Home › Forums › Humor & Entertainment › Broken Telephone
- This topic has 252 replies, 23 voices, and was last updated 15 years, 1 month ago by YW Moderator-72.
-
AuthorPosts
-
September 23, 2009 3:12 am at 3:12 am #590478pookieMember
i went to the store to buy a lulav.
write a sentence that has something to do with this comment.
September 23, 2009 3:46 am at 3:46 am #659978sunflowerMemberand when i got home i realized that it was pasul!
September 23, 2009 4:50 am at 4:50 am #659979AnonymousInactiveSo I went to my neighbor
September 23, 2009 5:07 am at 5:07 am #659980postsemgirlMemberwho is the posek of my city and asked him what to do
September 23, 2009 5:51 am at 5:51 am #659981charliehallParticipantAnd he suggested I show it to a rabbi because this year we don’t fulfill the d’oraita commanment of lulav and it might still be kosher for the d’rabbanan.
September 23, 2009 6:51 am at 6:51 am #659982mazcaMemberto ask him if I should return it. well I wasnt sure if I bought it that way, or it broke in the way
September 23, 2009 7:55 am at 7:55 am #659983A600KiloBearParticipantBS”D
and asked him to cash food stamps
September 23, 2009 8:10 am at 8:10 am #659984EttieMemberand asked for his Etrog.
September 23, 2009 8:25 am at 8:25 am #659985haifagirlParticipantTo see if there was a heter.
September 23, 2009 12:57 pm at 12:57 pm #659986A600KiloBearParticipantBS”D
to purchase the arba minim with food stamps.
September 23, 2009 12:59 pm at 12:59 pm #659987mepalMemberAnd he said “No. It is passul.” I did not know what to do, I had no more money left to buy another.
September 23, 2009 1:38 pm at 1:38 pm #659988YW Moderator-72Participantso… i got in my Lexus LS600h and drove from Brooklyn to Passaic to Lakewood to Monsey and finally to Waterbury where someone gave me money to buy another lulav…
September 23, 2009 1:45 pm at 1:45 pm #659989haifagirlParticipantBut unforunately, I was unable to get hadassim . . .
September 23, 2009 1:45 pm at 1:45 pm #659990A600KiloBearParticipantBS”D
And instead I used it for gas to fill my gas guzzler while I tried to figure out how I could actually fulfill the mitzvah using lulav hagozul.
September 23, 2009 1:46 pm at 1:46 pm #659991Poshite Yid 613MemberBut when I got to the store I saw the money he gave me was toy money…
September 23, 2009 1:52 pm at 1:52 pm #659992A600KiloBearParticipantBS”D
So I called Lipa Schmeltzer and offered to sell him GELT to throw at his next concert.
September 23, 2009 1:55 pm at 1:55 pm #659993mazcaMemberI was in trouble . What should I do now?
September 23, 2009 1:57 pm at 1:57 pm #659994AnonymousInactiveI started to pray for a miracle.
September 23, 2009 1:59 pm at 1:59 pm #659995A600KiloBearParticipantBS”D
And then I remembered my Fetter Shmeel, who gives out free money.
September 23, 2009 1:59 pm at 1:59 pm #659996Poshite Yid 613MemberAll of a sudden a clown walked into the store and squirted me with a hose
September 23, 2009 2:00 pm at 2:00 pm #659997YW Moderator-72Participantwhile standing outside the store deep in concentration praying for the miracle, the police towed my double parked Lexus LS600h
September 23, 2009 2:02 pm at 2:02 pm #659998mazcaMemberWhen I went to pick it up from the police station I almost fainted they couldnt release it because I owed over 2000 dollars in fines, oh vey now I needed to pay
September 23, 2009 2:06 pm at 2:06 pm #659999Poshite Yid 613Memberall of a sudden my nose was very itchy, and my four cellphones all began to ring a t the same time
September 23, 2009 2:11 pm at 2:11 pm #660000mazcaMemberWho shold I answer first? Everything is a mess
September 23, 2009 2:12 pm at 2:12 pm #660001YW Moderator-72Participanti decided to take the call from my broker first
September 23, 2009 2:18 pm at 2:18 pm #660002Poshite Yid 613MemberI hung up on him right away when I heard his bad news
September 23, 2009 2:36 pm at 2:36 pm #660003noitallmrParticipantThen I decided to answer to my wife…
September 23, 2009 2:38 pm at 2:38 pm #660004Poshite Yid 613MemberShe told me the dentist wants me to call him back
September 23, 2009 2:40 pm at 2:40 pm #660005squeakParticipantshe called to say that she had just won the lottery and I should first tell Jothar “I told you so” and then buy her a nice ya’alom esrog 🙂
September 23, 2009 2:43 pm at 2:43 pm #660006AnonymousInactiveSo I went home, grabbed the ticket, and called back my stock broker.
September 23, 2009 2:58 pm at 2:58 pm #660007A600KiloBearParticipantBS”D
And I asked him to buy 1000 shares of “Keren HaTzvi” mutual fund which invests in esrog plantations throughout Antarctica.
September 23, 2009 3:01 pm at 3:01 pm #660008Poshite Yid 613MemberThe secretary of Keren HaTzvi said that Antarctica is stuffed, and they are now working on Iceland
September 23, 2009 3:12 pm at 3:12 pm #660009mazcaMemberIceland, Wow , What a great place to grow esrogim. I thought
September 23, 2009 3:19 pm at 3:19 pm #660010mepalMemberAnd thats when I found out, that all I won was a grand total of 18 dollars. And most of it had to go to taxes anyway.
September 23, 2009 3:21 pm at 3:21 pm #660011Poshite Yid 613MemberI still had enough to give to tzedaka
September 23, 2009 3:25 pm at 3:25 pm #660012mazcaMemberIn the meantime I was at the police station not knowing what to do I owed tons of money no esrog, no lulav and no money to take out my lexus.
September 23, 2009 3:36 pm at 3:36 pm #660013A600KiloBearParticipantBS”D
So, I left the police station and called my friend Hymie the Hymishe Insurance Adjuster to find out how to report the car stolen.
September 23, 2009 3:39 pm at 3:39 pm #660014Poshite Yid 613MemberJust then a guy named Elchonon came around and bailed my car out with a smile. “Whenever you need me just call “Chuni”
September 23, 2009 3:39 pm at 3:39 pm #660015YW Moderator-72ParticipantHymie was not in the office he was in the federal kollel. his message said he would be back in his office in 3-5…
September 23, 2009 3:54 pm at 3:54 pm #660016mazcaMemberSo i started to wait and pray for a miracle to come about before my phone call to be made
September 23, 2009 3:54 pm at 3:54 pm #660017gavra_at_workParticipantyears, but was looking for a shidduch for his daughter. Big Swiss
September 23, 2009 3:57 pm at 3:57 pm #660018haifagirlParticipantAnd my accountant was in the same kollel and has a son!
September 23, 2009 3:59 pm at 3:59 pm #660019Poshite Yid 613MemberAll of a sudden, a nice looking Rolls Royce whooshed by
September 23, 2009 4:01 pm at 4:01 pm #660020mazcaMemberNo car, no esrog, no lulav and now no shidduch ay vey I really need to pray and fast for a miracle to come right now
September 23, 2009 4:03 pm at 4:03 pm #660021mazcaMemberMy cousin started to say Hi from the window of the Rolls Royce, wow, Prayer does help I thought
September 23, 2009 4:07 pm at 4:07 pm #660022A600KiloBearParticipantBS”D
The Rolls Royce was reported stolen from the estate of the late Michael Jackson.
September 23, 2009 4:08 pm at 4:08 pm #660023Poshite Yid 613MemberHe threw me a backpack full of diamonds, and a 30-vol. list of shidduchim
September 23, 2009 4:17 pm at 4:17 pm #660024mazcaMemberWow I thought. What a nice guy this cousin of mine
September 23, 2009 4:17 pm at 4:17 pm #660025squeakParticipantAt which point I decided to take areivim’s advice and put the money in my pocket, and go do a tashlich/kapparos combo
September 23, 2009 4:19 pm at 4:19 pm #660026A600KiloBearParticipantBS”D
The diamonds were of the same origin as the Rolls, and the shidduchim were all with girls from kanoishe or Federal Koilel families.
-
AuthorPosts
- The topic ‘Broken Telephone’ is closed to new replies.