around in BP- they just stare. I do not mean children i mean adults!
Why won’t you just go grocery shopping first thing in the morning when the store opens? You will have the store almost to yourself and no nosy people.
Perhaps he was checking out your cart to see if you were loading up on things that indicate you will be eating your shabbos and yom tov meals home, alone, and was thinking of extensing an invitation.
Perhaps his Rav said to throw out his iopd, blackberry and cell phone, leaving him bored with little else to do, so he decided to play a game called spot everything that starts with the letter M in that guys cart.
Perhaps he was really bored, but also very shy and wouldn’t strike up a conversation and was hoping you might give him shalom and strike up a conversation and instead was left wondering why you were looking at him with a negative expression on your face.
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