Changed Topic of Shiur – Do I Have A Right To Be Disappointed?

Even had he thought he was stealing, I have a right to disagree with him.

That’s fine.

As I mentioned, I feel VERY wrong about taking food and drink from a shul where I’m not a member at a kiddush or similar function*. Do I think it’s stealing if other people do it? Of course not — I understand that this is my own personal feeling and it applies to no one but me.

I had a similar issue yesterday. My mother was in for surgery and I spent the day at the hospital along with my sister and her friend. While they had no problem taking food from the bikur cholim room, I refused. My personal feeling is that if it’s truly an extenuating circumstance, then I can take “advantage” of the generosity of others, but if I have other food/drink available to me, then I should not. So, for example, if I showed up at the hospital at two in the morning and there was no other way to get decent (non-junk) kosher food, then I might partake. But if the cafeteria is open a few floors down which has kosher food and I have money available to purchase it, I should do so rather than take “advantage” of the kindness of others.

Again, this is my personal feeling. I don’t think any less of anyone who doesn’t adhere to this.

The same can be said for the meals in the shul. If I’m not a contributing member of the shul (as it is, I’m only a leech because I sometimes daven there without any other appreciable support** for the shul) then I don’t feel that I have the right to take advantage of their generosity.

Do you disagree with me? That’s fine — just please keep the discussion civil.

The Wolf

* Obviously, if I was invited to the function because I’m a relative/friend of the ba’al simcha, that’s different.

** Aside from some coins dropped in the pushka when it’s passed around.

Obviously Hashem tested you to see if you will listen to the shiur HE wanted you to hear…

Well then, I guess that since I was in the hospital with my mother when she was having surgery and, therefore, missed the shiur yesterday, I guess I failed the test. 🙁

The Wolf

I still can’t figure out why people think they are entitled to take home “care” packages from someone else’s simcha – but that is a whole other topic.

With regard to a bris, for example, it seems to be the accepted practice (at least in Brooklyn).

However, even if I do this, I will follow the following guidelines:

1. Only take for others towards the end of the simcha, when it’s clear that everyone who is at the simcha who wants to eat has had the opportunity to do so. If I have to leave early before everyone else has had a chance to eat, I will not take for others.

2. Take a SMALL amount. A bagel with something on it is acceptable. Half a dozen filled bagels, along with some herring and cake, is not*.

3. Thank the host.

The Wolf

* Obviously, if the host says to you “take half a dozen bagels…” then it would be acceptable.

Thank you oomis and always.

MR,

So, if you spoke to the Rav of this shul and he said I’m not welcome at the shiur, then why are you blaming me for being with my mother? What else should I have been doing? Going from shul to shul looking for another Wednesday night shiur?

The Wolf