Home › Forums › Inspiration / Mussar › can someone please explain?
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October 12, 2011 11:57 am at 11:57 am #599935taking a breakMember
this is just what i observed this morning. i got off my train at my stop and so did another frum man i had seen a few times before on this train. i was a few steps behind him and i saw him take off his yarmulka as if to move it but he took it off, used his other hand to smooth his hair. he then folded it in half, kissed it and placed it in his pocket. YES i know i have to be dan l’kaf zechus but i need some help doing that. are there any reasons a person is allowed to do that? i’d really appreciate the help right now. Thanx!
October 12, 2011 2:21 pm at 2:21 pm #817284popa_bar_abbaParticipantPresumably he works in a place where he cannot wear a yarmluke. In that case, it is totally muttar for him to do this.
It is pretty normal.
October 12, 2011 2:33 pm at 2:33 pm #817285Dr. SeussMemberSome people feel Hashem is a hindrance to their income.
October 12, 2011 2:36 pm at 2:36 pm #817286TheGoqParticipant“used his other hand to smooth his hair. he then folded it in half, kissed it and placed it in his pocket”
Oh he wears a toupee, why would he kiss it?
October 12, 2011 2:49 pm at 2:49 pm #817287amusedParticipantThere is virtually nowhere in America where one “can’t” wear a yarmulka. Those that don’t do so by choice not force.
October 12, 2011 2:53 pm at 2:53 pm #817288popa_bar_abbaParticipantThere is virtually nowhere in America where one “can’t” wear a yarmulka. Those that don’t do so by choice not force.
You are ignorant. And you parlay that ignorance to criticize other people which makes you feel superior.
(Although, I find your ignorance makes me feel superior, so the only difference between us is I am knowledgeable, but I don’t have better middos.)
October 12, 2011 3:22 pm at 3:22 pm #817290HaLeiViParticipantMr. Real, as someone who felt the insult of being titled as someone you aren’t, why would you start that on others?
October 12, 2011 3:30 pm at 3:30 pm #817291HaLeiViParticipantMy grandparents, being Yekkies, only wore a Yarmulka at Devarim Shebikdusha. Once in America they adapted to the Minhag Hamakom and kept it on at all times.
While we would be proud of someone who displays his Yiddishkeit unabashedly, some people feel that we are look down at, or backward at, and that it would hinder their business relationships. He is not being Oiver on anything.
A lot of Heteirim are measured for businessmen. Parnassa is not a luxury, it is a necessity. The Ben Ish Chai allowed some to shave, although they were very Makpid on that, because of Parnassa reasons.
October 12, 2011 3:34 pm at 3:34 pm #817292RavHamachshirMemberYES i know i have to be dan l’kaf zechus but i need some help doing that. are there any reasons a person is allowed to do that? i’d really appreciate the help right now. Thanx!
Rav Moshe says that a person is allowed to take of his head covering to help him get or keep a job. thats a good dan lekaf zechus.
I could be this person feels that he needs to take it off even before reaching his office so that when he meets people in the street he wont make whatever impression he wants to avoid at the office
October 12, 2011 3:52 pm at 3:52 pm #817294midwesternerParticipantPopa: Your comment reminds me of the fellow who tells his insufferable know it all friend, “Between you and me, we know everything in the world that there is to know. You know everything, except that you a snobby stuck up jerk. And I know that!”
October 12, 2011 4:08 pm at 4:08 pm #817295GumBallMemberMy father wears a hat so that he could wear a yarmulkah…maybe he was gonna put a cap on after…
October 12, 2011 8:44 pm at 8:44 pm #817296taking a breakMemberThanx everyone for your ideas; i was having a mental block this morning and couldn’t think of any ideas.
and Goq: ggrrroooaaannn
Have a great Y”T!
October 12, 2011 9:26 pm at 9:26 pm #817297real-briskerMemberWhy didn’t my post go thru? Is there something that you are trying to keep a secret?
There is no deleted post from you on this thread.
October 13, 2011 6:52 pm at 6:52 pm #817298Israeli ChareidiParticipantPerhaps he is a baal tshuva who is slowly taking on more observance. This might be one of the things he is working on now – his rav might have suggested this as a method of steady growth.
Especially since he kissed it when he put it in his pocket. I’ve never heard a halachic reason for that even if it falls on the floor. Anyone?
Either ways, this fellow is probably someone who can use a friend regardless of what his reasons are – why don’t you say hi next tie you see him?
October 15, 2011 6:32 pm at 6:32 pm #817300ToiParticipantits very easy for anyhere from new york or any other city where jews are a visible minority (or majority in BP) to say that a yarlmulka is ok at work but i know a few people who are shomer torah umitzvos who take it off at the office. if you think you dont ever need to then you live in a bubble. not everyone is as accepting as new york.maskim to popa.
October 16, 2011 12:04 am at 12:04 am #817301oyveykidsthesedaysParticipantI remember reading an article on this. I don’t remember who said it, but there are some legitimate poskim who permit taking off the yarmulka for work.
(I don’t know if such a heter would apply nowadays, but that’s a question for your LOR.)
October 16, 2011 4:24 am at 4:24 am #817303taking a breakMemberOldman: i noticed something that didn’t “click” and last i checked there is a mitzvah of hevei dan lekaf zechus. i could not do it my self so i askd for help. i fail to see how this is a p’gam on my part. i found your post demeaning and negative; i was walking in the street and this is something i noticed. please do not judge me to be a nosy yenta based on a question i asked.
to everyone else, you really helped me and i really appreciate it.
October 16, 2011 4:27 am at 4:27 am #817304real-briskerMemberWell I sent a post, and it was not approved.
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